In "Would-be robbery victim fights back" the writer writes, "Police said he had a dark bandana covering a portion of his face, police said." When you said "free of errors," I doubt this is what you had in mind, huh, Dr. Jerz? Redundant? Obviously this reporter and his/her editor were rushing to publish the article by Sunday morning. I do see a lot of detail included, despite how short the story is, and the exact time is saved for the second paragraph rather than put into the lead. The robbery occuring less than 24 hours before publication makes the time substantial, I assume.
I do have a question about the "serial-coma" and when it's necessary in lists? For example, "Would-be robbery victim fights back" writer uses it:
The would-be robber is described as having dark eyes and dark hair, wearing a tossel cap, shorts, dark socks, and "skater-style shoes."
But Paul Paterra in "Plea deal reached in Jeannette enslavement, kidnap case" uniformly does not:
Jonathan Pollard was charged with rape, involuntary deviate sexual Intercourse, sexual assault, unlawful restraint, false imprisonment, interference with the custody of children, aggravated assault, simple assault, corruption of minors, terroristic threats, recklessly endangering another person and criminal conspiracy.
Would the first example be too confusing without it because of the quotation marks?
Additionally, I was confused about the enslavement article's statement as to not giving out victim names; afterwhich, they provide the full name, location and age of the victim in the proceeding paragraph. Anyone?