Dale Carnegie (1888-1955) was born in Missouri, USA and was educated at Warrensburg State Teachers College. As a salesman and aspiring actor; he traveled to New York and began teaching communications classes to adults at the YMCA.
He authored several best-sellers, including How to Win Friends and Influence People and How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. Over 50 million copies of Mr. Carnegie’s books have been printed and published in 38 languages.
Mr. Carnegie was a prominent lecturer of his day and a sought-after counselor to world leaders. He wrote newspaper columns and had his own daily radio show. Dale Carnegie founded what is today a worldwide network of over 2,800 trainers with offices in more than 75 countries.
The following are the Golden Rules on How to Win Friends and Influence People and How to Stop Worrying and Start Living set out by Dale Carnegie :
I. Become a Friendlier Person
1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest, sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
4. Become genuinely interested in other people.
6. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
8. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
9. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Win People to Your Way of Thinking
10. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
11. Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
12. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
13. Begin in a friendly way.
14. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
15. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
16. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
17. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
18. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
19. Appeal to the nobler motives.
20. Dramatize your ideas.
21. Throw down a challenge.
Be a Leader
22. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
23. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
24. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
25. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
26. Let the other person save face.
27. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
28. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
29. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
30. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
II. Basic Techniques in Analyzing Worry
1. Get all the facts.
2. Weigh all the facts — then come to a decision.
3. Once a decision is reached, act!
4. Write out and answer the following questions:
- What is the problem?
- What are the causes of the problem?
- What are the possible solutions?
- What is the best possible solution?
Fundamental Principles for Overcoming Worry
1. Live in “day tight compartments.”
2. How to face trouble:
- Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can possibly happen?”
- Prepare to accept the worst.
- Try to improve on the worst.
3. Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health.
Break the Worry Habit Before It Breaks You
1. Keep busy.
2. Don’t fuss about trifles.
3. Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries.
4. Cooperate with the inevitable.
5. Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth and refuse to give it more.
6. Don’t worry about the past.
Cultivate a Mental Attitude that will Bring You Peace and Happiness
1. Fill your mind with thoughts of peace, courage, health and hope.
2. Never try to get even with your enemies.
3. Expect ingratitude.
4. Count your blessings — not your troubles.
5. Do not imitate others.
6. Try to profit from your losses.
7. Create happiness for others.
The Perfect Way to Conquer Worry
Prevent Fatigue and Worry and Keep Your Energy and Spirits High
1. Rest before you get tired.
2. Learn to relax at your work.
3. Protect your health and appearance by relaxing at home.
4. Apply these four good working habits:
- Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
- Do things in the order of their importance.
- When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make a decision.
- Learn to organize, deputize and supervise.
5. Put enthusiasm into your work.
6. Don’t worry about insomnia.
Don’t Worry about Criticism
1. Remember that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment.
2. Do the very best you can.
3. Analyze your own mistakes and criticize yourself.
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