Marcy Meffert: Whiling away the hours on a sleepless night
Published 9:34 am, Thursday, September 8, 2011
Decisions, Decisions. What to do at midnight when you can't fall asleep?
A thousand damnations on that 5 o'clock cup of caf-coffee. What were you thinking? What's that? You weren't thinking. You should stop thinking and go to sleep. Thinking when you are tired can get you into trouble.
Switch on the TV. Jimmy Kimmel sure is funny; maybe if they'd put him on instead of Conan, but then what about Jay? What about Headlines and Jaywalking? What about reading a book instead of TV? You have only two chapters left; finish it off. You'll sleep when the page gets blurry and your eyes won't focus.
Why not reorganize your shoes? Why not reorganize the whole closet? You did that the last time you couldn't sleep, and you still can't find your black jeans. You are too tired; reorganize something else but not something breakable; you drop things when you're this tired. Can a person be too tired to sleep?
So it's 1:30 a.m. now, and you're still wide awake. You could hang some pictures on the wall. People who live in apartments can't pound nails at this hour; what a dumb idea. Make a cup of tea and finish the book. Tea has caffeine; you don't need caffeine. Make a mug of Ovaltine. Finish the last two chapters of the book.
Now it's 2 a.m. Find your new Nook; it has that book on Cleopatra you plan to read. What if it's not charged? Electronic books are a great idea. No need to go to bookstores, no need to go to the library, no need to find more bookshelves. You need to remember to charge the darned thing.
Now it's 2:30 a.m. The world is sound asleep, and you are not. Cheers re-runs are on at this time of night. Frazier still has all of his hair. Sam Malone still has his bar where everyone knows your name. Norm is still on his bar stool. Time is standing still. Where were we living when Cheers was on for its first round? Who cares?
I may write a column for an early deadline. Will it make any sense? Will any reader relate to sleepless nights? Where did I read that seniors sleep less and need less sleep as they get older? Betty White says that she stays up late, needs less than five hours of sleep, and look at her energy. But she has a pro do her makeup. Maybe she has dark circles under her eyes; we just can't see them.
Stop looking at the clock. Turn off the TV, computer and yourself. Go to bed. Close your eyes. Stop thinking. Will you have the nerve to send in a column on your sleeplessness? Why not? Surely other people are wandering around in the wee hours of the morning counting minutes instead of sheep. Try counting backward from 100 by sevens. Why didn't you think of that? It's worked before.
Write to Marcy Meffert at P.O. Box 680262, Leon Valley, TX 78268 or email firstname.lastname@example.org. To read previous columns, go online to www.mySA.com.