The phrase “We all go through stages in life” is a cliche, but what about stages in work?
Erik Erikson names five stages of life, in which we wrestle with autonomy as a kid and identity in the teens, intimacy ages 20-40, generativity – nurturing or creating things that will outlast us — from 40-65, and integrity from age 65-death. That model worked well for decades, but now that 65-plus can span 30 or more years, it should have its own name before death. I suggest “The Quest for Meaning.”
There are stages in the life of work that parallel and weave through the stages of life. These are stages in MY life. I hope they resonate with you. I discover while talking to people in various stages that similar themes cycle through, and we return to themes of youth again in later age. Different genders experience this differently, and romance and family have significant impact. I also lean on Erikson’s stages of life development to name the ego tensions I faced in work and life.
To start: in childhood, we play to learn. Our brains and bodies grow through play. We learn trust and mistrust. As we develop autonomy we also learn to feel shame and doubt.
We learn to work in childhood and adolescence. Like using training wheels to ride a bike, I was first given an allowance, then real pay. I learn allowance is a gift, pay is earned. I find initiative or feel guilt, am applauded for industry or feel inferior if my work isn’t valued.
In my early teens into my 20’s, my tasks are to build identity and initiate intimacy. This can be a very confusing and isolating time, but it builds a foundation for the rest of life. This stage is when we start to work for a living. The questions are: “Who am I?” and “Who am I with?”
Late teens to 30’s. This stage overlaps developmentally with the next two, similar dynamics but different emphases. Working IS Living: my occupation becomes a vocation. This is the stage when, if I haven’t developed intimacy skills, I might over-identify with work, and become a workaholic. The temptation is to skip the question “Who am I with?” and move right to “What do I do?” Work could be more important than intimacy, while love and relationships regularly play second fiddle. It often pays off, but only in money. There’s a danger of things becoming more important than people. Much of my identity is bound up in productivity.