Do you need a good laugh on this hurricane-ravaged Saturday morning? Well, then. If you’re drinking something, I suggest you swallow before proceeding.
Ready for some great reasons to vote Republicon? Here ye go, a selection of my favorites:
I’m voting Republican because being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
I’m voting Republican because “Standing Tall for America” means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.
I’m voting Republican because the best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.
I’m voting Republican because a good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
I’m voting Republican because Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.
I’m voting Republican because a president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
There’s a lot more reasons to vote Republicon. Nothing like having your blood boil while you’re laughing, is there? Go. Enjoy.