In our house we try to model good behavior, review rules and the reasons for them, discuss emotions and why we feel certain ways (we do this alot with characters in books). We also discuss the reasons for discipline and how timeouts, removal of priviledges, etc could have been avoided (I give hugs and tell my kids I love them after the have received a consequence to let them know even though I didn't like their behavior I still love them). We try hard to praise the kids for things they have done well or things they have put effort into. We have good days and we have bad days, but I know at least some of it is sinking in when I hear my son talk about things that happened at school, my daughter praise us for things we have done, and when a reminder to make a good decision prompts them to ask about what will happen if they choose "X" or "Y". Good luck to you.!