No matter how intently we pretend to be know-it-alls, every human has a brain full of questions.
Here are some of the questions, stupid and otherwise, that currently plague my brain.
• Can Jackson possibly need so many medical marijuana places?
• Can Jackson possibly need so many dollar stores?
• Can Jackson possibly need so many Mexican restaurants?
(Gut reaction on those three: No, probably not and, si, señor.)
• Why is the price of a gallon of gasoline so volatile it can jump up 30 cents in a day, but it’s never volatile enough to drop 30 cents in a day?
• Speaking of gas, why do some stations still put “Pay at the Pump” on signs? That’s pretty much expected now, guys.
• Are more than one of those computer clicker things called “mouses” or “mice?”
• Why does Honda have a commercial where zombies drive cars? Do zombies make consumers desire a Civic?
• What is a “dream kitchen?” Am I supposed to dream about kitchens?
• Why did Yum-Yum cookies go off the market? The name said it all.
• How come almost all the bicycle riders seen on Brown Street in Jackson are still on the sidewalk instead of the bike lane?
• Shouldn’t someone tell the NBA and the NHL they are winter sports? When it’s sunny and in the 80s outdoors, basketball and hockey are unnatural acts.
• Before all the hub-bub, how come I never knew it was possible the bridge between Detroit and Windsor could be owned by some rich guy in Grosse Pointe?
• Why would a man named Weiner be dumb enough to, well, you know? He’s just asking to be a joke.
• What possessed the tourism people in Lansing to place a billboard 4.3 miles from Jackson on the southbound side of U.S. 127? Everyone who can read it is headed the wrong way.
• Is anything more satisfying in the life of a male than an unexpectedly successful small-engine repair? I mean, besides the obvious things.
• Why do so many people put no stock in the falling unemployment rate in Jackson County? Do we think numbers mean nothing unless they get worse?
• What’s the difference between “partly sunny” and “partly cloudy?”
• Why does no law punish restaurants that put lake perch on the menu and then serve what any Michigander can plainly see is a different fish?
• If humans have 3,000 thoughts a day, how come so many of them are questions and so few are answers?