CHICAGO - The Amalgamated Agency of Data Gathering has just come out with a shocking finding regarding everyday household lint.
Agency spokesperson Naomi Belle McDibbing remarked that research studies were recently conducted at Windy City Community College.
The studies showed that unbeknownst to most people lint carries a semi-neutralized enzyme that when mixed with deoxyribonucleic acid could cause a standard sized refrigerator to instantly melt down to the size of a frisbee.
Miss McDibbing stated that lint is actually used in many European countries to ward off evil spirits.
She noted that when it is mixed with one ounce of bourbon, the juice from three purple grapes, half a cup of crushed Kellogg's Special K breakfast cereal, and a teaspoon of salsa picante (hot sauce) it will ward off even the angriest and most vicious evil spirits known to civilized man.
Miss McDibbing noted that during the Vietnam War, the rice farmers in Laos, Cambodia, Thailand, and Vietnam used lint to prevent mosquito bites from becoming the size of martini olives.
SIDENOTE: To learn more about the fascinating world of lint go to www.lintwhowouldhaveknown.wow