Texas veterinarian and genetic researcher Dr. Melba S. Ketchum of Nacogdoches says that after 5 years studying the DNA of what they claim to be "bigfoot hair", her and her team have confirmed the existence of a hominin hybrid species. Dr. Ketchum, founder of DNA Diagnostics Inc., located in Timpson, Texas claims that the legendary Bigfoot (or Sasquatch as he/she is commonly known) is indeed real; a result of a human woman mating with an unknown hominin about 15,000 years ago. “The genome sequencing shows that Sasquatch mtDNA is identical to modern Homo sapiens, but Sasquatch nuDNA is a novel, unknown hominin related to Homo sapiens and other primate species,” said Ketchum in a press release. “Our data indicate that the North American Sasquatch is a hybrid species, the result of males of an unknown hominin species crossing with female Homo sapiens.”
Many burning questions about the study are still unanswered. It has yet to be peer reviewed or actually published in a reputable scientific journal, and the actual concrete science behind the study remains a mystery, much like the location of the creature itself. Critics are quick to point out that the claims of DNA irregularities do not necessarily mean that the DNA isn't human. There's also the nagging question of where the "Bigfoot hair" samples came from. Last time we checked, there weren't a whole lot of Sasquatch frequenting barber shops or beauty salons.
Still, Dr. Ketchum remains unperturbed by the snickering and sneering from the scientific community. “Genetically, the Sasquatch are a human hybrid with unambiguously modern human maternal ancestry. Government at all levels must recognize them as an indigenous people and immediately protect their human and Constitutional rights against those who would see in their physical and cultural differences a ‘license’ to hunt, trap, or kill them.”