For six weeks this summer, parents gather in a small meeting room on the fourth floor of the Columbus Center in Great Falls to learn a parenting method called Common Sense Parenting.
Sitting around a table in a room painted celery green with the windows open so the breeze blows through and the sounds of traffic below can be heard, parents and instructor Kimberly Perkins discuss strategies to use positive feedback when raising their children.
Common Sense Parenting, or CSP, is being taught in Great Falls and in communities around the state after Youth Dynamics Inc. received a grant from the Montana Department of Health and Human Services to train staff and offer the class.
Currently, classes are free for participants and are split between parents of school-aged children and toddlers and preschoolers. CSP builds strong relationships among parents and children and modifies behavior by using positive techniques.
The CSP model was developed at Boys Town, a 90-year-old organization that works with at-risk children and their families to develop strong relationships.
“The (Boys Town) model is just so common sense. It puts it in everyday language anyone can understand,” said Shari Morin-Degel, a clinical director at YDI. “It’s fantastic for our staff and our families; anyone can relate to it.”
A recent class looked at ways parents can stay calm when their children do something that triggers their anger. An exercise called for parents to write down what the triggering behaviors are and how they can cope with them.
Then, the lesson moved to corrective teaching — telling the child a behavior is not acceptable, what the consequence is, giving an example of good behavior and practicing for next time.
CSP uses cognitive behavioral therapy, which assumes that thoughts engender feelings, which in turn engender behaviors. Changing thoughts, then, can change feelings and eventually behavior, Morin-Degel explained.
“It’s skill-based, so it’s about teaching the parents skills, and then in turn teaching parents how to teach their children,” she said.
In Perkins’ classroom, an easel holds a flip chart with a list of actions and the skills they teach, with problem behaviors (lying, not following requests), positive behaviors (honesty, doing what is asked) and social skills (being honest, following instructions).
Common Sense Parenting emphasizes praising children for their positive behavior while giving them negative consequences for bad behavior, but not in a punitive or harsh way, explained Perkins, a case/care manager at Youth Dynamics Inc. in Great Falls.
Instead, poor behavior is an opportunity for parents to teach their children rather than discipline them harshly, she said. Those punishments should be used only when other methods have failed, according to CSP curriculum.
Some parents may not be used to giving or getting praise or positive reinforcement, so the class can be as much a learning process for the parents as their children when they implement the lessons at home.
Perkins said that consistency in using the strategies parents learn in class is important to building the desired behaviors in their children. At first, parents might notice their children’s behavior gets worse, but it’s important to continue.
“Parents need to continue with strategies,” she said.
With the availability of CSP training, YDI officials already have implemented it in group homes and 20 outpatient offices. Perkins said she uses it with her in-home clients as well.
“We’re really excited for all the families that we currently have in our services, being able to provide these resources,” Morin-Degel said.
Nor are the services only available for families already seeking YDI services or in crisis. The class is open to anyone interested in taking it.
“Even the best parents can benefit,” Perkins said.
For more on CSP, visit www.parenting.org/common-sense-parenting. For more on YDI or the classes, visit www.youthdynamics.org/.