Coaching Call #092 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: He’s Totally Overwhelmed, Stressed and Lonely.
Every once in a while I do a call that’s really more of a mixed bag. We covered A LOT of ground on this one, from setting boundaries (from a man’s perspective this time, but applicable to everyone as usual), to dealing with total overwhelm, letting go of fears of repeating past patterns and finally, creating a relationship that’s miles ahead of what he’s experienced thus far.
Seriously, the epiphanies just kept flying on this one. If you’re stressed, overwhelmed, stuck or lonely, or if you just want to get a much deeper understanding of how the Law of Attraction works, this call is for you.
Awesome Nicole’s Burning Question: “What do you do if someone spews negative thoughts and words into the universe ABOUT YOU? My husband’s friend has a highly caustic wife. She is unhappy with the friendship (or ‘bromance’ even) and has made that clear to both men on various occasions… but we recently discovered that she has been slandering my husband’s character in particularly nasty ways. Ways that could even put our family under scrutiny.
How do we combat the negative arrows that others may shoot into the universe? Does raising our own vibration make us immune to these attacks?”
Dear Awesome Nicole,
Here’s your video answer:
Watch the video directly on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifZ_6mjaoDE
For the “readers” amongst you. You know who you are…
You either believe that you create your own reality, or you don’t. You can’t half-ass it. If you create your own reality, and you do, then you have to accept that everything that happens to you is there for a reason. Whenever you have a negative manifestation, it’s only there to get your attention, to show you that you have a belief that isn’t serving you.
To find that belief, the question you always want to ask yourself is: “How does this incident or event make me feel?”
Let me give you a little hint on this one: This involves a fear of powerlessness, that other people have more power over your reality than you do. So, this woman has come into your reality to get your attention. Because, you know, nothing gets your attention quite like some psycho bitch talking smack about you.
Why do people talk smack?
Why does someone do this? Well, believe it or not, she’s feeling powerless herself, and is trying to tear you down so she can feel better. But you don’t have to let her. The more you let her, the bigger she’ll become in your reality, the less you let her, the more she’ll begin to gravitate out of your reality.
It’s about boundaries
This is essentially about setting boundaries. Sometimes, setting boundaries is about confronting people and standing up for yourself. I wouldn’t advise that in this case. If you did that, you’d just be playing her game. You’re better than that.
In a case like this, setting boundaries is more about not giving your power away to others. And right now, you’re giving this woman an enormous amount of power.
Think of reality like a video game, one that’s created just for you. There are other players, but they can only interact with you and your reality to the extent that your player’s rules allow them to. That means, if your virtual neighbor keeps letting his virtual dog poop all over your virtual lawn, you must have some rule in your game that you don’t know about that invites him to do that. Reality is just like that. If you have a belief that isn’t serving you, some helpful virtual psycho bitch will come into your world to mirror that belief back to you.
So, when you give this woman the power to influence your world, it’s like you deciding to live your life according to what the microwave tells you to do. Or the TV. Or a Youtube video.
So, how do you start to feel better about this whole issue?
Step 1: Get some perspective. She can talk smack about you all she wants, but whether or not people believe her actually says more about them than her or you. Your belief is basically saying that everyone you know is a total idiot who will believe anything they hear. Chances are, that’s not actually true. But if it is, why the hell are you hanging out with a bunch of douchebags?
Give the people you know some credit. If they don’t give you the benefit of the doubt and believe anything negative they hear about you, they’re not people you want to hang out with anyway. Allow yourself to imagine that whenever she’s saying something derogatory about you, the people she’s talking to are looking at her like she’s an idiot. Take it step further and see them defending you. Spend several minutes a day doing this until you feel well and truly better.
Step 2: Take away her power. Imagine this woman and shrink her down to just a few inches tall. Then, turn her into a cartoon character, something small and cute and harmless. Give her a cartoony voice. Then, have her say all the stuff she’s been saying about you in that voice. There’s no way you can keep taking her seriously in that getup. Go ahead and have fun with this one. The sillier you are, the less power you give her.
Examples of silliness: Flicking her off your hand, flinging her out the window, squashing her under your shoe.
Now, I know that some of you are thinking, “Wait a minute! I thought we weren’t supposed to have negative emotions?” Please understand that negative emotion is simply an indicator that you have a limiting belief. The belief causes the emotion, not the other way around. When you suppress a feeling, you’re actually suppressing the awareness of that emotion. When you shift a belief from a lower, negative feeling frequency to a higher, better feeling frequency, energy is released. This energy often presents itself as emotions which have to be let out. You let them out by feeling them. You are not perpetuating a negative situation by feeling your emotions. It’s actually quite the opposite of that.
This brings me to Step number 3: Get emotional. Allow yourself to feel anger or any other emotion that comes up. You can even do some anger releasing exercises such as writing this woman a letter that you’ll never send, imagining this woman is in the room with you and telling her off, physically releasing anger by punching couch cushions or running, or, as already stated, beating up on her cartoon self.
Now, if you do this right, you’ll feel a whole lot better.
What other people say about you is completely irrelevant. What’s important is HOW YOU REACT. Take back your power.
And if you must give your power to anyone, give it to me. You’re a magnificent person and so is your husband. Now, show this blog to everyone you know that’s susceptible to other people’s opinions and tell them that my opinion matters more than hers. Because I’m on Youtube. Is she on Youtube? I didn’t think so.