We’re living in the age of weakness. The average modern man is becoming a bigger and bigger pussy. From living in constant fear of his boss to living under the control of his bossy girlfriend, the average man has sacrificed much of what it means to be a man. If these weak behaviors weren’t enough, his body is so soft it could be used for a baby wipes commercial and his style is closer to that of a woman’s.
Below I’ll cover the three most common ways I see men showing weakness on a day-to-day basis. Catch yourself doing these things, recognize it, and then stop.
1. Stop apologizing
If there was a way to capture the frequency the word “sorry” is used in conversation over time, I’m positive that it would be at its peak in 2014.
Yes, there are situations that warrant an apology, but they’re few and far between compared to how much I hear the word used. I constantly hear men apologizing for the stupidest things everyday. Yesterday I witnessed a man apologize to me repeatedly at the gym as he shuffled behind me to get to a piece of equipment. I didn’t have to move. He had room. At most, an “excuse me” was warranted on the first occasion. But no, he was so afraid he was going to offend me that continued to cry “sorry” like a little puppy.
Another example I can recall involves one of my personal training clients. Every time he had trouble learning a new exercise, his first instinct was to apologize to me. Give me a break. I don’t expect every movement to come to you naturally. And if you’re frustrated that’s okay, but why are you apologizing to me? You’re paying me to help you learn this shit.
So stop fucking apologizing everywhere you go. You’re not hurting anyone’s feelings, and if you do every once in a while, it’s not the end of the world if you don’t apologize. In today’s day and age, I’d rather err on the side of not apologizing, rather than risk becoming addicted to it’s use and being a bitch. And in the rare occasion that you have harmed someone, it’s better to act to fix the situation rather than bombarding them with a storm of “sorrys”.
2. Stop explaining yourself
This might be my biggest pet peeve. Especially when I catch myself doing it. A lot of guy’s first instinct, when they say something that isn’t met with immediate praise and acceptance, is to start rationalizing what they said. This screams weakness and lack of self-confidence louder than anything else I can think of.
To continue my stream of personal training examples, yesterday I informed a lady that I’d no longer be conducting sessions after 6PM. I knew this was a situation where I might jump the gun and offer a big explanation up front, so I prepared myself. I started by simply stating, “No, going forward I can’t do Thursdays at 8PM.” Rather than explaining why or try to appease her initial reaction—I waited. Of course, she asked me why, and commented how perfect it worked out for her at that time. I responded by saying I simply decided not to do late sessions anymore. I may have lost a client, but I was prepared for that outcome and didn’t let my instinct to please everyone get in the way of what I wanted.
If you don’t get instant validation of something you say, that’s okay. Leave the burden on the other party to ask a question or make a counter argument before you start droning on and defending what you said.
3. Stop complaining
Everyone has a friend or family member that complains a lot. Do you think of this person as confident or strong? No, they appear weak. Their constant need to express how things aren’t going perfectly for them is just annoying. And it’s no wonder that “bitching” has become a synonym for “complaining”—when you complain you embody a defining characteristic of the classic bitch. When you complain you’re really saying “I don’t like the way something is going but I’m too afraid or lazy to do anything about it myself so I’m going to tell you about it instead.”
Have you ever been on a date with a girl who just moans and whines the entire time? It’s the worst, and it immediately disqualifies her for anything long-term. Realize that it’s no different when you complain. You annoy anyone who you complain to, and you condition yourself to bitch about things instead of manning up and doing something about it.
Check out my new Amazon bestseller The Book of Alpha for more advice on building confidence and improving your success.
Read More: The Only 2 Things A Man Can Depend On