Domestic Violence knows no age, socioeconomic, religious, racial, gender or
educational barriers. It is a myth that only the poor or uneducated are victims
of domestic abuse. Most studies indicate that there is also a high incidence
of spousal abuse in the more affluent neighborhoods. Although a poor victim has
the terrible problem of not having resources available, the more affluent spouse may
also be in an equally desperate trap due to social stigmas, greater economic pressures
and the increased societal position and power that the partner may have at his or
her disposal. A lesbian or gay victim may have even greater barriers if there
is discrimination because of sexual orientation.
It is devastating for children to witness verbal or physical abuse, or to see the
aftermath: an injured parent, a destroyed home. Fear, anger, feelings of
isolation, low self-esteem and loss of trust are all common in children who witness
abuse. Learning disabilities and behavioral problems which may be present are
likely to intensify as they get older. In households where women are abused by
their partners, there is often a high incidence of child abuse by the abusive parent.
It is also becoming increasingly apparent that children in violent homes are
frequently victims of incest and, unfortunately, the legacy of abuse doesn't stop
when the children leave home. Children develop behavior based on what they have
experienced growing up. Children from violent homes are at high risk for becoming
adult victims or abusers themselves.
Family and friends are indirect victims of abuse. The isolation and terror that
victim lives with deprives those closest to him or her from meaningful and
fulfilling relationships. Often the abuser will harm others close to the victim
in an effort to hurt or control the victim. An abuser may harm children, other
family members friends, pets, personal belongings and the family home.
Isolation keeps a victim trapped. Frequently, a batterer isolates the victim from
the family socially, emotionally and geographically. The victim is frequently
forbidden to see trusted friends and family, and is denied the opportunity to
go to school or work outside the home. There is little or no access to or control
over finances. in the midst of this terrible isolation, the abuser employs
"brainwashing" tactics, and with no input to the contrary from
anyone outside the relationship, there will be no way for the victim to
The abuser's "protector" behavior further isolates the victim from those
persons and things that are important to his or her well-being. After a long
period of isolation the victim may feel emotionally overwhelmed, terrified and
confused. If the victim should enter into a new relationship, he or she tends
to have an overwhelming fear of the abuser's threats of harm. The victim will
also feel tremendous guilt over having put another person into danger. At the
same time, the victim may question and struggle with issues of trust, not
knowing if the new relationship is real or simply a repetition of the
patterns previously established with the abuser.