The Jay Leno Pop Quiz
India is in outrage over Jay Leno’s satirical remark on US TV that ‘Mitt Romney’s summer home is the Golden Temple’. It was probably just a simple pun on the name of the shrine, coupled with the fact that Mitt Romney is unusually rich. However, the Golden Temple is definitely not about huge displays of wealth, and Leno’s arguments are definitely out of line.
So here’s a list of questions that make up a pop quiz I’ve set for Jay Leno. What’s special about this pop quiz? The answer is simple - if Jay Leno were to answer it using the same level of informedness, (un)funniness and literal-mindedness he displayed yesterday, he would score a perfect zero. Here it goes - will you score a perfect 15?
1. What is the Bollywood movie Daag about?
A. Sanjay Dutt being violent
B. Don’t remember, I fell asleep
C. The Fire
2. Which is the top ranked B-school in India?
A. The Indian School of Business
B. One of the Indian Institutes of Management
3. Which past/present Indian cricketer had/has the best physique of all?
A. Yuvraj Singh
B. Ishant Sharma
C. Venkatapathy Raju (after all, he was called Muscles)
D. Anyone else
4. Who/what does Mayawati care about, above all else?
A. The people of Uttar Pradesh
C. Her statues
D. Becoming Prime Minister
5. Which is Inzamam Ul Haq’s favourite mountain range in India?
A. God alone knows
B. He doesn’t have one
C. Everest, because it describes what he used to do when called for a run
6. What is the main job of Pakistan’s ISI?
A. Maintaining the security of the Pakistani homeland
B. Spreading terrorism in India
7. Which is the oldest cricket ground in the world?
C. Eden Gardens, because the first man and woman lived there
8. Which is the home of communism in India?
A. Kerala (OK, maybe not any more)
B. West Bengal (OK, definitely not any more)
C. Jawaharlal Nehru University
D. Red Fort
9. Which Indian city were Vincent Van Gogh, Kim Jong Il and Idi Amin actually from?
A. None, because they weren’t Indian
10. Who killed Jessica?
A. No one
B. Manu Sharma
11. Why is Charlie Sheen like the Indian cricket team?
A. He’s not
B. Both of them would like to be winning, and are actually not
12. Which is Tiger Woods’ favourite place in India?
A. Bandipur National Park
B. God knows
13. What do you get if a person of indeterminate gender dressed in a sari blesses you?
A. High marks in examinations
B. Success in business
C. Married to an extremely beautiful/handsome person of the opposite sex within a month
D. A little poorer
14. What are the benefits of spinach?
A. It gives your body iron
B. It keeps you healthy if you eat it every day
C. Eating it keeps your parents happy when you’re small
D. It transforms you into a super-strong sailor with suspiciously thick forearms
15. When will the world end?
A. After World War 4
B. After the sun burns up in 5 billion years
C. 2012. I mean, there’s a movie about it and the Mayans calculated it and everything
Do you have any more PJs that are worthy of inclusion in this crazy pop quiz? If so, do let us know in the Comments Section.