I think there is even a story in there somewhere
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.