Apparently not. Lately there have been quite a few items I've read that give me the huzz. I've been walking around in a state of constant huzzness.
The first is people who swallow parasitic worms in order to lose weight. I read an article about it, then someone sent me an email with old ads and there was one in there. What the heck? How could anyone be so desperate as to voluntarily introduce a batch of worms that can grow up to 15 inches in your intestines (or pancreas, or lungs)?
I remember a friend whose cat had a bad case of worms. Every time she lifted her tail, you could see them playing peek-a-boo from her anus. They'd pop out and wave "hi" for a second and then pop back in. It took a long LONG time for me to visit my friend's house after that.
Good Lord, my butt is itching just thinking about it. 'Scuse me for a minute.
The second has to do with eyeballs again. I found the commercial that scares the crap out of me on YouTube. They've been playing it a lot lately.
Anyway, I was reading an article about a fisherman in Britain who hooked a deadly giant snakehead fish which is not indigenous to the continent, because they're usually found in Asia. Apparently they eat just about anything (including people), can hop around a bit on land, and live for up to 4 days out of the water. I suppose any "normal" person would say, "Holy Crap, look at those teeth!" when they look at the picture.
Not me. My first words were, "OMFG, look at those EYEBALLS! AAAAAAAIIIGGHHHHHH!!"
This last one is one of those ideas that look good on paper, but freak me out in a "what could go wrong" kind of way. Remember when I wrote about the scientists who grew a replacement penis on some guy's arm?
Scientists in Australia are developing a radio-controlled vasectomy, which involves silicone implants that expand to block the flow of sperm. I guess in theory, it seems like a workable idea, because there really ARE no long-term birth control devices for men.
On the other hand, I have visions of it getting WAY out of control. What if some car manufacturer accidentally programs their remote car key chains to the same frequency? Some poor doof in the Home Depot parking lot could be trying to open the trunk of his Hummer to load it with fertilizer and inadvertently set the weasels jumping in the trousers of half the men in a 3-block radius.
Or what about at the beach? Some kid with a remote-control lil' dune buggy could start a riot. Creepy men who wear speedos is bad enough. Creepy men wearing undulating speedos is enough to make the wimmins race like lemmings into the surf face first to drown themselves. Or make them bleed from the eyeballs.
Gonna go scrub my brain now before it explodes.
I got my rantipants on about bad parenting over on Disaboom if you feel like stopping by...