Veering off from Andy_Euph's thread, please find some entries from "The Brass Band Dictonary".
"Unique" = something that the speaker/poster believes is worthy of note.
"Innovative" = an initiative or happening where the promoter/poster uses the word "innovative" more than three times, thereby making it "Innovative" no matter how old hat it actually is.
"New Music" = anything still in Copyright
"Friendly Band" = Every band that ever advertised for players
"London Band" = Any band within 60 miles of the M25
"Close to" = Within 5 miles of a motorway junction (except the M25 - See "London Band").
"Dep" = A person who covers an empty seat in a band at (usually) a concert, who we will "forget" to pay if they don't get over the embarrassment and actually ask the treasurer
"Brilliant Opportunity" = A chance to put your band on display without remuneration. (See also "LOCOG")
"Forward looking band" = Sets up in two straight lines facing the audience.
"Subs" = 1. An obnoxious concept. 2. Fantastic value if you compare it to belonging to a sports club.
"LOCOG" = An organsation that does not believe that any musicians are actually professional.
"Anonymity" = 1. Used legitimately by parties to contribute positively to an online community, whilst maintaining a degree of separation from the band/organisation they play for/represent. 2. The right to spout hurtful untruths, usually in the guise of humour, because it perceived there is no comeback as "they don't know who I am".
"Oldest band" = (Usually related to particular area/region) Any band for which evidence that it did not exist from the stated date cannot be found.
"Contest" = An event that starts (usually) several hours before the "We Wiz Robbed" brigade pipes up.
"Composer" = 1. Person who creates new music. 2. Anyone with "Sibelius"
"Sibelius" = 1. Finnish Composer. 2. A music notation tool. 3. (colloq) A music composition tool.