By Ekai Ungson
Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura copyright CLAMP and other related enterprises. Characters used without permission.
Original idea from Maia (mainime). The girl is muchly wonderfulness. ^^ Meaning this thing goes to her. Again. You had better be writing me fic, girl. ¬_¬
Also dedicated to Les darling.
First of the Illusione Arc.
have sworn that the moon bled
on the panes on the last sleepless night
of my former life, this being the only way I know
to be never wrong. But to learn how errors become
Once upon a time, a boy came to live as a being with two souls. His own, and one from centuries and centuries past.
Once, he was but an ordinary boy, with ordinary parents, ordinary things to do, ordinary things to fascinate him, and ordinary feelings to become accustomed to. And then, one day, he woke up with all the knowledge of the world around him, and he knew reality to be a lie. He had woken up with the spirit of a wise man within him, and he knew, in that moment, that he was ordinary no longer.
He could no longer wander around the halls of his house without pondering the mysteries of the universe that seemed to be stuck in his head. In fact, his head seemed to be too small for his mind, as his mind was full to the bursting with knowledge of all things great and small. He could no longer play with his set of tin soldiers and pretend weapons because he knew he could play with other things on a much larger scale. No longer was he confined to inanimate objects and elementary intelligence.
He now possessed the cunning of a man who had lived for so long and so far that he was above mere human machination. Not only that, he now had knowledge of magic, of mystics, and the whole world was his playground, everything in it subject to his wishes.
He had the knowledge to play with people.
But in this, he was alienated, his acquisition of such knowledge was met with the loss of the very essence of his childhood; the loss of his innocence. He knew things normal children could not relate to so they didn't go near him. He was viewed as somebody who had grown up too fast.
Ah, if they only knew.
And so the little man-boy retreated into the shadows of his home, retreated into the darkness of his study, and waited for himself to grow up.
falling upward to the dark sky,
desire extending like wings, feather tips
fastened to the ground.
I am trying to know who, or what you are.
Once upon a time, in a garden far from other people's prying eyes, lived a beautiful princess whose touch brought immediate life.
With her hands the brown transformed itself to red, the gray turned to pine, the black became yellow. One look from her eyes and wilting plants were renewed. One smile revived tired birds and other animals. And her voice, when she sang, brought hope and courage and peace to anyone who cared to listen.
She brought spring to earth when it was time. She freed the frozen flowers from their icy constraints, then sent them to spread their fragrance throughout the world. She provided humans with happiness so immense they forgot all of the world's woes.
But she, in herself, was lonely.
Her garden kept her well-hidden. The gate, however, was never locked, but the princess was afraid to venture outside for fear of things she did not know nor understand.
She had seen the harshness that reality had brought to her queen mother, and she did not want to get hurt like that. And so, she remained alone, where she thought she was safe, inside her four walls, east, west, south, north.
not enough to know you are never confused
with the blue of sky and sea. It's not enough to know
that in this world, some fissures exist
solely to swallow pain.
When the little boy finally grew up, he discovered something he could not explain no matter how he tried.
The word for it was "longing".
He came to know somebody who could make him happy and immensely sad at the same time. He came to know a woman who understood him somehow no matter how obscurely he behaved and no matter what he told her, she believed him.
The word for it was "want".
A man trapped in the body of a child, a child trapped in the mind of a man, he still didn't know which was which. But this was what he was, this was what he had, and soon, she became everything that mattered to him, everything that kept him still sane and still reasonable.
He created for himself magical creatures because he could and because he felt truly lonely. But even then, in their party of four, he felt distinctly alone, except when he lay in the arms of that woman.
It was something he believed to be love.
The old soul within him had made many mistakes in life, including that of sacrificing this feeling called love' in the pursuit of more magic. He then thought that he didn't want to make the same mistake, didn't want to share in the same loneliness.
The young man then devoted his whole life to love. He gave the woman his whole being, his whole soul, not leaving anything for himself, because the old soul had kept EVERYTHING to himself and was subsequently broken.
But he did not foresee certain circumstances that led to the woman leaving him, still alone.
He then vowed to never care for another again, and he built walls around himself that secluded his heart from the rest of the world.
Your name is etched in places I cannot gouge out.
Don't ask of me what I can't do.
One day an adventurous cherry blossom petal flew into the princess' garden.
"Won't you play?" asked the cherry blossom. "You look awfully lonely."
"I am lonely because I have no friends," replied the princess. "I am alone here."
"Then why don't you go out of this garden?" asked the petal.
"I am too afraid."
And the cherry blossom petal, taking pity on her, went on to tell her about the parts of the world she had seen, places she'd visited, people she had met. Through the eyes of the petal the princess saw the world as well, and she became happy.
And then a miracle occurred.
"I'll be your friend," the petal offered.
The princess was very happy, for she was no longer alone. She took all the riches of her palace and offered them to the petal, hoping it would stay and talk to her for ever, hoping it would not leave her lonely anymore.
But the adventurous blossom left when the East Wind picked up to seek a happiness it still hadn't known. And the princess knew then that the cherry blossom petal sought a love that the princess would never be able to give her.
has this world entered my heart, leaving
fingerprints sharp as nails,
puncturing flesh and bone. You must know
what always breaks is what is already broken.
I wonder if the velocity of your love outmeasures the velocity of my pain,
knowing your enormous hands have punished more
than they have forgiven.
each moment I am unable to rise,
you quicken the need to unravel yourself,
and suddenly, I become the song that climbs
chords of fire and rain,
almost instinctively: a whisper
frigid to your ear.
It is like this that they come together, both broken in heart and soul.
Once there lived two beings who were from two very different worlds.
He lives to die.'
He was a powerful sorcerer that could bring discord and death if he so wished it. He was like a storm; strong, ruthless, potentially dangerous, volatile.
He was angry.
Angry at himself, for being a fool, angry at the world for providing him the chances to be so. And so he cursed all time, space and circumstance and then proceeded to hide in the four corners of what he thought was an invincible confinement.
She dies so others live.'
She was a princess that was only then let out into the world, with nothing to show for herself but the capacity to love and a touch that brought life.
And when she saw those tall parapets situated in the middle of nowhere, she was touched with a great sense of irony.
She thought, here was someone who chose to lock himself up when there was a whole world to see.
Here was someone a lot like who she was before.
Barricades did not block out pain, the pain whoever was inside was hiding from. You could get hurt just as well, if not more, inside four corners of stone.
She knew that now.
And so the princess stared up at the great stone wall, stared at its height that never seemed to end, and touched it.
She drew back immediately, as the rock was cold, so cold, so filled with pain and loss and bitterness and disappointment.
Nobody in the world deserves to be as lonely.
She looked all around to find a way inside, but there were no cracks in the stone, no doors to go in and out of. There was nothing there, as if the one inside really didn't want anybody to find him and touch him.
The princess looked at the self-imposed prison and nearly wept with pity.
It was not a strong, unseen force nor a natural disaster that broke into the walls of his confinement. Strangely, it was the first notes of a song that awakened him from slumber.
There was something in the voice that made him sit up and listen when he thought he would never care. It was a song about remembering, remembering life and how to love and how fate leads two people close but leaves the other behind. It was a song of sad love but it wasn't just that, it was as if the singer herself was putting her soul into the song.
And as he listened he did not see that the walls he had built were crumbling to pieces.
And when the last piece of granite fell to the earth, before him was an angel, who held out her hand.
He was rain, and hail and snow in winter. He was blue, silver, ash, darkness personified.
She was sunlight, and spring. She was red, gold, yellow, iridescent light.
They were as different as midnight and high noon, as different as the surroundings they thrived in.
They met in the twilight.
However, the sorcerer, once exposed to the air outside, began to melt because he could not control the feelings within him. He was sad, joyous, angry, elated, all at the same time. He began to dematerialize like wax exposed to high flame.
He turned eyes full of anguish towards the princess, and she heard him say,
"I want to live now, I want to live—
I want to understand you, I want to know you, save me."
She reached out and her hand met his in the air.
What magic do you hold, asked the sorcerer to the princess.
Magic?, asked the princess, confused.
What magic do you possess, how did you make my walls crumble, how did you make me listen to your song?
The princess thought for a moment.
I know no magic, said she. I only give life to things.
Author's Obligatory Note-like things:
First of all, let me just say, PUFF.
"Fairy Tale" was originally two oneshots off the original Illusione Arc. The first was entitled "Crescendo" and the other was called "La Belle Ange". However, I mixed them together and incorporated the fic I was making for Maia and THIS came out.
The second installment will be out sometime next month. Questions and other whatnot may be given to me via email or by blog commenting. ^-^