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Who doesn’t love dolphins? They’re cute, cuddly playful mammals who have only two things on their mind: Play and Sex. They’re probably the only other animal that has sex just for the fun of it. Now who wouldn’t say no to such an offer? Apparently, a British spinster named Sharon Tendler decided that, at age 41, her only chance of cuddling is with a Dolphin oddly named Cindy. Complete with a ceremony, Cindy and Sharon Tendler got married and are now happily thrashing in the waterpark.
Don’t Approach Lest I Explode!
Animals have self-defense mechanisms. The hedghog, for instance, expands into a spiked ball whenever there is nearby danger. Cockroaches were probably pretty insects that have become terribly hideous and slimey to avoid being eaten. So what does a toad do? Well… crows like to eat toad liver… so the toads probably thought it best to threaten the crows by exploding. A 1000 exploded toads later and they realized they’re giving the crows free happy meals. Now if this were in the States, they’d call the toads Muslims.
A Fainting WHAT Now?
Goats. Yes. Fainting Goats is actually a breed of goats that faint when startled. The animal is usually housed as a pet, and not used for dairy (but it may eventually be eaten). Given its niche, one is likely to believe that exposure of the goat to scary movies at homes, like The Ring, may have genetically altered the goat to faint when startled. Now how about we put the goats in the cinema.
Executioners may have a new adversary: The Chicken. Mike, specifically. Probably the only recorded animal to have survived beheading, this little headless fellow remained alive for a full year and a half. Then, in all irony like all heroes before him, he choked on his own mucucs.
Although not of the Emperor Penguin species, this penguin is the only living animal to be so revered that it actually became an army officer. Putting new meaning to “March of the Penguins”, I can only assume what a military that is led by a penguin officer is capable of doing.
You are an orphaned hippo, tragically recovering from a tsunami. What do you do? Befriend a 130 year old tortoise. They’re best of friends now, and are a living example at how animals are intelligent enough to be able to form their own method of inter-species communication. They’re having fun more than any human to date.
Imagine a universe where there are no females. Yes, only males. So how do you mate? Well, the answer is simple. Each of you pulls out his penis, and you fence (as in penis-fight), and the loser gets inseminated. Pretty interesting huh? A novel idea only presented to you by flatworms.
Trance, techno, R&B and music in general is all nonsense to weasels. All it takes for them to dance is achieve anything. Called the War Dance, weasels dance together whenever they accomplish anything in their lives. Talk about a happy bunch of party animals!