Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
It sounds like there could be a couple of things going on here. Most likely, you may have dysthymia. It is characterized by a low grade depression, lack of productivity, dissatisfaction with daily life, low attention span and trouble concentrating.
You could also have ADHD, which causes trouble sitting still, difficulty with concentration, and disorganization. This does not sound like the symptoms you are describing, but if you were to have a psychological evaluation, it would need to be ruled out.
Dysthymia usually starts when you are young. It is not certain what causes it. It can be genetic, biochemical or environmental in origin. But whatever the cause, your emotionally abusive marriage most likely added to the complications from dysthymia. Emotional abuse can be just as devastating as physical abuse. The tools used to demean you and control you affect your self esteem and feelings of worth. It would compound the symptoms of dysthymia and make it harder to cope with.
Depending on how severe your symptoms are, medication can help. Medication can take the symptoms down to a manageable level until therapy can start to take effect. Therapy is the best option to ultimately deal with and cure your dysthymia. You can find a therapist through your family doctor or search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/.
Although therapy is the best option, you can help yourself at home as well. Understanding your problem and knowing more about how to help yourself can go a long way to making you feel better. Here are some resources to get you started:
Beating the Blues: New Approaches to Overcoming Dysthymia and Chronic Mild Depression by Michael E. Thase M.D. and Susan S. Lang
The Mindful Way through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness by XXXXX XXXXX, XXXXX Teasdale, Zindel Segal and Jon Kabat-Zinn
Undoing Depression by Richard O'Connor
You can find these books on Amazon.com or if you have a library near you, they may have them as well.
I hope this has helped you,Kate
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