New York - (AssoCIAted Mess): The UN Security Council has voted overwhelmingly in favor of DNA testing and fingerprinting all members of the Bush tribe after the UK's Metropolitan Police and Interpol confirmed that their database of the world's top one million crooks is now ready.
The files hold bio-data of all known organised and disoranised crime cartels affiliated either by blood or money to Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Pope Pius XII and the Queen Mother.
The move follows protests in the UK at British nationals being made to give their fingerprints to the FBI before being allowed to pass through passport controls at US ports and airports. It has been described by the UK's Director of Diabolical Liberties as a knee-jerk Keystone Cops reaction that makes America the laughing stock of security agencies worldwide.
Further measures are being considered by the European Union including compulsory strip searches of all US politicians entering the EU and the posting of mandatory bail bonds to secure their good behavior.
A proposed sliding scale of charges would set the top end benchmark at around $500,000 per day for any member of the Bush family visiting, say, Paris or Rome or London. Ditto rabid evangelical nutters such as the Reverend Pat Robertson who would also be required to post in that pricing band before a compulsory brain scan to determine if a period of quarantine is needed before being let loose on European soil, much the same as in cases of suspected rabies or Polonium 210 poisoning.
The proposals would mean that diplomatic immunity would cease to protect politicians under previous Geneva Convention agreements. But seeing as these have long been torn up and shat upon by the Bush Admninistration, the matter now appears to be irrelevant.