Conservatives give the doofus a bad name. People with hard hearts just don’t think straight. Consider global warming. The right wing (read big business) denies the possibility of global warming. Think about the consequences. No global warming, no bikinis. That’s right, nokinis.
The first bikini, by the way, was found on Minoan cave paintings dating around 1600 B.C. Prudery was born with the fall of the Roman Empire. During the Middle Ages, conservatives would tell you swimming was unhealthy. To this day, the right wing is opposed to health care reform.
Speaking of global warming, some 4,500 climate studies were published in 2007, more than triple the total from a decade earlier. Yet the scientists have been unable to convince the captains of industry to reduce emissions. Sigh (but not too deeply – unhealthy).
Recall the sweet canard about how a Kansas butterfly flapping its wings can cause a typhoon on the other side of the world. Now comes the notion that seawater flowing around and through a jellyfish can affect ocean currents. A guy named Charles Darwin came up with that one. He’s the grandson of the earlier trouble-maker.
Where was I? Oh yes, conservatives are such doofuses …
(If you are still reading, take note: this post marks my 500th. Clink!)