I find that my urges to binge and restrict calories come from a dark, hateful, and angry place inside of me. I have compulsive thoughts about how ugly, fat, stupid, worthless I am. Now that I'm aware that I have these thoughts I identify them and don't respond emotionally to them. Urges to binge, or restrict, or punish myself, or nasty thoughts just get ignored.
I imagine it's an evil part of my brain that is whispering me these things. It can't make "me" (or the part of conscious part of my brain that is in control of my actions) do anything. It can just whisper and throw tantrums and give me urges. Once I separated the two I didn't really have any problems with binging and purging (I'm recovering from bulimia). I focus on loving my body as it is and nurturing myself. It's been a slow process but I've seen results.
I found the following book tremendously helpful - "Brain Over Binge" by Kathryn Hansen
"Things are as they are. Looking out into it the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations." - Alan Watts