|Belugas (Dean Rocky Barrick)|
First right whales (http://environmentalvalues.blogspot.com/2008/04/those-goddamn-whales.html). Now belugas.
Beluga whales are animals that occur in disjoint populations at Arctic and sub-Arctic latitudes. It's a "small", toothed, whale, sans a dorsal fin – an adult immediately recognizable for its uniform, creamy white color. We use the modern definition of "small", which is "weighs less than your SUV, and is typically shorter than one, too". Unlike your SUV, the beluga has the misfortune of liking to congregate in river estuaries, fjords, bays, and other shallow waters right off the coast and near busy ports such as Anchorage, Alaska.
On January 14, 2009, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin announced that she would sue to have the endangered Cook Inlet population of belugas delisted (http://greennewstoday.org/?p=23). Cook Inlet is an area where exploding gas and oil development has spurred planning to expand the port of Anchorage and possibly build a new bridge (presumably this time, to somewhere). The beluga swims – at a typically unhurried 3-9 kph – squarely in the way of this increase in economic welfare. Whatever small economic benefit the little white whale contributes derives mainly from the amusement it affords people in marine "parks". So far as Palin is concerned, the whales should stay there and stay clear of the development of vastly greater economic goods in the Cook Inlet. There it is just a natural liability.
Ironically, Ms. Palin's previous move (in August 2008) to remove federal protection for the polar bear might well have been in the beluga's interests: Aside from humans and orcas, the polar bear is the beluga's primary predator.
We dedicate this limerick to Ms. Palin's zealous dedication to keep the caviar on her plate.
Damn nuisance – that slug-like white whale:
Obstructs us wherever we sail.
So sue 'em we must
Or surely go bust!
God's will is for us to prevail.