Regional holidays are funny things. What matters right to the core to the native-born seems like gobbledy-gook to everyone else.
You can do a Mad Lib of a typical Texas commemoration and a typical New England one. So I will, and I promise to offend both groups equally.
The brave ___________ fought valiantly against the ________. The ________ triumphed, thus setting the stage for _________. Some ___ (number in the single or low double digits) of the alleged good guys were killed. After that, Texas was a country for a while and then a state and then it seceded and then it went back, all of which gave Gov. Rick “The ____” Perry the opportunity to say some very strange things last week, such as _________.
The brave colonists fought valiantly against the _________, who actually did own the land (Indians) or thought they did (British). Some _____ (number in the single or low double digits) of the alleged good guys were killed in each encounter. The colonies became a country, and expensive private colleges were founded and named after people who _______ and ________. (Note: One of the blanks must be filled with “gave smallpox-infected blankets to Indians.”) Nowadays, the commemorations involve ______ and _____, and the Indians run huge, lucrative ______.