Do you ever find yourself looking at the things on your to-do list and stressing out because you "need to" do this, you "have to" do that, and you "must" get the other thing done?
If you do, you're a prime candidate for stress reduction - just by eliminating those words from your vocabulary. What happens when you start saying, "I have to," etc.? Here's a quick snip from an article that explores the idea further:
You've just created a lot of demands on yourself. And yes, in order for your life to continue like you want, you would prefer to do all those things exactly as you have envisioned. But you don't NEED to, HAVE-TO or MUST.
By using demanding statements on yourself, you open up a lot of opportunities to say irrational things to yourself that create stress.
When you use demanding statements, you then create a scenario of "what-if" in your head. And when the "what-if's" back-up, then watch out stress level!
"What if I don't get it done, what if I don't get there in time to get the kids, what if this, what if that." This is when you really go into stress mode!
Asking such open-ended questions is the origin much of your stress. You often answer with "that would be awful, that would be terrible" which compounds the stressful feelings even more.
Since awful and terrible are labels way beyond bad, (actually labels that are beyond definition) you've created a situation in your head that ends up with you saying to yourself "?and I couldn't stand it if that happened," or "?I couldn't stand feeling that way!"
You can see how that could start to spiral. So what do you do about it? Here's what the article suggests:
First, flag such have-to, must, need-to statements in your head. Then replace the needs, musts and have-tos with preferences, desires, and wants.
Then when something doesn't go according to your desires, reduce the awfuls and terribles to simply, bad. Then rest-assure yourself that you can stand it.
What if you don't make it to the bank? What if you're late picking up the kids?? Well, it's not what you wanted, it may indeed even have consequences which may be bad, but in the overall scheme of things it isn't awful and you CAN stand it.
...Remember: whenever you hear yourself saying "need-to, have-to, got-to, etc" replace it with want-to or would like to. Substitute needs with desires; musts with preferences.
Brought to you by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst TM