Like A 0.00220462 Pound Cracker
Of course, in Europe, they call it a uComfy Shiatsu Heated 0.3048 Meter Massager.
Imagine how hard it must be for the average European. All that walking and bicycle riding they do, surely they feel tired when they get home to take their shoes off! And yet, due to the machinations of the Illuminati, all they can do is attempt to massage their tired 0.3048 Meters. And what good would that do? Nothing!
Meanwhile, here in America, we can all give our American FEET a comfortable massage, relieving pressure across the top and the bottom of the foot, which is exactly where pressure tends to build after a long day of switching from the gas pedal to the break pedal during a pass through the drive-thru. Whew! Exhausting!
Pity those poor Europeans. Their 0.3048 Meters will never be as well massaged as an American's feet.