I’ve never used the word father to address my dad or to describe him to anyone else. He’s dad. The term father has always felt very stiff and formal to me and my dad is anything but those things.
It never really occurred to me that anyone can be a father but it takes a bit more to call oneself a dad. But with
Father’s Dad’s Day fast approaching, Serge Bielanko (and the dad of my two babies, in the interest of full disclosure) wrote a heart wrenching missive wherein he beautifully articulates the difference between a father and a dad.
In Now And Forever: How Being A Father Keeps You From Being A Dad Bielanko draws from personal experience to relay why he thinks “father” is an empty word.
This Sunday is Father’s Day, but that name is bulls**t if you ask me.
Pretty much any man can be a father, as long as his fish swim alright. But there’s nothing great about that. There’s nothing all that great about being able to reproduce, really. Lots of living things do it. Hell, they all do. If you think about it, any regular guy can take a sip of wine and unsnap his dirty cutoff Levis and do the deed/become a father and have a cigarette lying back in bed, his head rested on a pillow, all in the course of about five minutes if he’s no real Lothario.
Maybe twenty minutes if he takes his time.
Twenty minutes tops to become a father.
The word “father” means nothing. It’s a biological term, a science book word. It’s like saying, “He’s a meat-eater.”
Oh yeah? Is he?
Join the freakin’ club
If you’d like to read the rest of this really excellently written piece click here.
I’m inclined to subscribe to his theory as the word father has always slipped from my mouth about as gently as water from a firehouse. Do you agree? Is the term “father” an empty word or does it denote a certain kind of respect for the men who helped create us? What do you call your dad?
Read more from Monica on Strollerderby:
You can also find Monica on her personal blog, The Girl Who.