I was thinking a little on this post last night. It had nothing to do with the fact my wife is out of town. That’s my story I’m sticking to it!
As a non Orthodox I obviously cannot answer the direct question asked. The subject of masturbation in marriage came up though, and as a married man please allow me to ask a couple of questions…
I read once that the term ‘one flesh’ in modern English would be interpreted as ‘one being’ or ‘one organism’. Would this not be the basis of why masturbation is forbidden even in a marriage? If a single being separates itself for the purpose of self gratification then how (in that moment at least) can it be considered a single organism? Figuratively speaking would that not be the equivalent of chopping off an appendage? I think C.S. Lewis made the comparison to a latch and key or something like that. It is two parts of the same mechanism, each part being made to work in conjunction with the other. I suppose, of course, we could use the key without the latch, say, to open a can of paint or something. It would work though that it not its True purpose, and we do stand the chance of breaking the key when using it improperly, and by doing so destroy the entire mechanism latch and key.
Then I considered what I think we all agree on that Marriage is a sacrament. It is also a contract between not just two but three; husband, wife, and God. If we go outside of the purpose, and contract, (will of God) is it still a sacrament?
Then of course there are the thoughts that often go along with self gratification. If a spouse is doing so fantasizing of someone other than their own spouse would we consider that lust in the mind that we are taught is adultery in our heart?
That brought me to the subject of mutual self gratification that was brought up. Important to note this is just my thought and opinion here. If a husband and wife ‘one flesh’ do something mutually together for gratification of either or both, especially considering the husbands body belongs to the wife and vise versa, would that not be remaining within the confines of matrimony? Would that not be remaining as one flesh (two parts of one mechanism operating together) and something to remain personal between husband, wife, and God?
Just my two cents if worth even that.