There has been a lot of research about whether rich people are happier. Generally, the answer is yes. It doesn't take a doctorate to figure out that leisure, comfort and the ability to do what you like are pleasant ways to live.
But other studies have found that this maxes out at about $75,000 for a single person per year: Once you're earning that much, money's not going to buy you any more happiness. This goes along with my own theory, culled from watching rich people spend their money, that you need enough to have food and shelter without stress. After that, it's a free-for-all.
What you never think about when you're playing the lottery is that too much money can be a burden.
I saw a documentary called "The Curse of the Lottery" that showed winners who self-destructed after they won millions. Their daily routine – i.e. get up and haul your rear end to work – was suddenly interrupted and they couldn't adjust.
Their families also suffered: Kids who couldn't afford drugs beforehand became addicts, couples who'd been married for 30 years divorced. Hopefully, the person who just won $12 million last week at an AM PM market in Garden Grove won't fall victim to the curse.
And the moral of the story is: Don't play the lottery. Or if you do, give me your winnings. And keep in mind that bumper sticker you see around town: "The lottery: A tax on people who can't do math."
I don't talk about this often because it was a long time ago, but I used to help handle money for celebrities. I worked for one of the more famous business management firms in Beverly Hills, which paid the bills and generally held the hands of all sorts of music and entertainment clients.
You never knew who was going to walk into the lobby – members of bands like the Go-Go's, KC & the Sunshine Band, the Fifth Dimension, the Police and actors like Linda Gray of "Dallas," as well as producers and directors. The firm had clients like Barbra Streisand, Neil Diamond and Neil Young.
My first day on the job, I was depositing a half-million-dollar royalty check for a celebrity, and writing a personal check for $35,000 to buy a new turbo Saab, and I remember thinking, "Who are these people? Why do they get to have all this money when I'm eating potatoes every night and living behind an alley?"
I'd grown up poor, reading novels about people with money who played squash, and always wishing I could be one.
The interesting thing was – once I was around money all day long, seeing the excesses of the stars, I no longer envied them. Did anyone really need to buy 200 pairs of shoes in one day? And would it really keep you from missing your husband, who'd just walked out on you?
A mansion is more lonely than a shack when you live there by yourself. And some stars owned mansions they never visited.
Having all that money meant endless opportunities for people to rip you off. Celebrities have to trust other people to manage their money, and they're not all honest.
It also becomes impossible to tell who actually likes you and wants to be your friend versus who just wants to mooch off your largesse.
That's why celebrities with money tend to hang around with other rich people, because at least they can feel like they're less likely to rip them off or be sycophants. Or they just accept the sycophants and pay people to keep them from being lonely.
The problem with that is, if you lose your money for some reason – your album doesn't sell, your brother-in-law doesn't run your studio right – you suddenly can't keep up with the lifestyle.
When you're rich, you can't stop at Vons and buy a bunch of daisies for someone's birthday.
You have to go to Harry Finley's Flower Fashions and spend $200 on a bouquet, or else you're tacky and insulting.
You can't drive a 1999 Jetta. People would laugh. Your son wants a Porsche for his 16th birthday, like all the other rich kids. You give in, even if you think it's a bad idea.
I actually briefly dated a guy who bucked this rule. Even though he'd written a hit movie and string of TV shows, he defiantly kept driving his old car and living in a modest home. Finally, he traded in the car, because he couldn't take the teasing. Last I heard, he got sick of the business entirely and is now a psychotherapist.
When your money runs out – and believe me, it often does – then you're worse off than you were before. You know what it's like to live in luxury. You've long since lost most of the friends who actually liked you for you.
You're so accustomed to having people do things for you, you've forgotten how to walk your own dog or pick up your dry cleaning. Your new rich friends desert you, because you can't jet off to ski with them in Gstaad anymore.
The happiest rich person for whom I worked during those years was an heiress to a large fortune. She could have spent every day shopping on Rodeo Drive and lunching at Mr. Chow.
But instead, she'd earned a doctorate and spent her time teaching women in prison to be self-sufficient.
Instead of lounging by her pool, every day she drove herself up to the California Institution for Women in Chino, or other such places, and taught women with nothing how to be more successful in life, once they'd served their time.
She lived in a nice house in a ritzy canyon, but it wasn't showy or opulent. She bought what she liked, but she didn't spend much time shopping.
She'd found the secret – that no matter how much money you have, you still need something to do that gives you a rewarding life.
So you can get up in the morning and say, "I'm doing something that matters today and I feel good about it."
That is something that money can't buy. When my teenage children are ready to find careers, I hope this is what I can teach them.
If you do what you love, you'll be successful in life. And that has nothing to do with money.
Contact the writer: 714-796-7994 or email@example.com
Why not read more Frumpy Middleaged Mom? It’s 42% better than real life:
- What kids can learn from Grand Theft Auto
- The Boy Scouts of America have a problem--but it isn't gays
- Mapping the teenage brain
- Wish you were rich? Well, maybe you should consider this
- Helping others is good for you, too
- Why parents let their teenagers drive
- Hey, Antiques Roadshow, I've got some old stuff for you
- These teammates are still winners, even in a losing season
- Who wins the thermostat wars in your house?
- Putting the brakes on a wannabe teenage driver
- The black hole of Christmas gifts
- I'd like to flip my lid--if I could find it
- 12 reasons to have a dog instead of a kid
- My garage reminds me of a slasher film
- The space shuttle is quieter than my kids
- I accidentally became the team mom
- I'm scared of airport security
- My 2013 realistic New Year's resolutions
- What are your kids smoking?
- Parents: Save your sanity. Join my group
- Women who torture themselves with shoes
- My family's morals are better than yours
- I quit being my kids' maid
- Why do teenagers like the cinnamon challenge?
- Buddy the Wonder Dog strikes again
- 10 things I wish I knew about teenagers
- Want a dog? Fill out this 87 page form and empty your wallet
- Happiness is contagious, infect someone today
- Sorry this isn’t funny, but I have a cold
- Want your kids to do chores? Go back to bed.
- Top 10 reasons it’s good to be broke at Christmas
- Mommy, I’m still in your uterus, but can I have a cellphone?
- Grocery shopping as a recreational sport
- Cheerleading Is Not A Sport
- Home appraisers can bite my butt
- After a half-century wait, U.S. cruise leaves Miami for Cuba
- Slideshow: Disneyland visitors dress batty and dapper on the same day
- Luke Walton's heart is in L.A.
- 'Double agent?' A rift over how real estate is bought and sold reaches the California Sup
- Garden Grove driver, 19, dies after crashing into wall, telephone pole