Get ready to sob uncontrollably, because pop music is having a massive sulky lipwobble. It's like that Harry Potter book where JK Rowling suddenly remembered teenagers can get sullen and self-involved, so every other paragraph said, "Harry was consumed with frustration" or "I just feel so angry, all the time".
If you're in the mood to wrap yourself in a duvet and stare vacantly out the window thinking about the sheer futility of existence, here's the perfect soundtrack.
ARTIST: WILLOW SMITH (yes, that Willow Smith)
Title: Sugar And Spice
Really deep lyric: "I tried to be Sugar and Spice, but I'm melancholy and can't do anything right"
Reasons to be cheerful: Samples Radiohead's gloomy Pyramid Song
Misery rating: 9/10
ARTIST: SKY FERREIRA
Title: Everything Is Embarrassing
Really deep lyric: "I've been hating everything"
Giving the game away: About 3'28" into her debut TV performance, Sky breaks character with a brief dance flourish. Hang on - she's not glum at all, is she?
Misery rating: 6/10
Title: Thinkin' About You
Really deep lyric: "My eyes don't shed tears but, boy, they bawl"
Wet blanket bonus: AlunaGeorge are covering "boo-hoo" songmeister Frank Ocean
Misery rating: 8/10