Interacting with people involves more than just throwing words at each other across a few feet of air space. When you are really communicating with someone, you not only have to listen, you have to SEE what the other person is saying.
Did you know that a human is capable of 36 different walking gaits, depending on a variety of factors including mood. The human body is very effective at automatically communicating how it feels inside. Watching body language involves "reading" a person's hidden message by paying attention to his or her physical actions. This important communication process is as much an art as handwriting analysis or effective listening.
Body talk is easy to read. Think of it from a common sense perspective. People can say many things but can mean something entirely different. When communicating with employees, co-workers, or taking care of customers, it's wise to take the time to read nonverbal attitudes or meaning. Listen to what is being said, but at the same time, closely observe what they do to form a whole message. Eyes, body position and voice tone speak volumes. Body signals often make the difference between complete rapport and bungled misunderstandings.
Eye contact is a good indicator of where you stand with a person. People focus directly on you if they are comfortable and relaxed in your presence. However, a speaker's gaze slides repeatedly away or toward the ceiling, they may feel pressured or ill at ease. A continually lowered gaze may indicate slight depression. If rapid eye blinking greets your words, anxiety may be present. More emotional and/or work-related support is the answer.
Body position is tricky. Two people at ease are casual and "at home" with each other. They follow what is called "postural echo-mirrored movements" to and with the other. You nod; so do they. You lean against the doorjamb; they do the same. When it comes to body position, like-minded equals like-bodied.
Conversely, if the person you're speaking with turns away, you're getting the cold shoulder — they're defensive. Also, crossed arms across the chest is another indicator that a person is defensive. If a person's hands are in their pockets, they may even be hiding something. You will know you have lost a person's attention if they become fidgety and behave with finger-drumming, thumb-twiddling and chair-swiveling.
Some further indicators of positive feedback are a steady, calm voice. A person is excited if their speech becomes a rapid-fire, tongue-twisted barrage of sound and intimidated if their words slow down to a tentative, uncertain pace.
The nuances of body language can alert the adroit person to signs of pleasure or unhappiness, deception or commitment, confusion or confidence. If you see a problem in a person's body language, get it out in the open and handle it then.
Finally, don't forget to check you own signals. Your posturing is sending nonverbal messages too. By keeping your body language open and receptive, you let others know you're empathic and professional.
Body talk is another key way to communicate with others. Use it to enhance your communication skills.
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