You know, if my brother used the phrasing DH did to tell me SIL was undergoing something I would wonder "Is it cancer? If so what is the prognosis? How long will her recovery be? How are they doing with the no kids thing? Did bro tell me like that because it is too diffocult to discuss? How can I be supportive without being intrusive?"
Asking a parent actually does make sense to me.
Me too. I was in a very similar situation several years ago, only it was cancer. I know a LOT of people called my sister to ask for updates, etc. because they were concerned but didn't want to bother me and were afraid that talking about it would upset me. I even jokingly dubbed her my PR rep.
I think your BIL contacted MIL out of concern, not for gossip.. for whatever reason he didn't feel comfortable talking to you or BIL about it. I can see why you'd be annoyed given the relationship
but I do think he had good intentions.