Top five reasons why computers must be male
- They're heavily dependent on external tools and equipment.
- They periodically cut you off right when you think you've established a network connection.
- They'll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won't do more than they have to and they won't think of it on their own.
- They're typically obsolete within five years and need to be traded in for a new model. Some users, however, feel they've already invested so much in the damn machine that they're compelled to remain with an underpowered system.
- They get hot when you turn them on, and that's the only time you have their attention.
Top five reasons why computers must be female
- No one but their creator understands their logic.
- Even the smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
- The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
- The message, "Bad command or filename," is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".
- As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.