Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
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So these texts are actually pictures he sends you of his money shots in different colors and abstract shapes?
I see what you did there :P wait isn't that rasterbation?
So he's going through his blue-ball period?
There is a u in masturbate.
He's such a master at jacking it, that for him it's "Master"batory!
Picasso wasn't an author.
...his texts are like abstract masterpieces that one would enjoy masturbating to?
I approve of this text