Summary – House is haunted by Kutner's sudden death. It was another puzzle that he had to solve. He starts hallucinating Kutner in his head as he tries to put the pieces together. What if Kutner isn't a hallucination though?
Disclaimer - I own nothing.
House stared at the childhood pictures of Kutner, as if the answer would jump out at him. House didn't get it. Kutner seemed so carefree, so determined, and so…happy. House glanced at the picture Kutner's parents showed him, the one when he was 6 years old. The words Cuddy said to him a few days ago were stuck in his head.
"It's ok…You should be upset. He thought like you, pushed boundaries like you..."
Kutner wasn't like him though. They had share similar techniques on medicine, which was the only thing they had in common, somewhat. House closed his eyes and slowed his breathing, trying to calm down.
"I never really like that picture."
House looked up and saw Kutner staring at him. Kutner was wearing the same clothes Foreman and 13 found him in, stained in blood. Kutner was smiling at House, like a child who was told they did a good job. Typical Kutner; House thought as he tried to blink away this illusion. However after a few attempts, Kutner remained.
"First Amber, now Kutner, great," House mumbled to himself.
Kutner seemed to have heard him, since he shrugged.
"Some people deal with grief in their own ways. Take Skutner's death," Kutner said, chuckling.
"Taub chose to ignore it by diagnosing the married couple, Wilson tried to avoid dealing with you, and 13 wanted comfort from Foreman and Foreman needed space. Meanwhile, you're chasing after the reason why," Kutner sighed.
"Knowing you, you'd like to solve a mystery, that's why you're-"
"No, why did you do it?"
Kutner's smile was wiped from his face by these words. He opened his mouth as if he was going to answer but after a few seconds he closed it. Kutner seemed to be studying his former boss with a curious look on his face. A few moments later he looked at House with sadness in his eyes.
"You know I can't tell you that."
House threw the picture he was still holding to the table.
"Why? Why couldn't you leave a goddamn note or something?"
"I can't tell you."
"Then why the hell are you here?!"
Kutner walked over to House and placed a hand on his shoulder. He shuddered for a moment. He almost felt it there. It felt, cold. House looked from Kutner's hand to his face, where he saw a sad smile appear.
"That, I can't tell you either."
"Then get that idiotic smile out of my face." (Quoted from an episode; Booya.)
House violently shrugged Kutner's hand off of him and limped through the door, slamming it behind him. He didn't need this right now, not while he had things to find out.
A few days later House was throwing the red and gray tennis ball up in the air, and catching it as it came towards him. He repeated this for what seemed like a few hours. Why did he 'see' Kutner back at the apartment? How did he 'feel' Kutner's hand on his shoulder? And why wouldn't Kutner 'tell' him the reason behind the end of his life. House tried to be rational.
It was just a hallucination, he thought as he caught the ball. You're imagining a recently deceased employee is there to help give you the answers.
"House," Foreman asked.
House looked up and saw his remaining team eyeing him. 13 had a red tint to her eyes, Taub looked exhausted and Foreman looked as if he was in pan. House turned his head and looked out the window.
"The patient," Foreman said.
"Right, go run an MRI," House said, determined not to make eye contact.
13 and Taub get up and exit the room, leaving Foreman and House.
"House…" Foreman started, which made House roll his eyes.
"Come on House, he's concerned."
House turned his head in the direction of the voice. Kutner was standing next to Foreman, wearing a look of concern on his face.
"What?" House said, deciding to ignore his hallucination.
"Kutner would have wanted you to accept his death and move on." Ironically, the Kutner standing next to Foreman nodded.
"I wouldn't know what he would have wanted. He's dead," House spat at Kutner.
Kutner shook his head and smiled. House watched Foreman leave and he turned to Kutner.
"I need someone to bounce ideas off of. Time for the differential."
A/N: Ahhh. RIP Kutner. =/ review!