Stopping today’s bullies, tomorrow’s abusers
U.S. attorneys across the country are engaging with their communities to raise awareness about bullying. You may be wondering why the Department of Justice’s chief law enforcement officers have taken up this cause. One reason is that today’s bullies are likely to become tomorrow’s hate crime perpetrators. Research suggests that those who bully often become adults who abuse their partners, spouses or children. And the victims of bullying can also become violent. In 12 of 15 school shooting cases in the 1990s, the shooters had a history of being bullied. So when we talk about effectively protecting our children from violence in the home, at school or on the streets, that conversation should include strategies to prevent and eradicate bullying.
Most of us can remember being bullied, harassed or teased during our childhood. But bullying should not be viewed as an inevitable rite of passage. Our kids are entitled to be treated with dignity, confident that they are safe socializing on playgrounds, walking through school hallways and learning in classrooms. And they should feel comfortable accessing Facebook pages and Twitter feeds, secure in the knowledge that these technologies will be ways to reach out to rather than harm one another.
There is a strong connection between bullying and teen suicide. Yale University studies found that bullying victims are two to nine times more likely to commit suicide than non-victims. As an openly gay woman, I am especially aware of the effects of bullying on gay and lesbian teens. All young people need to feel free to be who they are without fear of repercussions and physical and emotional violence. But nine out of 10 lesbian, gay and transgender kids report being bullied at school during the past year due to their sexual orientation. This renders them far more vulnerable to suicide and truancy.
But while statistics are frightening, it is the faces of our youth and their real-time stories that reflect the true toll bullying exacts in our community. I recently partnered with local schools to launch an essay contest that has served as a vehicle for sharing firsthand bullying experiences. The essays give voice to our teen community – to former bullies, family members of victims, and kids who were brought to the brink of suicide by bullying behavior. We heard from kids who walked away, feeling powerless, and others who stepped in to demand change. Their stories are compelling. A sister reported watching as bullies threw a glass bottle at her autistic brother, spit in his bike helmet and taunted him with insults. A young girl, bullied for the crime of repeatedly wearing a favorite red sweater, reached the point where she was terrified to attend school. A teenage boy, who skipped school often to avoid being teased and ostracized for his weight, became apprehensive every time his teacher directed kids to “partner up in twos”; as the teacher struggled to find him a partner, “giggles and whispers filled the room” and “arms never flailed upward.” And yet another teen reported that “the girls’ locker room became a battle zone.” Every day she would decide “to not be myself, because myself wasn’t good enough.” And sadly, many of our students witness bullying every time they log in to Facebook; they see friends become depressed and angry due to cyber-bullies “who feel the need to hide behind a computer to say how they feel.”
But we are not helpless in the face of the bullying crisis. We can help write a new ending to the stories poured out in these essays. Parents can insist on strong bullying prevention policies, learn the warning signs for both bullies and victims, and provide targeted guidance and support. Students can pledge to avoid bullying and serve as role models for kind and compassionate behavior. And they can reject the role of mere bystander by reporting inappropriate conduct or finding nonconfrontational ways to intervene. Schools can make sure they have strong policies, approachable administrators, adequate counseling support, and an effective response to inappropriate conduct. While the long-standing bullying problem will not disappear overnight, we must each make a personal commitment to being part of a collective solution.
Duffy is the U.S. attorney for the Southern District of California.