George dies and goes to hell. He notices one sign that says "Socialist Hell," and another that says "Capitalist Hell."
There's a long line waiting for socialist hell, but no one waiting to get into capitalist hell.
George asks the guard, "What do they do to you in socialist hell?"
"They boil you in oil, whip you, and then put you on the rack," replies the guard.
"And, what do they do to you in capitalist hell?", George asks.
"Same thing," says the guard.
"So then," asks George, "why is everybody in line for socialist hell?"
"Because in socialist hell," the guard explains, "they're always out of oil, whips and racks."