The basics: Why Have Kids? A New Mom Explores the Truth About Parenting and Happiness is more true to its subtitle than its title. Valenti combines her own experience as a new mom with research to convey the realities of modern parenthood, including the negative parts.
My thoughts: I have clear answers to the question "why have kids?" and its opposite. In the pro column, I believe our child would make the world a better place, whether it be in a large or small way. In the con column, there's the cost, emotionally and financially. I know Mr. Nomadreader and I would be happy taking either track in life; both options would allow us to do things we couldn't do otherwise, and both will leave us feel as though we're missing out. Both would be good choices, and I expected Why Have Kids? to dive into the complicated intellectual and emotional arguments for and against having a child. It didn't. Instead, Why Have Kids? is a manifesto for reforming policies, practices, and behavior relating to parenthood.
Thanks to Amazon, I know I highlighted no less than 46 passages in Why Have Kids? Even for me, that's a lot. So despite my assertion that Why Have Kids? is mistitled, it is a fascinating read that addresses what parenthood looks like in the United States today. Admittedly, Valenti speaks from a place of privilege, both economically and educationally. I speak from the same place, and am a similar age, so I connected with this book immensely.
Favorite passage: "While thousands of studies show that breastfed babies are healthier on average than formula-fed babies, none of this research has shown that it’s actually the breastfeeding that leads to better health. Moms who have the time and support to exclusively breastfeed—remember my five-hour-a-day pumping sessions?—may be more likely and able to support their children’s health in other ways...The only real benefit that has been proven to be a direct result of breast milk, Wolf said, is that babies who are nursed have fewer gastrointestinal issues. But higher IQs? Increased immunity? Not so much."
The verdict: Why Have Kids? does not answer its own titular question, and I fear that may keep it from finding its audience. What this book does is present an intimate portrait of modern feminist motherhood and a manifesto about improving how we view motherhood and parenthood: improving policies, valuing women as people, and encouraging parents not to do it all themselves.
Rating: 4 out of 5
Length: 205 pages
Publication date: September 4, 2012
Convinced? Treat yourself! Buy Why Have Kids? from an independent bookstore, the Book Depository or Amazon (Kindle edition.)
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