There have been plenty of anecdotal stories on attending this year’s Republican National Convention, and from most accounts it sounds like it was relatively fun…for a political convention. I still don’t think I’d want to go, but then if I had a reason to go I would probably enjoy it more. You know, like if I was a senator, I could walk around making people bow and kiss my ring. At least, I think that is what senators do.
Well, I was thinking: what would a day at the Democratic National Convention be like? Probably boring, but then hanging around some railroad tracks in the middle of nowhere is boring too…until there is a train wreck. And with that many Democrats and their nutty supporters in one place, there’s bound to be a few wrecks. So it could be interesting after all…
Day 1 at the DNC
* You’re assaulted by the garbage police for throwing your plastic cup into a “recycle” bin instead of the “composte” bin. It’s clearly marked biodegradeable!
* You try to eat some of that great BBQ, but then are publically shamed and ridiculed by mobs of animal rights activists and militant vegans.
* You give up on the BBQ and go try to get a waffle cone…until Michelle Obama’s personal food police stop you.
* You notice Harry Reid keeps following people into the restroom.
* You keep tripping over hippies laying all over the place. You then notice those are actually the delegates.
* You keep getting the wrong change when you buy things because none of these people can do basic math.
* After listening to a dozen boring speeches, you are then forced to watch a video about how great of a president Jimmy Carter was.
* When the video is over, you suddenly feel sick and head to the restroom. You notice Harry Reid following you.
* You decide to head back to your hotel room to lay down for a bit, but then are attacked by swarms of angry bed bugs.
* Tired, hungry, and feeling a bit sick, you arrive back just in time to hear Michelle Obama speak…and then realize you forgot to bring your Klingon to English translator.
Yep. Sounds like a great time to me.