FACE IT: THERE'S A LOT of girlie stuff you'd get for yourself if acquiring and owning it weren't so emasculating. A convertible Mini, maybe. Or breast implants. Until that changes, your best camouflage is your girlfriend or wife. This year, instead of buying her something you think she'll like, buy her something you know you will--even if you're not ready to admit it.
1) Sex and the City: The Complete Series
Why she'll love it: It's 94 installments of fashion porn, fucked-up relationships, and sisterhood--plus a guide to locations featured on the show and an "En-Sex-Lopedia." Why you want it: You don't. First of all, Aidan was the best thing to happen to Carrie. If she wants to throw him away--fine. But she should have figured that out before he broke down the wall between their apartments. $195 at amazon.com.
2) L'Occitane shea-butter ultimate collection
Why she'll love it: Women appreciate anything that aids the ongoing struggle to add moisture and softness to body parts that are already saturated and supple. Why you want it: A few years ago, we found some L'Occitane moisturizer in our girlfriend's medicine cabinet, and our skin has never been the same since. $352 at loccitane.com (includes 17 products).
3) David Gray's Life in Slow Motion, Belle and Sebastian's Push Barman to Open Old Wounds, and Laura Cantrell's Humming by the Flowered Vine
Why she'll love them: They're melodic, soothing, lyrically rich albums. Why you want them: Once you get over the fact that a) David Gray was responsible for the single "Babylon," b) Belle and Sebastian "sucks ass," according to Jack Black's character in High Fidelity, and c) Cantrell named her record Humming by the Flowered Vine, you'll realize that the emotion on these discs is more authentic than whatever Coldplay's whining about.
4) Cook's Illustrated magazine subscription
Why she'll love it: There's no more authoritative food magazine. When Cook's endorses a cheesecake, it's because its editors made 45 of them. Why you want it: With hypertechnical descriptions and spare illustrations, it's a cooking periodical with the clarity of a car-repair manual. $25 at cooksillustrated.com.
5) Los Feliz glazed-goat "Julia" bag by Rafe
Why she'll love it: From a female colleague: "It's practical and elegant--in earth tones neither frivolous nor sober." Why you want it: A gigantic bag with more than enough space for your shit and hers, it's the equivalent of a backpack--which you won't be carrying. $650; go to rafe.com for store locations.