Monday, May 7, 2012
Last week Larnaca Parents Network organized their first workshop. It was held at Larnaca Municipality's Civil Marriage Office and it was really a perfect venue. Compact and personal, perfect for discussion with other parents.
Parents talked about the use of the naughty step/time out/skeftoulis (thinking spot - as it is called in our household), they shared fun songs which help them get their children to do things like wash hands or brush teeth, they discussed the ever present phrase "oh he's just shy" and how that just reinforces the shy behavior, they shared their favorite parenting books, I need to get my hands on the The Baby Whisperer, parents also shared ideas on motivating teenagers so it wasn't all baby stuff.
A big thank you goes out to Sharon Mckinley for being the brains behind the Larnaca Parents Network and for organizing such fun and informative events for us Larnaca parents.
There is a whole site dedicated to Neuro-linguistic programming, go and check it out.
Elena Papadopoulos, the speaker, brought up some interesting ideas and reinforced things we already knew but needed to be reminded of.
Elena spoke about the power words have on our children, and everyone in general. Choosing your words carefully can be powerful enough to change your child's behavior for better.
Modeling is another technique to consider. Children look to us to set an example, and they will do as we do. If you'd like your child to stop a behavior you should ensure you do not do it yourself. You can't get your child to stop shouting by screaming at them "STOP SHOUTING!". Act as you would like your kids to act.
Elena also suggested not to talk negatively about the children in front of them because this will only reinforce the negative behavior, but to mention only positive things when they are listening, thereby reinforcing the behavior we would like to see repeated.
Reframing is trying to look at a situation from a different perspective. So instead getting upset for being cut off while driving consider what situation the other driver might have to deal with. That way, we keep our frustration down and are less likely to explode in front of our kids. A really good example of reframing came from a parent of two small children. She suggested that instead of getting upset for having to always carry the baby, just consider how people who have only one arm live. If they can do everything with just one arm, so can we.
What I liked the most about the workshop is parental involvement. There was a lot of discussion, exchanging of ideas, brainstorming. That is really what stuck with me the most.
All in all the workshop was a success and I am truly looking forward to the next one.
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