I Wonder If There Is A Problem. But I Know My Child...He's
Smart. He Just Doesn't Seem To Care About School Work.
He's Not Motivated. He's Just Lazy!
Have you ever wondered
the same thing about children you know? I can't tell you how many
times I've heard those thoughts in the last 14 years. But you also
ought to know I've never seen a lazy student.
(O.K., I'll admit that
occasionally I think that my own children are lazy, but I'm sure
they are different!)
I certainly do see some
students that look as if they are just lazy. I've seen kids do everything
to get out of doing academic work. I've even seen tired kids.
But never one who is truly lazy. The
purpose of this article is to help clarify
can a kid
"look" lazy and not be?
It's simple. Either they
can't do the work no matter how hard they try,
or the work is so difficult for them that they
will do anything to avoid it.
Have you ever sucked
on a baby bottle? If I had to work that hard to eat, I'd eat a whole
lot less. Have you ever tried writing in a car while the care drove
across a bumpy road? It's very hard to do. Most of us simply decide
to wait until later when we know it will be easier.
But what if you didn't
know it would be easier later? What if you thought that you would
have to work that hard the rest of your life?
Wouldn't that belief change both your attitude and your behavior?
Those are the kinds of people that we deal with here at the Stowell
While each individual
is different, there are some common behaviors that indicate
an individual is struggling These behaviors are clues
that a struggle is going on. These behaviors include:
More often than not, these
characteristics are mere symptoms. Of what? There are three
major categories these issues fall in. They are:
- class disruption or
- poor performance
- working too hard or
too long on schoolwork
- learning disabilities
But knowing which of
these is the root of any problem is vital to choosing the best road
to change and success. So if the symptoms can be the same for any
of the root conditions, then how can you tell what kind of referral
to make? Let's take them one at a time.
In the first five years of life, kids do EVERYTHING when they are
ready. Suddenly, it all changes when they are five. Ready or not,
off to school they go. Readiness for school is a function of a child's
TOTAL growth - emotional, social, intellectual, and physical. Every
child has a rate and pattern of growth unique to himself which may
or may not correspond to his chronological age.
Have you ever wanted
to tell a kid (or yell) "GROW UP!" That may be closer to the child's
needs than you think.
But just as the farmer
can't go out to the field and make his crop grow faster by talking
to it, children can develop ONLY over time. So how can you tell
if those characteristic behaviors that you observe are caused by
Here are some signals
to look for:
- Young birth date
- Immature compared
to grade level peers
- Relates best to younger
- Fatigue, tenseness,
- Avoidance, passive
- "Uneven" development
(children who are overplaced can't cope with everything all at
once. They might end up putting most of their energies into academics
while acting "shy" around peers. Or they may do the reverse -
have lots of friends and do poor academically.
Overplacement is best solved by giving the child another year to
mature before placing him in the succeeding grade. Ideally, the
unready child will be spotted prior to kindergarten entrance, but
since these children do not usually "catch up," a grade adjustment
even at an older age may save the child from being uncomfortable
and unsuccessful in school.
are a little trickier to diagnose because they "hide" a little better
than overplacement does.
Poor performance in school
often opens the door to low self-esteem and emotional stress. But
when a psychological or emotional disturbance is the primary cause
of the school problems, the behaviors don't stop when the child
leaves school. Instead, the behaviors tend to spread throughout
the child's life. Here are some examples:
- a child with an extreme
fear of failure or lack of self-confidence may do his schoolwork
very well but "lose" it before time to turn it in for fear that
it might be wrong.
- On the baseball field
he may have excellent skills, but be unable to perform in a game
so that he spends most of the game on the "safety" of the bench.
- A student who is explosive
with his schoolwork may also be volatile on the playground and
Students who have problems
in school for psychological/emotional reasons may have learning
disabilities, but often do not.
mental (and sometimes physical)
energies are simply tied up with concerns that
are more primary in their hierarchy of needs.
Psychological and emotional
concerns can best be dealt with through the help of a qualified
counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist.
are sometimes called the "hidden Handicap." Learning disabled
children and adults look and act like the rest of the population.
They are bright and often talented in creative or physical areas.
Their "disability," with
its accompanying frustration, withdrawal, or coping behaviors, rears
its head in the face of specific tasks or expectations. What are
the factors that distinguish a learning problem from a maturity
problem or psychological/emotional interference?
If the student has at
least average intellectual potential and is placed in the appropriate
grade for his developmental age, the following list will be helpful
in recognizing if your child's/student's school concerns are related
to learning disabilities.
reactions that are specific to academic situations
- Difficulty adjusting
to the structure of the school environment
- Difficulty with recognition,
manipulation and sequence of symbols, such as numbers and letters.
- Difficulty with following
directions and retaining newly learned information
- Disorganization in
thinking, planning, and keeping track of possessions.
Many students can cover
or compensate for a learning disability for a long time, but eventually
it catches up with them. While the 3rd/4th grade level is common
to diagnosing learning disabilities, some students may get to middle
school or high school before help is sought.
Clinically, we have found
people at the graduate degree level before they finally seek remediation.
How far a student CAN go before help is required will be different
for each person.
But help is available
and should be sought at the earliest possible time, because"compensating"
is stressful even when not outwardly visible; it requires far too
What can be done?
There are two ways of
dealing with learning disabilities. The most common method used
is to treat the symptoms by giving students extra work on basic
skills, as well as more individual attention.
Our approach is to attack
the underlying processes that interfere with attention
and learning (yes, ADHD children CAN learn to focus their attention).
We know that children and adults of at least average intellectual
potential can and should become proficient learners. Because the
traditional methods have not worked for some, we know that they
must be taught in a different ways - not just individualizing the
same old methods.
By concentrating on underlying
processes, along with developing the needed basic skills, we have
been able to help students who, until now, have enjoyed only limited
success in school.