Thanks for bringing your question to JustAnswer.
You have been through a lot in your life. You say you get phobias for no reason, but you gave a very good example of how the ring phobia started.
I see that you've tried therapy for over 10 years. Have you ever had EMDR for the trauma of having been abused as a child and a victim of domestic violence.
One of the most terrible results of abuse is the loss of self-esteem and the feeling that "there must be something wrong with me if my parents (and spouse) abused me."
EMDR is very helpful in healing trauma. It works by taking the emotion out of the memory, and taking the blame off ourselves and putting it where it belongs...on the abuser. This can help regain self-esteem and feeling safe in the world.
As a child who was abused, you were probably not allowed to express your feelings of anger, outrage, etc. It sounds like that has continued into the present, and when you feel threatened, you transfer the fear onto an object --which then becomes a phobia. I believe that EMDR could help you feel safe in expressing emotions directly, without having to project them onto an object.
Please look for an EMDR therapist in your area. You can have EMDR and still continue with your current therapist if you want to continue that relationship.
I hope this gives you some hope that relief is possible. Please click ACCEPT if this was helpful. If you need more info, just ask...