Toilet Talk Newsletter
Spring 2016 Toilet Talk
By Laura Wysocki, UCC GA amd Randi Scheiner, PhD and UCC Psychologist
How to Help a Friend with an Eating Disorder
Learn about eating disorders. If you are worried that a friend may be struggling with an eating disorder, the first step is to educate yourself about the causes and symptoms.
What are the signs of eating disorders?
Express your concerns in a non-judgmental way. When you do speak to your friend, it’s important to express yourself in a caring way. You should be firm and honest about what you see and what your concerns are, but don’t patronize them or criticize them.
Be prepared for defensiveness. Your friend may get very angry with you. Since the eating disorder may be an important coping mechanism, he/she may feel threatened that you are trying to take it away.
Know your limits and notify someone. It is helpful to take an active role in getting your friend help and information, such as medical care, counseling, nutritional counseling, and in some cases, parental involvement.
Be patient. Once your friend is in treatment, don’t force him/her to talk about his or her eating disorder, emotional issues or treatment. Do offer to listen, however, if he or she wants to talk.
It is important to remember that the habits surrounding eating disorders become firmly ingrained over time. For this reason, eating disorders cannot “go away” over the night. On the contrary, someone often has to go to counseling for some time before results become visible.
Be a good role model. Practice sensible eating, exercise, and self-acceptance in order to provide a healthy example for your loved one.
Remember that you cannot force someone to seek help, but you can be supportive, understanding, and informed about eating disorders and available resources.
Hints for Healthy Eating
One of the best ways to help a friend with disordered eating, is to set a good example by taking care of yourself. Understanding these basic nutritional guidelines can help get you started on the right path.
Eat every three to five hours. Eating throughout the day ensures that you feel full enough to carry out things you need to do, and also prevents you from bingeing on unhealthy, processed foods because you’re starving..
Eat the appropriate number of calories. For women, this means consuming approximately 2000 calories a day. Men should consume approximately 2600 calories a day. Check out www.choosemyplate.gov for more information.
There are no bad foods! While some foods should certainly be eating in moderation, there are no bad foods. Restricting your diet and trying to avoid certain foods (or food groups) can lead to bingeing, or other disordered eating habits.
Eat balanced meals. At each meal, have vegetables, a protein, and a starch.
How to Be Your Own Mentor
Many of us struggle with self criticism. How often are we more compassionate to others than we are to ourselves? We might think that we’re more motivated and successful when we’re hard on ourselves, but research has shown that the opposite is actually true; students tend to be less productive, or even give up when they are too hard on themselves and their expectations are too high. They are more successful when they are more encouraging.
Think back to your favorite teacher or coach growing up. How did this person motivate you? Was it through making rigid unrealistic demands? Probably not. Many of us feel most motivated by those who believe in us, and encourage us to keep trying.
In general, we learn more and perform better when we have a “growth” mindset—we acknowledge we have a learning curve, but we believe in ourselves and our ability to improve over time.
If you tend to be your own worst critic, there are steps you can take to develop more positive self talk.
1. Become more aware of your thought patterns
Start to become mindful of your own thoughts and the messages you tell yourself. Notice patterns in your self talk. Are you encouraging or are you critical?
In order to start to be more mindful, it can be helpful to think back to recent times in which you have experienced a lot of stress or anxiety. Usually, such feelings are prompted by events. However, it is how we interpret these events that ultimately leads to our emotional reactions. Try to look back at previous times of stress in order to assess your self talk in difficult situations.
2. Label your inner critic
Once you start paying more attention to the negative messages your critic is telling you, you will likely to begin to notice a theme. Here are common pitfalls (with examples) that people tend to experience:
3. Think of alternate thoughts
When you realize you are being overly critical of yourself, try to reframe your negative thoughts.
Think of examples of positive self talk by asking yourself some of the following questions
It is especially helpful to develop realistic expectations of one’s self. Some examples of more positive self talk can include:
4. Practice, practice, practice
Changing thoughts and behavior takes time! Be patient and continue practicing. It may feel unusual at first, but the more aware you are of how you think, and practice thinking more realistically, the more motivated you will be.
This article was written by Laura Wysocki and Randi Scheiner, PhD and was adapted from a presentation done by UCC Psychologist Kate Shinko at an Eating Awareness Committee event in Fall 2015. For more information about upcoming EAC events, please see our website at: https://www.binghamton.edu/counseling/services/eating-awareness/
Fall 2015 Toilet Talk
By Laura Wysocki, UCC GA amd Randi Scheiner, PhD and UCC Psychologist
Understanding Sexual Assault on College Campuses
Many students may not receive education about sexual assault before beginning their
college careers. In order to gain a better understanding of sexual assault on college
campuses, we interviewed interns from the 20:1 Sexual Assault Prevention Program,
20:1 Bystander Intervention Program, and Interpersonal Violence Prevention Program.
What do you think most college students fail to realize about sexual assault?
Creating Healthy Habits
In researcher Charles Duhigg's book The Power of Habit, the author explains the importance of habits, how habits are formed, and how we
can change our habits or create new ones in order to live healthier, more productive
How Our Habits are Formed
Habits are formed through an ongoing loop: First, there is a cue that tells your brain to carry out an activity that has become automatic. Then, there is a physical, mental, or emotional routine. Finally, there is a reward which helps your brain decide if this behavior is worth committing to memory in the form of a habit. Habits never completely disappear; they're encoded into the structure of our brain. This is why we don't have to relearn how to drive after going on vacation!An example of a habit all of us have (hopefully) formed is brushing our teeth. Each morning, we automatically place toothpaste on our toothbrush and go through the process of cleaning our teeth. As a reward, we get the refreshing feeling we've come to associate with this habit.
How to Create New Habits
Developing Better Study Habits
In order to gain a better understanding of how to form better study habits, we spoke to Alaina Ryan from the Binghamton University Discovery Center. She provided us with the following insights:
Plan Ahead: "At the start of each week, students can sit down and write a list of everything they need to get done that week: readings, homework assignments, making flashcards, studying, etc. The next step is to divide that list down into parts they can reasonably accomplish in one block of time. For some students that's 25 minutes, for other students it's 45 minutes. "