Stand in any lift line. In any lodge. In any gondola line you can find. Stand there and watch two parallel worlds existing on one plane.
Stand there and watch skiers and snowboarders intermingle.
The clothes are different. The equipment is different. The speed is different. And the attitude is different. About the only thing the same is the lift ticket. It’s been over 30 years since Jake Burton popularized the snowboard, but the cultural chasm between boarders and two-plankers is wider than ever.
Now, in any other subculture, such a split would be troubling. Problematic, even. In the world of ski and snowboard, though, it’s funny. There’s a good-natured rivalry to it all, befitting the underlying goofyness that pervades our wonderful sports.
Skiers make fun of snowboarders. And snowboarders give it right back. Then we all get on the lift and ride on up.
And what better way to pass the time on the lift than telling a coupla jokes?
Q: Two snowboarders are in a car. Who’s driving?
A: The cops, of course.
Q: What’s the difference between a ski instructor and a bucket of chicken?
A: The bucket of chicken can feed a family of four.
Q: What does a snowboard have in common with a vacuum cleaner?
A: They’re both usually attached to dirtbags.
Q: How many ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw the bulb in, the other to stand there saying, “Nice turn, Nice turn.”
Q: How many snowboarders does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It’s unknown. Never been done.
Or, better yet.
A: Two. One to hold the bulb and one to smoke enough pot to make the room spin.
Q: What do skiers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
And, one more for the road:
This guy walks into a bar and says “Hey, you guys wanna hear a snowboarder joke?” The bartender says, “I’m a snowboarder, the guy on your right is a snowboarder, same with the guy on your left, and the guy behind you is a snowboarder.” So the guy says, “OK. I’ll tell it a little more slowly then…”
Full disclosure: I am a stodgy two-planker.