In a statement from Buckingham Palace Prince Philip has outlined his desired funeral arrangements.
'I feel so like the South African leader Nelson Mandela, who has recently died' the statement begins 'We have both reached a similar age, Mandela spent 26 years in prison whereas my sentence has been twice as long. We have both had troubles with our families but I, like Mandela, have forgiven those who have let us down.'
The statement then goes on to 'forgive my son Charles for marrying Diana' and forgives 'Harry for not looking like his father'.
'Like Madiba - a title used by Mandela very similar to the Duke of Edinburgh - I am keen on sport. His passion is Rugby, mine is Horses, together we have demonstrated how fair play is jolly good for people.'
'On race we are on the same path - I helped my wife with the multi ethnic Commonwealth whilst Madiba helped to establish the modern multi ethnic South Africa.'
The Duke then mentioned 'some differences' in their upbringings but emphasised the fact that they had both 'gone through many trials' to achieve their goals.
The Queen has let it be known that she wants to follow the Duke's every wish. As she told Spoof exclusively 'the Duke knew it didn't mean a thing if it didn't have that swing.'