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By Jessica Cocker
As someone who loves anal sex I am always surprised when someone tells me they’ve never tried it before. When I ask what was keeping them from giving it a try, fear of pain is usually the answer. Remember, just because a masochist might enjoy pain, that doesn’t mean we enjoy ALL kinds of pain. So, how do you go about attempting anal sex comfortably?
- First, be sure to discuss it. Communication is the first step in any kind of play. Be sure you have your safe words ready in case you need to stop or go slower.
- Relax! Prepare mentally and physically. Take some time before jumping in. You can practice tightening and releasing the anal muscles so you are aware of what that sensation feels like.
- Use LOTS of lubrication! The vagina creates its own lubricant, the anus does not. The more you use, the better.
- Don’t worry about making a mess. Messes happen and showers are easy. If you’re concerned about your sheets, keep a towel or wipes near by. Be sure to clean up before and after to reduce the possibility of an infection.
- Try a little play first! Use your fingers or anal toys to get in the mood first. You can even try some vaginal stimulation during anal sex to make it more pleasurable.
- Take your time and allow the bottom to have more control the first time. Instead of having to tell the top to back off, slow down, go faster, put it in, take it out, etc you can allow the bottom to have control of insertion. This will make the process easier for both of you, especially the first time.
- Anal sex does not always have to include insertion either. Try licking or fingering the anal area to create some awesome sensations!
- And remember, hygiene is important. If you feel more comfortable, use the restroom or use an enema before anal play and be sure to clean up thoroughly afterwards.
Once you become more comfortable with anal sex you can be more assertive about it in the future, but for safety reasons you should always approach a new sexual activity with caution while being aware of the risks and taking precautions.