America’s newest favorite pastime is making over the deep fried Butterfingers of Jersey Shore. Everyone is trying to de-guido them, but Snooki’s makeover from Inside Edition is the most drastic. They deflated her poof, removed the layers of bronzer off her face with a sandblaster and replaced her Ed Hardy rags with leftovers from Nordstrom Rack. Speaking of that dress, how is she going to flip her crotch on the dancefloor in that thing? Or run when a hippo comes charging at her?
The only thing they couldn’t erase was her duckface. It’s permanent. You can kill the poof, but you can’t kill the duckface! The day Snooki’s duckface dies is the day MySpace packs up their shit and goes home.
And if you thought Snooki looks like a Cathay Pacific flight attendant who makes strong drinks in the picture above, look at what they did to her here:
They turned her into Tiger Woods’ mom!!!!! Actually, that’s an improvement because Tiger’s mom is made of poly-blend silk and elegance.