SHOUTS & MURMURS about lazy babies. Question: Why don't more babies work? Excuse me, did I say more? I meant, why don't any babies work? After all, there are millions of babies around, and most of them appear to be extremely underemployed. There are so many jobs--being commissioner of major-league baseball, say, or running the snack concession at the Olympic synchronized-swimming venue--and yet it seems that babies never fill them. So why aren't babies working? I'll tell you. Walk down any street, and within a minute or so you will undoubtedly come across a baby. The baby will be lounging in a stroller, maybe snoozing, maybe tipping a bottle, maybe futzing around with a stuffed Teddy--whatever. After one good look, it doesn't take a genius to realize that babies are lazy. Or worse. Think of that same baby, same languid posture, same indolent attitude, but now wearing dark sunglasses. You see it all the time. Supposedly, it has to do with UV rays, but the result is that a baby with sunglasses looks not just lazy but lazy and snobby. Sort of like an Italian film producer... Granted, there are some show-biz babies, but their numbers are tiny....everyone knows that babies lose their looks practically overnight... Modeling superbabies? Same.... The one job that babies seem willing and eager to do is stroller-pushing. Well, big deal, since (a) they're actually very bad at it, and (b) am I the only one who didn't get the memo saying that there was a lot of extra stroller-pushing that desperately needed to be done?... One recent summer morning, I walked across Central Park on my way to my own place of employment--where, by the way, I have to be every day whether I want to or not. The Park was filled with babies, all loafing around and looking as happy as clams... As I crossed the playground, weaving among the new leisure class, I realized something. The reason babies don't work? They're too smart.