Telling someone you are a schizophrenic can be as difficult as coming out of the closet for a gay person or telling someone you are a Yankees fan.
We are all mutated cells, meaning we are not perfect. If more people could see a mental illness like that, then the world would be a better place for those diagnosed with schizophrenia. There is little education about how to be friends with a schizophrenic. Even though they may have symptoms under control, many schizophrenics feel they cannot be open about their illness for fear of being judged or labeled.
So when do you tell someone you are schizophrenic? I usually use this response, “I had a mental breakdown when I was in the Army,” and then I leave it at that. If the person inquires further, I might answer that I don’t want to talk about it.
I have told people I am schizophrenic before, and for the most part, they had no response. If it is another veteran such as myself, they usually say, “I am sorry you had to go through that.”
I often wonder if someone would understand if I told them about my diagnosis? When I tell someone, will they imagine a gunman, like the one in Arizona or the one at Virginia Tech?
Once when I was going to get a haircut, I had some time to kill, so I went to the bar beside my barber shop. There was a man sitting at the bar having a conversation with himself. Many of us diagnosed with schizophrenia have conversations with ourselves. Someone had told me that this person was schizophrenic. They used the gesture where their finger goes around in circles close to the temple on their head to tell me what was wrong with the man.
They said, “He has issues. He is crazy.”
This response made me mad so I said, “So am I.”
They laughed. “No, I mean he’s like schizophrenic.”
I smiled and nodded.
Back at the bar near my barber shop, a lady was sitting on the other side of the man, along with her friends. She stared at him for a few seconds and then turned around to her friends.
“He asked me if I was a spy,” she told her friends.
I eventually got my haircut and decided to go back to the bar to see if I could talk to the man or even help him in some way, but he was gone.
Usually when I tell someone about my diagnosis of schizophrenia, it is because our conversation is about feelings or emotions. Some of those people have gone on to ask me, “What is it like?”
I do my best to explain by answering that I constantly question what is real and what is not. I become the educator, trying my best to explain to them that this mental health diagnosis can be treated.