Godzilla vs. Vaginus
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|Godzilla vs. Vaginus|
|Directed by||Nanashi Gombe|
|Written by|| Kento Mosura|
Lord Alfred Tennyson
|Starring|| Ishimaru Kenta|
|Produced by||Hirohito Suzuki|
|Release date|| April 1st, 1971 (Japan) |
June 26, 1972 (USA)
|Runtime|| 98 Minutes (Japan) |
|Preceded by||Godzilla vs. Urethra|
|Followed by||Godzilla vs. Mechavulva|
Godzilla vs. Vaginus ゴジラ対バルバ (Gojira Tai Vulva ), also known as "Godzilla vs. Vulvus" in its American release, is a 1972 Japanese film made by Toho studios and is the 30th installment of the Godzilla series. Despite proclaiming an end to the franchise with the 1971 release of Godzilla vs. Urethra, Toho studios quickly replaced veteran director Ishiro Honda with newcomer Nanashi Gombe. Despite his lack of attention to detail, Gombe was surrounded with Toho's finest and still managed to produce a typical Godzilla film - the type of movie that makes you wonder if dropping an atomic bomb on these people was a good idea.
Mr. Tako, a rich businessman with a penchant for black market antiquities, is frustrated with the dearth of Japanese Islander fertility symbols in his collection. When his acupuncturist tells him about a giant statue he saw on Infant Island, Tako immediately sends two men, Sakurai and Kinsaburo, to find and bring back the statue at any cost. The natives explain to the men that if the statue is removed, a giant monster will awaken and cause great destruction in order to retrieve the sacred idol. The men pretend to suspend their quest for the statue but sneak off with it later that evening.
After the statue is given to Mr. Tako, a large bubbling vortex is seen in the Pacific Ocean by a fleet of tuna boats who immediately report seeing Vaginus emerge from the water and head directly towards Tokyo. The next half hour of the movie features lots of people in suits and military uniforms sitting at large conference tables and arguing as to what should be done about the situation - while they're talking via satellite with other nations' important people in suits and military uniforms who also happen to be sitting at large conference tables. When Vaginus finally arrives, The Japanese Self Defense Forces attempt to repel the monster but are immobilized and destroyed by its hypnotic eye beam.
Vaginus squats down in the middle of the busy downtown shopping District and begins to emit a red jelly-like substance that spreads and immobilizes everything in its path. The film then shows several strange impressionistic animated scenes portraying Vaginus doing its evil work - using its hypnotic eye to make people spontaneously bleed from their crotch. After the goo reaches Tokyo Bay, it turns the water red and alerts Godzilla that somebody peed in the pool. Godzilla rises from the water to attack Vaginus but he's in Yokosuka, over 50 miles away, prompting an incredibly destructive march through the most densely populated areas in Japan en route to Tokyo.
When Sakurai and Kinsaburo see the destruction caused by the statue they stole, they plead with Mr. Tako to let them return the idol to its rightful place. With Godzilla quickly approaching, a fight ensues and Mr Tako manages to kill his henchman - escaping with the statue before his house is destroyed. Godzilla finally gets to Tokyo but finds his atomic breath blocked by Vaginus' ability to clench and repel it. Godzilla attempts to punch Vaginus in the mouth but gets his fist stuck inside. Vaginus starts to violently shake and vibrate, whipping Godzilla around like a rag doll and throwing him into the Tokyo Tower where he's rendered unconscious - The little light bulb in his eye goes dim and slowly blinks as Godzilla lapses into sleep mode.
The next 15 minutes is a blur of bleeding crotch citizens running from the approaching vaginus, civil defense guys in shiny helmets waving them on and random fake building destruction as the monster pursues Mr. Tako and his truck loaded with the statue.
In a bid of desperation, Mr. Tako drives the statue to the Tokyo Tower and leaves it at Godzilla's feet before being killed by Vaginus. When Vaginus reclaims possession of the statue, lightning and electrical discharges surround the monsters. A large lightning bolt strikes the leaning Tokyo Tower and changes the light bulb in Godzilla's eye from sleep mode back to full brightness. Godzilla and Vaginus engage in a 20 minute long final battle that features 10 minutes of them throwing a fake Styrofoam® boulder back and forth at each other. Vaginus is destroyed when Godzilla dives headfirst into its mouth and uses his atomic breath to explode the monster from the inside out - covering the city with flesh and red goo. The movie ends with lots of people in suits and military uniforms shaking hands and hugging while Godzilla slowly walks out to sea.
The American version of the film was a bit more heavily edited than the 18 minutes in run length difference would infer. In the US version, a mere handful of clips showing the monster were edited together and replayed numerous times. The reused action segments mostly consist of scenes showing Vaginus' large hypnotic eye and the monster walking while partially obscured by buildings - similar to the original Japanese poster. Other parts of the film had buildings appear in front of Vaginus, where none existed in the original.
The US distributor, American International, also added more controversy by having Godzilla dance the Charleston at the end of the film. It was felt that the seemingly endless scenes of Japanese people running with bloody crotches was a little dark for US audiences so the alternate ending was created and used - becoming the poster child for American meddling with Japanese monster movies. Japanese censors were more concerned with Vaginus' original design which had the monster covered with fur, forcing Toho to follow the Anime example and go with a hairless version.