Middle class ketamine users 'risk delusions of cool'
RECREATIONAL sedative ketamine can induce the false belief of coolness in well-heeled teenagers, scientists have claimed.
The chemical horse cosh has become a popular party favour in recent years, with over 300,000 UK users.
But there is increasing evidence that the drug causes teenagers from stable, loving middle-income homes to construct ‘edgy’ alter egos.
These adopted personae typically wear battered top hats with moss-coloured hooded tops pocked with ‘blim burns’ and claim to enjoy Estonian turbo-folk music.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “The potency of Ketamine is such it can make a barrister’s son from Windsor believe he is someone called ‘DJ Che Headfuck’ and organise dubstep raves in pub skittle alleys that smell of piss.
“Besides an obsession with ‘free parties’ and evil-looking mongrel dogs called things like Bender, there is a general sense of existing outside of the capitalist ‘regime’.
“Apparently the buying and selling of drugs isn’t a capitalist transaction if you either spend the money on Special Brew or just lose it down the back of a car seat.”
He added: “In extreme cases the user may create bad verse about the ‘New World Order aborting foetuses in da womb with $$$ death rays’ and write it on the wall of an underpass in Bristol.
“By this stage there is little that can be done.”