On the metal-o-meter, Christmas ranks pretty low. Yes, there’s the possibility of dark and icy nights, but then there’s the whole Bing Crosby crooning thing that is fairly incompatible with metal. Sweetness and light is all well and good, but there’s not a lot of thrashing to be done in a rendition of “Hark the Herald Angels Sing.” Luckily, the inventive minds behind metal bands both popular and obscure have combined Christmas cheer with some bonkers guitar shredding, to populate our list of twisted metal holiday anthems. Have yourself a totally sick Christmas, why don’t you?
“Jingle Bells” by Skid Row
Dashing through the snow, open sleigh, laughing, blah blah blah. You know the drill. Except for Skid Row’s sleigh is made of EVIL. And there is no horse because the sleigh is propelled only by METAL. And also, there are no bells, only skulls. And the sleigh is used to murder pedestrians. But otherwise, you know, the same.