Obese in disguise
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“I too am Obese in Disguise”
edit How the disguise is achieved
They achieve this disguise by use of specially-developed stomach muscles for this purpose, utilising the muscles to effectively "suck in", creating an optical illusion by ripping a hole in the space-time continuum. The average person will then not see an overweight individual, but a lean-figure that is more than often not given a second-glance.
edit The Problem
The only problem with this method of Disguising themselves in this way is if someone can get a close enough look, they will see the excess fat on the body of the disguisee.hi
edit The Solution
Fortunately, Obese people in Disguise have found a way to combat this problem: Using the famous cologne known as Sex Panther (yes made famous by the movie Anchorman).
edit How Sex Panther Works With OID's
As Sex Panther has a rather formidable scent (in fact it smells not unlike pure gasoline), when the average unsuspecting person comes to close to an OID (Obese in Disguise) the Sex Panther will reach their nostrils, causing an extreme burning sensation. They will then seek to move as far away from the OID as possible, before they get a chance to see the truth about the OID. This has been the primary method for achieving secrecy for many years now and has only been found not to work in the extreme circumstance that someone is wearing a gas mask, which thankfully doesn't happen very often in a Post World War 2 community.
edit Obese Celebrities in Disguise
edit Recent Findings
Recent studies have actually found that a high percentage(as high as 90%)of Americans are OID. Does this really "surprise" any dietician? the occupation, by definition, focuses on providing informative counsel essential to healthy living. But they are living the American dream as they have chosen.
edit The Truth about Models and Dieticians
The 10% of Americans that are not Obese in Disguise are models and dieticians, the reason behind this is that these "people" are actually not people, they are visitors from another planet where eating food has not become a favourite pastime. As such these "people" are highly revered by OID's, which is why they are such highly paid professions, especially modelling. It is unusual however that OID's havent realised this curious fact that all models are aliens, because Skinny people can not technically exist in a society such as America.
Even though there are OID skeptics, or people who cannot fathom the idea that OID's can exist, it is but a rarely-documented phenomenon that exists in an everyday American community.