Unless you’re pretty lucky or haven’t been in the workforce too long, you’ve probably experienced this: A boss you enjoy about as much as you would an afternoon with a wolverine (see nice photo). But rather than wasting energy on frustration and anger, try applying some of your well-honed business skills to improve things:
Approach the relationship as you would a business problem – Gather data, analyze the situation, isolate points of conflict and develop an Action Plan for dealing with them. What exactly are the issues you find so bothersome? Micromanaging… ill temper… lack of recognition… lack of understanding of your function… too much constant nervous intensity that stresses you out? Try to be as specific as you can. You can’t formulate a plan of attack unless you understand precisely what the issues are.
Drain all the emotion out of the situation – Or at least as much as you can. It’s hard to communicate, much less negotiate, when you’re overly emotional, and manager-employee relationships can easily get that way. Strip away the fog of anger so you can view the circumstances dispassionately. Clarity’s the goal.
Ask yourself tough questions about your role in the problem – Is it really all your boss’s fault? Or are there things you’ve done that have contributed to the problem? As much as we don’t like to admit it… and may prefer to view our boss as a wolverine in a fine suit… most conflicts have their roots in shortcomings on both sides. (When I think back to my own most challenging management conflicts, from my vantage point today I realize there was a subtle “resistance to change” on my part that I didn’t fully acknowledge at the time.)
Look hard for common ground – Are there places where you both can give a little to get to a common understanding? Compromise is the currency of negotiation. And once you’ve ascertained where common ground may lie… then communicate openly about it. As much as it’s said often, it’s still true: So many relationships, in or out of business, founder on poor communication. With the dispassionate clarity you’ve cultivated, discuss the pain points. Let’s say it’s recognition. Is there more your manager can and should be doing to recognize you? Why is he (or she) holding back? What management options are available? Is it just perversity on his part… or is there something more you could be doing to earn that recognition? Is there another step… another project… another idea… another solution… something you’re not fully aware of that management is looking for? Without open honest dialogue, you may never locate that common ground.
It’s a big world out there – At the end of the day, if you’ve rationally and painstakingly made good faith efforts, have communicated openly, and have come to the conclusion that you’ll continue spending your workdays staring down a wolverine, then move on. As Nike says, just do it. Work your network, get the resume out. Are there other jobs of interest in your current organization? Are there competitors who may be salivating at the prospect of bringing on board someone with your background and skill set? Is there another career you’ve always wanted to try? Is there another place you’ve always wanted to live? Often the very act of taking constructive steps forward is enough to lift one’s spirits…
If left unchecked, unhappy relationships with management have a way of lingering and dominating one’s being.
At the end of the day, far better to look a wolverine in the eye than wallow in long-term dissatisfaction.
Inaction is the enemy, and a thoroughly businesslike approach is always a solid foundation on which to move forward.
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