Key Info: Ubuntu 64 Lucid (No memory issues, no new hardware)
Nearly every application dies with this segfault. Googling around finds dozens of posts that have this exact problem and not a single solution so hopefully you guys can give me a hand.
Example GDB of synaptic:
Starting program: /usr/sbin/synaptic [Thread debugging using libthread_db enabled] Program received signal SIGSEGV, Segmentation fault. 0x00007ffff31a1280 in ?? () from /lib/libc.so.6