What is the best tree for preserving order?—The birch.
Why is shoemaking the easiest of trades?—Because the boots are always soled before they are made.
How can a gardener become thrifty?—By making the most of his thyme, and by always putting some celery in the bank.
Why is it probable that beer was made in the Ark?—Because the kangaroo went in with hops, and the bear was always bruin.
"What was the biggest thing you saw at the World's Fair?" asked a wife of her husband.—"My hotel bill!" said he.
Why is C like a schoolmistress?—Because it forms lasses into classes.
What is that which never asks any questions and yet requires many answers?—The street-door.
If a man bumped his head against the top of a room, what article of stationery would he be supplied with?—Ceiling whacks. (Sealing-wax.)
Which is the longest word in the English language?—Smiles; because there is a mile between the first and last letters.
Which is the oldest tree in England?—The Elder Tree.
What is that which happens twice in a moment and not once in a thousand years?—The letter M.