People have pursued the Holy Grail, the philosopher’s stone, and the origins of life. And in this week’s episode of The Chopra Well’s Spiritual Solutions, we investigate another quintessential mystery: What is the secret to happiness?
In an earlier episode, Deepak Chopra responded to a similar inquiry: Does true happiness exist? He explained that striving for happiness and fulfillment is an ongoing process – really a life journey. I have noticed that my own process entails exercising conscious decision-making. I make minor tweaks as I go, constantly learning from experiences that came before.
But is there one single most important ingredient to happiness? Turns out, according to Deepak, that making someone else happy is what provides the strongest, most immediate boost to our own sense of fulfillment. There is ample research to support this claim. Happy people donate more money to charity than rich people do. Giving a gift is more satisfactory than receiving one. Being ‘neighborly’ and kind translates to being happy.
You can be happy right now by making someone else happy. Follow the three A’s: Attention, Appreciation, and Affection. First, listen to the person and give them your full attention. Next, notice and identify a strength of theirs, and verbalize the trait you appreciate. Finally, communicate your affection for them. Even if you think they already know or it seems unnecessary, it never hurts to reach out and let someone know you care.
This should be a relatively simple, straightforward prescription. But many, myself included, find it difficult to actually reach out to someone. Why is it so hard to say “I love you” or to ask someone if they need a hand? I think a heightened awareness of “awkwardness” is what gets in our way. God forbid we should appear strange, uncoordinated, or overly emotive. Better to stay ‘over here’ where we are safe and contained, than to attempt to connect with someone and risk feeling awkward.