There are still some typos here and there, but it's definitely improving! I like how he considered various methods of escaping, and how Andrew was burning himself because he was all nervous and jumpy was a nice touch! It'll be interesting to see them fight through to their ship, so keep it up!
The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers
-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan
[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief