What a fun mini contest, because not only can I announce a totally random winner, but I can also arbitrarily state why he they deserves this prize...
Apparently, Little Sparrow deserves to win due to his crushed, haunting dreams of being on team of swimming assassins! Congratulations! PM me with your address and remind me that you are over 17 and we'll be in business. Oh, and also for giggles I figured out random who the runner ups were.
God Len - Because I haven't given him a Christmas present yet.
Black Rose - Because he is not American.
Of course, you two didn't win anything for being runner ups, but you were totally deserving.