Following the debacle of the Mandela memorial being overshadowed by fake sign language, all future international events will be staffed by Australia’s ‘favourite joey’. Skippy will translate multiple dialects into a series of universally understood hind leg ‘thumps’, ‘clicking sounds’ and ‘rudimentary twerking’.
South Africa’s deputy Disability Minister Hendrietta Bogopane-Zulu assured President Obama that interpreters would be able to translate his words ‘provided he sticks to the topic of hopping, the mocking of wallabies or warning when Joe Biden gets trapped down a mine shaft’.
Deaf-blind associations have been less enthused. A spokesman said: ‘It is unclear how the visually impaired or deaf are expected to understand Skippy. However any efforts to translate Bob Dylan’s mumblings, Charlie Sheen’s twitter feed and the Offside Rule, would be greatly appreciated.’