Parenting After Divorce - A Complete Guide
the wrong skills needed to be effective communicators and problem
solvers in their own lives.
In very high conflict situations independent parenting may be first step or
model that most parents use. Working with a family therapist,
communication or conflict coach, parenting co-ordinator or other professional
can help parents get back on track with communication and positive and
productive interactions with regards to the children.
Parallel parenting is still a limited interaction model between the two parents,
and is the one most often used by parents in the period directly after the
divorce. In parallel parenting both parents work together to achieve the
same goals for their children.
A great way to picture this is to think of a railroad track. Each parent is one
rail of the track, both heading in the same direction to make sure the train
(or child in this case) gets to the same goal destination. Parallel parenting
requires that parents have a common understanding of what each other are
doing in their respective household with regards to the kids, and they ensure
that what they are doing is similar. There is limited interaction or
communication between parents, but children have predictability, structure
and routine through their parenting time with both Mom and Dad.
Often parents that are using a parallel parenting model will have a written
parenting plan, which is a document that outlines the various aspects of
raising their children. Parenting plans will include details of the children's
lives such as parenting time schedules (access and visitation in legal terms),
routines, discipline, medical issues, supervision, and extra financial