By Kate Naseef, USA TODAY
After the shooting deaths of five Amish girls a year ago today in Nickel Mines, Pa., the Amish community offered forgiveness for the shooter and his family. USA TODAY talked with Steve Nolt, who co-wrote the new book Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy (Jossey Bass, $24.95), about what America could learn from the Amish.
Q: What did you learn about the Amish understanding and practice of forgiveness while you were writing this book?
A: One of the main things I learned was how central forgiveness is to Amish theology and really to their whole values system.
The Amish believe in a real sense that God's forgiveness of them is dependent on their extending forgiveness to other people.
ONE YEAR LATER: Amish grapple with new normal
Their understanding of forgiveness is embedded in their culture and their history — their 500-year history that includes martyrs that did not seek revenge but asked for forgiveness for their persecutors. In one sense, this is part of their cultural DNA.
Their understanding of forgiveness is that it is a long process, that it is difficult, that it is painful, that replacing bitter feelings toward someone is something that takes time, and they would say that happens only through God's grace. But they begin with expressing their intention to forgive, with the faith that the emotional forgiveness will follow over months and years. They don't begin with trying to blame someone or something.
Q: What are some examples of how the Amish showed their forgiveness after the shootings?
A: The Amish verbally expressed their forgiveness to the memory of the killer. They refused to talk badly about him or degrade his character. They reached out to his family as fellow victims; they wanted to extend compassion to his family. Half of the people who attended his funeral were Amish.
The Amish also designated a portion of the fund that poured in from around the world for the Amish schoolgirls to the widow and the children of the shooter.
Q: What can Americans learn from the Amish understanding of forgiveness as it was expressed after the Nickel Mines shooting?
A: Even though forgiveness is a complicated and difficult thing, if we approach it with the support of other people — the Amish do everything in community, including their grieving — and if we don't feel like we have to have all the emotions sorted out before we extend compassion, the road to forgiveness is easier. Reaching out in compassion to others in the faith that the difficult emotional work will follow, I think, is one of the things that they demonstrate.
In our world today, religion is so often used as a force for division, and here is an example of religion being used for compassion and healing.
Q: Have there been other instances when the community has made a similar outpouring?
A: There have been quite a few examples. There have been many cases in which the Amish people have been victims of crime, including murder, or victims of negligence, in which they have responded in similar ways. One week before the school shooting, there was a young Amish boy who was killed along the side of the road by a driver. It was a hit-and-run, and the boy's family said: Whoever this is, we want to extend our forgiveness, and we would like them to come and visit us so we can tell them in person. And the person read that in the paper and did go and visit them.
Conversation guidelines: USA TODAY welcomes your thoughts, stories and information related to this article. Please stay on topic and be respectful of others. Keep the conversation appropriate for interested readers across the map.