A grandma was showing the children a painting of the Pilgrim Family on a Thanksgiving Day card that they had received and she commented, ‘The Pilgrim children enjoyed going to church with their mothers and fathers and praying to God.’
One of the grandson looked at her doubtfully and asked, ‘Then why is their father carrying that rifle?’
A young boy, after hearing the story of Thanksgiving and how the Indians and the Pilgrims sat down together, climbed up into his father’s lap and said, ‘Daddy, did you know that if we were Indians, you would be a brave and Mom would be a squawk?’
‘That is the best description of your mother I have ever heard’, replied his daddy as he ducked.
Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey?
A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!!
Q: What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
A: Peach gobbler
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert?
A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
A man was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
“No, ma’am. They’re dead.”
Q: What should you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
A: A har-vest!
John: I was going to serve sweet potatoes with Thanksgiving dinner, but I sat on them.
Tom: What are you serving instead?
Q: What vegetables would you like with your Thanksgiving dinner?
A: Beets me!
Q: Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner?
A: No, you should just have the turkey!
A man in Florida, in his 80s, calls his son in New York one November day.
The father says to the son, “I hate to tell you, but we’ve got some troubles here in the house. Your mother and I can’t stand each other anymore, and we’re getting a divorce. I’ve had it! I want to live out the rest of my years in peace. I’m telling you now, so you and your sister shouldn’t go into shock later when I move out.”
He hangs up, and the son immediately calls his sister in the Hamptons and tells her the news.
The sister says, “I’ll handle this.”
She calls Florida and says to her father, “Don’t do ANYTHING till we get there! We’ll be there Wednesday night.”
The father agrees, “All right.”
The old man hangs up the phone and hollers to his wife, “Okay, they’re coming for Thanksgiving. Now, what are we going to tell them for Christmas?”
Q: What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day?
A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day; on Election day, you get a turkey for four years.