Be as honest as possible about where you're going and why, says panelist Lizabeth Fox. Make sure they know it is not their fault. It's essential to keep the line of communication open.
"Explain to your children that even moms make mistakes and this is like an adult time-out," says panelist Joanne Nigito-Raftas. "Most kids know what jail is. Explain you are very sorry for what you did but there are consequences."
Let your children know that you are still their mother and you still love them, Fox says.
Get all "your ducks in a row," says panelist Michael Daniels. Make sure you have identified a caregiver.
Talk to your lawyer to make sure the caretaker can legally sign school and other documents for your children, Nigito-Raftas adds.
"Have a family meeting and present the whole plan to your children," says panelist Mary Lou Scarf.
Make sure they understand that just because you did something bad you are not all bad, you just made a bad choice, Nigito-Raftas says.
"Children need to know there is good in mom," she says. "Otherwise they will think if she's bad, then we must be bad."
Talk to your caretaker to coordinate continued contact with the children through letters, cards and visits if they are permitted, Scarf says.
"Often a child's biggest worry is if mom is OK," Nigito-Raftas says. "Writing frequent letters helps you let them know you're fine."
Some prisons have a program through which mothers can read books and record them for their children, says Fox. If not, you might be able to record yourself reading to the children.
The children should visit mom if they can, the panel says. Older children can decide when they are ready to do that. For younger children, visiting prison can be scary so encourage them to talk about their feelings about mom being in prison.
See if your children's school offers a program for kids who have absent parents, Daniels says.Read/Post Comment