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Christmas Special 2007
Ray: Christmas is coming and the goose is getting fat, but it's positively svelte compared to big fat Ed Gamble, ladies and Gentlemen!
Live show 4
Ray: Raji fifaji, picklaji fifaji, fifaji picklaji, that's why you're called Raji.
Ray: Right, Raji, right, tell me when to stop...
Ray: Ding dong ding dong you'r nose is this long.
Raji: See that, right....
Ray: Right, Raji, tell me when to stop...
Raji: (witheringly) Stop.
Ray: Ding dong ding dong you are a twat.
Ed: I think we might pull it off this week.
Ray: Do you think?
Ed: Did someone just laugh at "Pull it off"
Ray: That's all we have to do tonight.
Ed: OK then, brilliant.
Ray: Ooh i tell you, this week's show's going to be a "big one".
Ray: Although it could be quite hard in bits....... and spunk coming out the end of it.
Live Show 5
Ray: What is it what you call a deer what doesn't know about nothing? Blind.
Raji: No, no eye deer.
Ray: No, but you're twisting it round, it works either way.
Ed: No, it doesn't work either way.
Ray: Here's another one, right, what do you call a blind deer? Whatever you want, they can't hear you!
Raji: No, because... No! No! No!
Ray: Here's another one, right, here's another one, right, now hang on, this is a bit complicated, this one... right, what is a nun, right...
Ed: Oh for fuck's sake...
Ray: what is a nun what has a javelin in it, right, and can't turn around in the corridor? Why! A newspaper! So that's a good one.
Ray: Right, what, right, what is black and white, right, and you read it, right, and it isn't a penguin...?
Raji: (As Ray says "A newsp...") That is a newspaper.
Ray: DON'T RUIN THE PUNCHLINE, RAJI! What's brown and sits in my livingroom outstaying its welcome?
(Split section music starts)
Series 4 Episode 4
Raji: ...And whereabouts does Fearn Cotton live?
Ray: On my face mate, on my face.