We are Montessori so they do a very educational birthday experience...the kid holds the earth and walks around the sun the number of years old they are...at each rotation(science lesson) they stop at their birth month and the teacher says a milestone that the kid did. Then there is a birthday song and the kid blows out a candle. If we want to bring in a snack it has to be fruit or vegetable. No cake.
In your situation, I'd be peeved...I would let them know that feel this way. The school seems a little disorganized. Is this the norm?