We recently pitted several cars against people, places, and stuff with similar-sounding names, but determining how the Ford Fiesta fares against Taco Bell’s Fiesta Taco Salad was just the beginning. Here we take a look at more cars to see how they stack up against their auditory doppelgängers.
|Subaru Legacy||Chef Emeril Lagasse|
|What is it?||One of the original mainstream cars with all-wheel drive||One of the original celebrity chefs|
|Spare tire||Compact high-pressure, trunk-mounted||Full-size, torso-mounted|
|Goes BAM!||Above the redline||When adding garlic, spices|
|How to identify the hot version||Look for 2.5GT badging||Look for a cherubic man dripping with sweat and hunched over a sauté pan|
Emeril Lagasse. Our long-term Legacy is nice, but wed rather have a long-term chef to make us authentic Nawlins vittles every day.
|Enemy||Honda, Hyundai, the U.S. Senate||The Dark Side|
|Problems with English||Uses gibberish words like Venza and Yaris||Syntax|
|Available colors||Beige, exclusively (based on observation)||Green, exclusively|
|Significant events 900 years ago||Its buyers were born||He was born|
Draw. Both can make a vehicle accelerate without anyone touching it. (We kid; check out our coverage of Toyotas unintended-acceleration woes.)
|Dodge Nitro||Nitro, the American Gladiator|
|What is it?||Dodges ultra-butch crossover SUV||One of the ultra-butch, muscle-bound stars of the popular TV show|
|Real name||Jeep Liberty||Danny Lee Clark|
|Hyperbole abuse||Trim levels are called Heat, Detonator, and Shock||Co-gladiators included Blaze, Havoc, and Zap|
|Where are they now?||Surprisingly, still alive||Surprisingly, still alive|
Nitro, the American Gladiator. According to him, his steroid abuse led to a life of pissing blood, smuggling drugs, destroying hotel rooms, getting arrested, growing breasts, and lying bloodied in the street after a vicious fight with his best friend. Still, it sounds more interesting than driving the Dodge.
|Rolls-Royce Phantom||The Phantom of the Opera|
|What is it?||An exorbitantly expensive luxury sedan with a disfigured face||A Broadway musical about a genius with a disfigured face|
|Nationality||A British car brand, as interpreted by Germans||A French novel, as interpreted by Brits|
|Length Records Held||At nearly 20 feet, its the second-longest car on sale in the U.S.||Debuting in 1986, its the longest-running musical in U.S. history|
|Biggest fans||People from the Middle East||People from the Midwest|
Rolls-Royce Phantom. Even with a $387,400 sticker price, owning one for a year is cheaper by the hour than a Broadway show with $100 tickets.
|Ford Focus||Attention Deficit Disorder|
|What is it?||Fords compact car, the U.S. model was introduced in 1999 and received its third face lift in 2008||A common disorder that makes it more difficult to stay focused, pay attention, and controlhey, a squirrel!|
|What do scientists say is at the root of the problem?||Ford was being cheap||Many competing, inconclusive theoriesseriously, hes right there|
|Treatment||Medication and therapyand buying a Mazda 3||Medication and therapyI bet I can catch it|
|Associated social stigma||Increasing as time goes on||Decreasing as time goI dont know why I was just outside, but I found three acorns!|
Ford Focus. Research suggests that some people are never rid of ADD, but the many-times-warmed-over Focus will be replaced by an all-new global model in 2011.