With Kids About Alcohol and Drugs
of drugs can be very confusing to young children. If drugs are so
dangerous, then why is the family medicine cabinet full of them?
And why do TV, movies, music and advertising often make drug and
alcohol use look so cool?
to help our kids to distinguish fact from fiction. And it's not
too soon to begin. National studies show that the average age when
a child first tries alcohol is 11; for marijuana, it's 12. And many
kids start becoming curious about these substances even sooner.
So let's get started!
surveys reveal that when parents listen to their children's feelings
and concerns, their kids feel comfortable talking with them and
are more likely to stay drug-free.
play how to say "no"
ways in which your child can refuse to go along with his friends
without becoming a social outcast. Try something like this, "Let's
play a game. Suppose you and your friends are at Andy's house after
school and they find some beer in the refrigerator and ask you to
join them in drinking it. The rule in our family is that children
are not allowed to drink alcohol. So what could you say?"
child comes up with a good response, praise him. If he doesn't,
offer a few suggestions like, "No, thanks. Let's play with
Sony PlayStation instead," or "No thanks. I don't drink
beer. I need to keep in shape for basketball."
your child plenty of opportunity to become a confident decision-maker.
An 8-year-old is capable of deciding if she wants to invite lots
of friends to her birthday party or just a close pal or two. A 12-year-old
can choose whether she wants to go out for chorus or join the school
band. As your child becomes more skilled at making all kinds of
good choices, both you and she will feel more secure in her ability
to make the right decision concerning alcohol and drugs if and when
the time arrives.
the information that you offer fits the child's age and stage. When
your 6 or 7-year-old is brushing his teeth, you can say, "There
are lots of things we do to keep our bodies healthy, like brushing
our teeth. But there are also things we shouldn't do because they
hurt our bodies, like smoking or taking medicines when we are not
are watching TV with your 8 year-old and marijuana is mentioned
on a program, you can say, "Do you know what marijuana is?
It's a bad drug that can hurt your body." If your child has
more questions, answer them. If not, let it go. Short, simple comments
said and repeated often enough will get the message across.
offer your older child the same message, but add more drug-specific
information. For example, you might explain to your 12-year-old
what marijuana and crack look like, their street names and how they
can affect his body.
a clear family position on drugs
to say, "We don't allow any drug use and children in this family
are not allowed to drink alcohol. The only time that you can take
any drugs is when the doctor or Mom or Dad gives you medicine when
you're sick. We made this rule because we love you very much and
we know that drugs can hurt your body and make you very sick; some
may even kill you. Do you have any questions?"
a good example
will do what you do much more readily than what you say. So try
not to reach for a beer the minute you come home after a tough day;
it sends the message that drinking is the best way to unwind. Offer
dinner guests non-alcoholic drinks in addition to wine and spirits.
And take care not to pop pills, even over-the-counter remedies,
indiscriminately. Your behavior needs to reflect your beliefs.
what makes a good friend
peer pressure is so important when it comes to kids' involvement
with drugs and alcohol, it makes good sense to talk with your children
about what makes a good friend. To an 8-year-old you might say,
"A good friend is someone who enjoys the same games and activities
that you do and who is fun to be around." 11 to 12-year-olds
can understand that a friend is someone who shares their values
and experiences, respects their decisions and listens to their feelings.
Once you've gotten these concepts across, your children will understand
that "friends" who pressure them to drink or smoke pot
aren't friends at all. Additionally, encouraging skills like sharing
and cooperation -- and strong involvement in fun, healthful activities
(such as team sports or scouting) -- will help your children make
and maintain good friendships as they mature and increase the chance
that they'll remain drug-free.
feel good about themselves are much less likely than other kids
to turn to illegal substances to get high.
we can do many things to enhance our children's self-image. Here
are some pointers:
lots of praise for any job well done.
you need to criticize your child, talk about the action, not the
person. If your son gets a math problem wrong, it's better
to say, "I think you added wrong. Let's try again."
do-able chores. A 6-year-old can bring her plate over to the sink after
dinner; a 12-year-old can feed and walk the dog after school.
Performing such duties and being praised for them helps your child
feel good about himself.
one-on-one time with your youngster.
Setting aside at least 15 uninterrupted minutes per child per
day to talk, play a game, or take a walk together, lets her know
"I love you." Nothing will make your child feel better.
and lessons about drugs are important enough to repeat frequently.
So be sure to answer your children's questions as often as they
ask them to initiate conversation whenever the opportunity arises.
you suspect a problem, seek help
kids under age 12 rarely develop a substance problem, it can --
and does -- happen. If your child becomes withdrawn, loses weight,
starts doing poorly in school, turns extremely moody, has glassy
eyes -- or if the drugs in your medicine cabinet seem to be disappearing
too quickly -- talk with your child and reach out to any one of
the organizations listed here. You'll be helping your youngster
to a healthier, happier future.
do people take bad or illegal drugs?
are lots of reasons. Maybe they don't know how dangerous they are.
Or maybe they feel bad about themselves or don't know how to handle
their problems. Or maybe they don't have parents they can talk to.
Why do you think they do it?
are some drugs good and some drugs bad for you?
get sick, the drugs the doctor gives you will help you get better.
But if you take these drugs when you're healthy, they can make you
sick. Also, there are some drugs, like marijuana or crack, that
are never good for you. To be safe, never ever take any drugs unless
Mom, Dad or the doctor says it's okay.