1. He makes onions cry
2. Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
3. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.
4. Rajanikanth can build a snowman….. out of rain.
5. Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
6. Rajanikanth can drown a fish.
7. When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,……… … he turns the dark off.
8. When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.
9. Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.
10. The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.
11. Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
12. Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.
13. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
14. Rajanikanth’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
15. If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, "Did you mean Rajanikanth?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
16. Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
17. Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
18. When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
19. Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
20. Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
21. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
22. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
23. Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
24. Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life unless it gets in his way.
25. It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
26. Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
27. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
28. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.
29. Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.
30. Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
31. With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
32. The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.
33. When you say "no one’s perfect", Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.