Animals are so fucking stupid. They can’t talk, they can’t do math, they can’t read. All they can do is eat and shit and kill each other and rape other animals. They’re terrible. The Dirty Frenchman knows this. That’s why we need to start abusing animals more. Poke a fox in the eye. Start spreading terrible rumours about a bear’s cousin. Pee in a fucking cat’s cornflakes. Make a difference. Together we can change the world. Oh look.
This one sounds like you took a fucking bath in a vat of lava in The Bronx:
This one sounds like your locked eyes with a chick during a magic show on a Carnival cruise and then later you tried to find her at the club on the boat but she wasn’t there and you had to masturbate that night:
This one sounds like you did shrooms at a club in Baltimore and you are reconsidering every choice you ever made from the second you were born:
And never forget: