On the TV news, I heard a woman being interviewed about a crime. She said, “…then that gentleman shot him and ran away.” Or something like that. Hey, lady—a guy who shoots people is no gentleman, unless he’s a cop, in which case he’s a “police officer.”
What I’m getting at is the excessive niceness of using the word “gentleman” for any old bloke. Of course, long ago, a gentleman was a fellow with some property and some manners, a man who was, if not in the upper class, at least in the upper-middle class. Someone you would call “Mister” instead of “Hey, you!” But today, people use the term, “gentleman” to refer to anyone from a gangster to a king. But hold it, folks. The word has connotations and denotations you might not mean when you use it, to-wit:
• A chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man.
• A man of good social position, esp. one of wealth and leisure.
Not every old anybody you meet is a gentleman. So isn’t it okay to call a male human a “fellow,” a “man,” or a “guy,” depending on the context? For example, consider the following:
“That man at the entrance gate said we ought to park in Row R.” Generic male human.
“A fellow I know can get you a good deal on tires.” Implies some personal knowledge of the man.
“Who told you that?” “I dunno. Some guy at the bar.” Generic with a tinge of disrespect.
But “gentleman?” I wouldn’t apply it to a homeless guy living under a bridge. He may, in fact, behave in a gentlemanly manner (especially if he’s a former banker, investment broker or Humanities major). But still, I’d reserve the term for someone who is several cuts above a “guy.” Wouldn’t you?
I wonder if all this “gentleman” business is about the drive to eliminate “elitism,” that bugaboo of Yankee down-to-earthism. If every man, no matter how uneducated, crude or penniless, is a “gentleman,” then no one is really “elite.” If every 8th-grade dropout hanging on the corner talking trash is a “gentleman,” then where is the honor in being called “gentleman?”
On the other hand, it might be a well-intentioned attempt to honor every male citizen’s potential, or not to judge a man one doesn’t know. But now, let’s put the shoe on the other foot, in this case, a lady’s foot.There are women, ladies, girls, gals, and other names I won’t mention which are generally used by guys (not gentlemen). A “woman” can be anyone from your Great-Aunt Suzy to a female wrestler to a jailbird. A “lady,” on the other hand, generally is the female counterpart to gentleman. “Girls” and “gals” can mean women of any age—to other women of the same age. But “girls” generally refers to females under the age of 18. “Gals” generally refers to women over 30, especially when they pal around together—as “gal-pals.”
As a woman of a certain age, I recall fondly the days when store clerks and waiters called me, “Miss.” The first time someone called me, “Ma’am,” I looked around to see who they were talking to. I had crossed the Rubicon from “Miss” to “Ma’am” without knowing it, and finding it out that way stunned me temporarily. I’ve gotten over it now. I don’t feel like a “Ma’am,” still a “Miss” on the inside. But my outside apparently has given me away. Not fair, I say, but alas, there’s nothing to be done about it, so I will adopt the motto of the alley cat, Mehitabel, in Don Marquis’ brilliant book, “Archy and Mehitabel.” “Toujour gai, I say, toujour gai!”