GIRLS ARE SUGAR AND SPICE AND EVERYTHING NICE.
MYTH. Here are the active ingredients for girls, as per the scientists at Pink Ribbon Labs: aspartame, marzipan, estrogen, blue Gatorade, apricots, margarita mix, mango chutney, citric acid, battery acid, and riboflavin.
GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN.
HALF MYTH. A part of a woman does solely want to have fun. However, the other part of her fears shenanigans. It's kind of like Laverne and Shirley. Laverne was always up for anything, without any thought of the consequences. However, Shirley was always worried that fun would lead to trouble, and so remained nestled in her uptight, conservative cocoon, which is also why she never really hit it off with Squiggy.
WOMEN ARE BAD DRIVERS.
NOT A MYTH. Yes, Danica Patrick finished fourth in the Indy 500, but . . . well, fourth is pretty damn good for a woman.
THERE'S A GLASS CEILING FOR WOMEN.
SO NOT A MYTH. Take baseball, for example. There are at present a grand total of only sixteen women on major league rosters. None of them has ever made an all-star team, none of them makes a penny over the minimum salary of $327,000, and none of them is ever used to close a game. And a lot of them are way more talented than Ryne Sandberg--who was recently inducted into the Hall of Fame!
HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED.
MYTH. Hell hath no fury like a woman driving a pickup truck who has an almond sliver stuck between her back teeth and tries to get it out with an old KFC spork that's been lying under the passenger seat for a year, and then one of the plastic prongs breaks off and she screams at the top of her lungs while driving through the storefront of a tanning salon. That, my friends, is hellish fury.
LESBIANS LIKE SOFTBALL.
MYTH. They much prefer oral sex with other women.
EVERY WOMAN BELIEVES IN HOROSCOPES.
MYTH. Except for Capricorns.
ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME.
MYTH. What do you consider a long time?