About an Idea Seeker - A Recorded Meeting with The Darkness and his Clouds!
Hi everyone-Spec here with a Sarillion Monitor exclusive! On my last spying mission to the hideout of the Darkness and his Clouds of Chaos, I managed to record a meeting that the Darkness held with his soldiers! The Monitor was all too happy to reprint their conversation. This should show everyone reading how serious The Darkness is about causing havoc and chaos on Sarillion! We can't let the Clouds succeed! Anyway, here's a transcript of the meeting.
The Darkness: Sometimes I'm convinced that you idiot Clouds can't do anything right! True, Greedy Cloud, you managed to cause a drought on Sarillion, but it wasn't enough to keep those pesky Idea Seekers from teaching people how to save water and reduce its effect! And you, Sloth Cloud-sure, you were able to cloud people into littering all over that stupid maze by the Palace, but you didn't cloud them well enough to keep them from cleaning it up again! Explain yourselves!
Greedy Cloud: It's not my fault, boss! If you had given me some more time to fight back against those lousy Teams, that Waterfall would have stayed dry! It's your fault for-
The Darkness: My fault?
Greedy Cloud: Er, I-I mean...um...it's Sloth Cloud's fault! I was totally ready to work with him to keep Sarillion's climate in jeopardy, but he was convinced he could do it all himself! He wanted all the glory and all the credit when it should have been MINE! MINE! ...Er, I mean ours!
Sloth Cloud: Hey, don't look at me, Greedy Cloud! I would have been happy with you doing all the work. I could have sat at home while you took all the credit, but no...you couldn't do anything right so The Darkness made me go help. You think I have fun clouding people and making them think it's too much work to keep track of how long their lawns are, or to separate their recyclables and take them to recycling centers? That's a lot of work! I'd rather be catching up on my sleep! *yawn*
The Darkness: Quiet, both of you! Not only did you fail me, but your actions inspired that King Daveau to start a holiday to promote fighting back against us! Argh! This Sarillion Day needs to be nipped in the bud. Because you've both failed me, I'm sending in Angry Cloud to clean up your mess. Angry Cloud?
Angry Cloud: ARGH! I can't believe what losers you two are! Do I have to do EVERYTHING for you guys?
Greedy Cloud: Oh, knock it off, Angry Cloud. You're just making up reasons to be mad, as usual!
Angry Cloud: WHAT DID YOU SAY?
The Darkness: ENOUGH! Now, Angry Cloud, here's what I want you to do. I've been reading that climate change on Sarillion has been causing an increase in cloud cover over some parts of the planet that have a large number of frogs and salamanders. These amphibians are suffering and dying from a fungus on their skin that prevents their skin from absorbing water! Sunlight can kill the fungus, but because of the extra cloud cover, these amphibians aren't getting enough sunlight!
Angry Cloud: Well, what does that have to do with me?
The Darkness: Stop interrupting! Sarillion's scientists want everyone to start reducing their greenhouse emissions by keeping their recyclable trash out of landfills and using natural lighting in their homes instead of electricity. They think that if the emissions reduce that maybe the cloud cover will be reduced. I want you to get people to start arguing about whether or not that's true! If people are too busy getting mad at each other and arguing, they won't do any work to reduce their emissions and the frogs will keep dying!
Angry Cloud: Look, I enjoy starting fights, but who cares if a bunch of stupid frogs and salamanders live or die?
The Darkness: Because, you scarlet sourpuss, if there are fewer frogs, then fewer insects will be eaten! And if there are too many insects, they'll eat too many plants! Without plants around to use up the CO2 in the air, the climate will keep getting warmer, and the planet will be thrown into even more chaos! Just imagine how embarrassed King Daveau will be when poor, cute little frogs are dropping dead all over his planet during his precious holiday! The whole planet will just want to give up! Hahahahaha! Now GO! Get to work!
Angry Cloud: FINE! I'm going! But I'm not gonna enjoy myself!