At 11/30/08 01:55 PM, Ragnarokia wrote:
I don't know as I have seen a person from their group who seemed okish with me but he still seemed to not want to be near me really.
That's okay, that's something you can work on. But what you can tell from this is that you shouldn't put the same meaning on everything right away.
I mean, someone told you everyone hates you, but how do you know this person is telling the truth? Is he someone that's always right and never wrong? Is it someone who's honest? And even more important, does he know you well enough to hate you?
Yea I can get this, all about how you percieve what happens and stuff, usually I always choose the wrong thing to think of it as though, but I guess it's a win or loose situation.
It's usually that people are unaware of this that makes them choose the wrong thing. But now you know, so you can focus on some more positive things to help you out. Also, just some more info, but these limiting thoughts also apply to physical aspects.
For instance, if you are about to do something like making a backflip, and you believe that you won't be able to, your body will block itself, causing you to be unable to do it. However, if you believe you can do it, your body will actually help you achieve this. Sure, you still might not make it due to inexperience or some other aspect outside of your control, but that's not the point :P
I guess it can just say that I take offense to easily and to everything. I wish I didn't but I don't really have any leeway with abuse against me, I take complete offense even if it is from people on here, people say it is just the internet but it effects me the same : (
How about you turn their behaviour against themselves? If someone makes a comment on you, they form an opinion inside their head about you. If someone calls you a loser, doesn't mean you're a loser, it means he's an asshole.
Turn things around, make their behaviour about them, not about you. What they say about you isn't about you, it's about them.
Not with random people I mention it to people I have been close to for a long time, and I usually dont go saying things like "I am lonely help me" usually if they ask how I am I say bad and things and if they ask why I would add that I am lonely or something. Then even though they asked they seem to not like the answer : (
Do you know why most people ask that? To feel safe. Believe it or not, but when people ask that, they're basicly communicating: "I'm a normal person and I mean no harm, do you?".
By responding to this with a typical answer like 'I'm great', people agree to that question in order to feel safe too. But, if you answer honestly (which I think is the best way), you go in the opposite direction. What you need to understand is that they don't want an honest answer. They don't care about your feelings, not much anyway, they're just being kind.
Also, what adds up to this is, what I've said before, people like to hang out with people who project positivity. So saying you don't feel so good and you're lonely, not only makes them feel uncomfortable, but also blocks the rest of the conversation, as the only thing to talk about would be something negative.
I have been posting as I thought it would be the best way I could try and get help, due to it being in this crew I thought that people wouldn't come here just to flame people and people would either come to give help or ask for it. If it was in general I wouldn't and I have started being open on the internet as I just need somewhere to be : (
Ok, but how come you trust us? You have no idea who we are, what we are about, only that we say we want to help you, how did you know we actually would? Why can't you trust a random person you meet to be like us?
I know and I also know that the chances someone would do that to me would also be very slim but I just can't help wit hthe fear of it. Even yesterday I heard the door bell and thought against going to it for a while fearing someone might barge in and attack me. I don't know why I have these fears it is like the whole world is against me in my mind or something.
Here is something I want to you to do. Make a list of things you need to remember. On this list, write:
- Think positively
- Project strenght and positivity
- Nobody is trying to hurt me
- Nobody can hurt me
- If something doesn't feel right, walk away
- I am in control of myself and what I do
- No thought can prevent me from getting what I really want
What you do next is, you repeat these things to yourself every morning when you wake up, after which you put it in one of your pockets. Then, every time when something comes up which is about anything on this list, you think about the list in your pocket and you repeat in your head what you wrote on it.
At night repeat the list again before you go to sleep.
Whenever I do have control over myself I tend not to do anything with it fearing that it will go badly, whenever I do try things it always ends up making others worse so I don't want to do that.
Why does it end up bad? Is it because you don't know what to do, or is it because of this fear that is blocking you?
I don't care for people saying I am good or something I just care for them treating me as a friend if they say they are, or even as a human really.
What does treating like a friend mean to you? What should someone do in order to make you feel like a friend? Is it words they should say, or is it a certain feeling you should get?
I know, I stopped the coldness about 1 or 2 years ago and I dont use it where I am now, but I might as well be like that as people treat me, if anything less than before.
Just because you stopped projecting coldness, doesn't mean you project the right thing now ;)
Negativity - Negativity doesn't make positivity.
A lot actually I really want to feel like I can help someone, if I can help them it makes me feel better as it kind of gives me a reason.
Of course, helping others does feel good, but would you not rather feel good about yourself? If helping others makes you feel good, you are depending on others to need help, do you want this?
I felt good being able to actually be with people, even if it was only for the short period of time like less than an hour at least for then I was able to talk, I still hardly did anything but if I did say something people did actually listen, still there were only 2 or 3 people that did but it's better than none.
Hey man, that's more than some other people do. What was the difference between the things you said now and the things you usually say?
I will try and get to know him better and talk to him maybe see if I can become his friend, i don't want to rush in and ask incase we end up not having anything in common or we don't end up liking each other or he is strait or it just happens to fast or anything like that. I want to make sure that if it did end up becoming serious though the chances are against it that I dont do something to screw it up like I did last time : (
That's ok, I too think you should take it slow. Getting to know someone isn't that easy, so just take your time.
At 11/30/08 02:00 PM, krazykangaroo wrote:
thanks vincoid!- also a message to everyone interested: Pretending like u dont give a shit about a girl makes her more interested, She didnt talk to me on aim, and it made me wanna see her more, so i did the same thing to her for 2 days now, and she really wants to talk to me. At least once an hour she messages me saying sorry for every possible thing shes done to piss me off, and shes commenting on all my facebook pics just trying to get me to talk to her. Ill talk to her a bit, cos if u dont talk at all she loses interest, but right now shes given herself a challenge for me to talk again. I just felt like adding that cos right now shes talking
Very nice, looks like you get it ;)
And no problem by the way ;)