Fatherhood Guide: Traditions & Values
Illustrate values through examplesYou're not going to sit your kid down and take him through a dry, detailed account of the values you consider important (well, not with any success you’re not). Children don’t learn effectively that way.
Instead, keep your eyes out for opportunities to communicate those values. If you share the values taught in your religion, take them out from the quiet worship and animate them with visible, practical examples.
Experience is the most effective teacher. You might give your child the same lesson numerous times, but it won’t sink in until he is forced by circumstances to confront it. All any parent can do is hope that they have done enough to instill in their children the right set of values that the child both understands and follows.
Acknowledge the limitsIn the end, you only have so much influence over the development of your child and you can only do so much to steer them along the path you believe is the right one. Your child will pursue his interests and resent some of your decisions and impositions, but no matter what you do, this is your best way to set the right examples in your home and hope your child will see them.
A certain amount of force-feeding values or family traditions to a reluctant child is not likely to see much success and may even backfire on you, but it nonetheless is purposeful in reminding the child that, as a member of the family, there will rarely be times when their lack of participation is acceptable.
Just don’t lose sight of the fact that family traditions, old and new, are the products of a slow-moving process and they can survive changes that you might make to them. The crucial thing is to rally your family together around these traditions and in accordance with your value system so that your child can experience them and adopt them for themselves.
the golden rule of traditions
Family traditions don’t sustain themselves.