Mother’s day is a bittersweet day for mothers of missing, exploited, murdered, or endangered runaways. Realize that if this is your first mother’s day without your child that the anticipation of the upcoming holiday is often worse than the actual day itself. Often, the first mother’s day after losing a child is the hardest initially.
However, as the years pass the realization that a child has been gone longer than they were here can make each passing mother’s day even more difficult. The not knowing what happened or where your child is can make every day and night difficult. When a child is missing or abducted or has runaway a mother is left wondering so many things?
The questions are endless, and the answers which are not forth coming leaves so much to the imagination. Is her child safe and warm? Are they hungry? Is he or she being hurt? So, how is a mother whose child is missing, abducted, murdered or an endangered runaway supposed to celebrate Mother’s day?
The answer is simple…however she feels is the best way for her to get through the day. Mothers with other children will have to face the day with the missing child’s siblings. Remember to be gentle with yourself however you decide to spend the day and do not allow others to decide what is best for you. Only you know what you need to do this Mother’s day.
If you are unable to decide how to spend the day, here are some suggestions that may help. Consider writing in a journal your feelings about what has happened or write a letter to your child about what has happened. Spend time at a favorite park or place you and your child enjoyed together. Plant a tree in honor of your child at your child’s school or in your own back yard.
If you need to be more proactive and wish to get your child’s story out to the public consider hanging up posters round town and ask relatives in other areas to help by hanging pictures up in their area. If you need to tell your child’s story feel free to post your story in Bellaonline’s Missing and Exploited Children forum or contact Erika Lyn Smith through the BellaOnline website.
Whatever you decide to do this mother’s day, remember to be gentle with yourself, and accept whatever feelings surface. There is no right or wrong way to celebrate or spend the day or how you are supposed to feel. Allow what feelings need to surface to come forward. Your feelings are simply your feelings and as long as you are safe when expressing them. If you feel you are not safe then please call 911 or go to your local emergency room for help.
Finally, consider forgetting the woulda, shoulda, coulda scenarios that replay themselves in your mind relentlessly. What happened cannot be changed, and hind sight is always 20/20. Looking back anyone of us would change aspects of our life or decisions we made in our life, IF (if being the keyword) we knew what the outcome would be. We cannot go back in time, but we can always hold onto hope and move forward.