Looking for new and unusual ways your child can scare the bejeebers out of you? Buy her some new soap crayons then leave the bathroom for a minute. Much cheaper and more time efficient than watching Amityville Horror:
Parenthood requires an honest reframing of one’s spiritual beliefs. Nirvana is reached in that brief moment when the dirty clothes hamper and clean clothes laundry basket are both empty. Nirvana is short-lived, if not unattainable.
If you explain to your child that the reason she’s not in school is because it’s Martin Luther King, Jr’s birthday, be prepared to explain why the hell she wasn’t invited to his party. No fair!
When you are three, and you haven’t had a nap, and you don’t like bubbles in the bath, this constitutes bubbles, and crying is necessary.
Take compliments where you can get ’em; “Mom, you smell hot,” totally counts.