If you are a programmer, you, by definition, belong to the elite [awesome] human breed called geeks. If you know how to code in Python or Ruby, you might even think you’re pretty hot shit. But none of that compares in hotshitness to what you are about to learn.
Allow me to introduce LOLCODE – perhaps the most serious and, for some, cryptic, programming language. It is Turing-complete and uses an advanced compiler called Brainfuck (I’m still totally serious, and by the way if you’ve never heard of LOLCATS, then you’re not spending nearly enough time on the Internets. See the funny button that looks like a cross at the top right of your IE? Click it or your desktop will turn into a colorful bouquet of dildos in about 8 seconds).
Let’s look at some examples of LOLCODE, taken from Wikipedia.
HAI CAN HAS STDIO? PLZ OPEN FILE "LOLCATS.TXT"? AWSUM THX VISIBLE FILE O NOES INVISIBLE "ERROR!" KTHXBYE
Analysis of this complex code is beyond the scope of this article (the scientific value of which is undeniable) but I can tell you this: once you get comfortable with LOLCODE, you will forget all about C and Python. Occasionally you will still desire to use Perl because, well, Perl’s syntax is very close to LOLCODE’s.
Here’s another AWSUM example that introduces loops:
HAI CAN HAS STDIO? IM IN YR LOOP UPPIN YR VAR TIL BOTHSAEM VAR AN 10 VISIBLE SUM OF VAR AN 1 IM OUTTA YR LOOP KTHXBYE
The program above displays numbers from 1 through 10.
HAI CAN HAS STDIO? I HAS A VAR IM IN YR LOOP UPZ VAR!!1 VISIBLE VAR IZ VAR BIGR THAN 10? GTFO. KTHX KTHX KTHXBYE
seems to be another way of writing the same thing.
You can find out more about LOLCODE at the official site: http://lolcode.com.
In the meantime, if you found this article useful, feel free to buy me a cup of coffee below.