Whining is a verbal temper tantrum. Compared to screaming tantrums, it’s a step up the developmental ladder. Some examples of whining and pestering behavior are:
There are many contributing factors. The child often has a strong-willed temperament. The parent may intermittently reward whiny behavior by giving in to it. In addition, most normal 3 and 4 year olds enjoy testing the boundaries in their home. Expect more whining when your child is tired or sleepy.
The parent’s job is to teach the child that whining and pestering never works. Teach that you don’t change your mind, you know what you’re doing, you’re fair and that “no means no”. While children’s needs (love, food, clothing, safety) should always be met, their wants (for more of everything) require a reality check. Children need to be learn to accept limits when they request nonessential possessions or activities. They need to learn to cope with the normal frustrations of unmet wishes.
All children do some whining and complaining. They need a wise parent to coach them through this annoying phase. Be sure to praise them when they accept your decision without resorting to endless pestering.