How do you do it?
Asking for consent isn't just about getting a "yes" or "no" answer, but also about truly understanding what your partner wants and is feeling. The process of asking for consent should make you both feel respected and more connected to one another.
Will asking for consent kill the mood?
- No, it should make you both feel closer and more connected, more respected.
- If the mood can be ruined with a question, it probably wasn't so hot to begin with.
- The mood is really ruined when your partner feels uncomfortable, disrespected, or unsafe.
When to give the Green Light
When you are very clear that this is what YOU want.
When you feel you can trust your partner to respect your decision- even if you chance your mind.
*Consent Matters website content is adapted from Consentissexy.org and American College Health Association (2008) "Shifting the paradigm: Primary prevention of sexual violence.*