For a time, I was a coach. A personal / life / business coach. I loved the work. Well, it didn’t feel like work. It was joyful and amazing.
It was not uncommon for a client to tell me that they felt that they were not yet what / who they wanted to be. When this came up, we’d discuss the question of who or what they wanted to be. We’d create an image of that future self, including the way they’d talk, the way they’d walk, how they’d hold themselves, their posture, their gestures, the presence they’d create when they entered a room, and so on. A rich, full vision of the future self.
“Wow! That’s who I want to be. How do I get there?”
Sounds tricky, right? I mean, if it were easy, wouldn’t we all be powerful or leaders or loved or in the job we want or…
Here’s the technique I shared with my clients.
I get that you’re not yet that person. You have a clear picture of that version of you, who seems like a different person right now. You have a clear picture of how that person would speak, what they’d say, how they’d stand, how they’d move, and the gestures they’d use, right?
Channel that person. Don’t try to be that person. Act like that person.
What would that person say in this situation? Say that.
What would that person do in this situation? Do that.
It has been successfully demonstrated repeatedly that we can change our feelings by changing our words. We can change our behavior by choice, repeating the changes until they become our real selves.
So rather than wondering what I need to do to become the person I am visualizing, I choose to act like that person until I become that person.
Take it on like a persona, until it “takes”.
As it settles in, my feelings will change to reflect the confidence I begin to feel. The behavior will become natural and mine.
One day, I will wake up and discover that I have become the person I was visualizing.