To the Editor:
“Raising a Moral Child,” by Adam Grant (Sunday Review, April 13), does not mention the important relation between an infant’s attachment needs and the development of empathy.
Manipulating the behavior of 8-year-old children is a pathetic substitute for the real effort required to raise a compassionate human being. Optimal brain development is a basic prerequisite for raising moral children.
There is a sensitive, critical period in the first few years of life during which the circuitry in the brain is developing. Parental behavior affects the course of that development. For instance, there is a relationship between both breast-feeding and maternal care in infancy and the expression of empathy in toddlers.
Rather than “tactics” and manipulative strategies at a later stage of development, the real need is for an investment of parental care in the earliest years of life: sensitive, responsive care during the critical years of brain development. This is the foundation of both the healthy development of individuals and of a moral society.
PAUL F. KLEIN
Calgary, Alberta, April 13, 2014
The writer is a retired psychologist.
To the Editor:
Why does it always have to be either-or? Between effort and ability the clear choice has to be effort, but ability must not be ignored.
There has to be a realization drilled into every child that ability is a process that takes years to build. But we as parents tend to shower the maximum praise after every effort. This creates a phony overconfidence at a time when the foundation for one’s long-term self-image is being formed.
When praising ability, care must be taken not to tell the child every time that he is the best; he must be told that he is on the right track for becoming the best.
Champions like Tiger Woods are created with an emphasis on effort, and a reminder that the ability will come only after lots and lots of practice.
In the meantime every effort is rewarded with a “you did fine for today, and you will get there if you keep it up like this.”
Ridgefield Park, N.J., April 13, 2014
The writer is president of the 4th R Foundation, an education research organization.