IS IT CHEATING, OR IS IT BIOLOGY?
A question that has plagued so many for so long, but recent studies are showing that it’s a hell of a lot more complicated than that.
“Every time someone tells me something like, “Non-monogamy is naive. Life’s not that simple.” I want to point them to this image showing just how unsimple non-monogamy is. This is why Cacilda and I encourage people (even couples who write books about sex) to insist on our right to discretion. If it’s highly personal, extremely complex, changing all the time, and really nobody’s business but yours, why answer the question at all? If Bill and Hillary had gone on 60 Minutes back in 1992 with that message, American culture might have taken a big step into maturity.”
-Quote from Sex at Dawn
As social media continues to infiltrate the world wide web it has become increasingly easy to find casual sex at your fingertips (among other tips), and many are trying to unravel the mystery around the age old question: Why is monogamy so hard?
Websites such as Ashley Madison, or the less formal section of Craigslist titled “casual encounters” have been taking a lot of flak from the media for their services, which promise discreet affairs. The Internet now makes it possible to cheat on your spouse in three easy clicks.
However, this predicament of the “sordid internet affair” has academics and scientists rallying to its cause. Many people are trying to come up with a rational response to the question: Why do we cheat?
Why do we cheat?
However the more this question is prodded at, the more it raises another question: Why were we even monogamous in the first place?
In their new book, Sex at Dawn, researchers Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá tackle these questions, and so much more. In fact, they pretty much throw everything you think you know about the origins of sex out the window.
Their book is an unapologetic look at the origins of human sexuality. From the study of Polynesian tribes whom believed that babies were an accumulation of semen – aka the more sex the better, to the effect of farming on sexual behavior.
While the verdict is still out on the argument between biology and monogamy, Sex at Dawn provides some of the most comprehensive answers we’re going to get for a while.
Sex at Dawn is the bible of anyone who has a working polyamorous relationship, but has been afraid to tell their friends.