Oxymorons and Contradictions
Thursday, 06 October 1994
Most likely these are borrowed from Steven Wright and similar
comedians. They're not all that funny.
- Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink
- Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
- Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
- Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of
- Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited
- Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
- Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
- How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
- If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks
on the doors?
- If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
- If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON(R), how do they make TEFLON(R)
stick to the pan?
- If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a
height, what would happen?
- If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you
turn on the headlights?
- You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if
the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
- Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
- Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
- Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
- Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a
shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
- You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes,
why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
- Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you
turn down the volume on the radio?
- I don't believe in reincarnation, but I did in my past life.