Golf, More Than Just a Sleep Aid
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Category: Sports > Spring > Golf (Men's)
It's official: Watching golf is the perfect impetus for a tranquil, long-lasting, uninterrupted nap. The velvety, whispering voices of the commentators paired with the serene, slow-pace of the players generates a euphoric bliss for viewers to drift off to sleep.
But have you ever attempted to play? Not so blissful.
Imagine standing at the edge of a cliff, staring across a bottomless gorge. Two hundred yards in front of you, a 30-foot wide lane of plush green grass emerges. To the right of this lustrous green path grows a forest of never-ending trees like something out of the movie Jumanji. The sound of waves crashing alerts you to the left, where the pure blue of the ocean extends to the vast horizon. Sprinkled along the green grass are deeply entrenched pits of despair, also known as sand traps. The field for which you're aiming is on a massive slope from left to right.
Task: Hit a ball over the canyon, avoid the pits of despair, so that it lands, and stays, in the green area. Now do it with a three-foot metal stick and a ball the size of a macaroon.
I don't understand why anyone would consider golf just a game, or a leisure activity, because it is without a doubt more difficult than any other sport around.
In golf, you can't rely on the pitcher to throw strikes or the 7-foot center to block shots. No referees to call "holding on the defense" and no shot clock. No teammates. No allies. No scapegoats.
In golf, it's just you and the course.
But what I love most about golf is that there is not a single tee shot, approach to the green, chip or putt that doesn't demand the competitor to do the single hardest thing under pressure: think. Not to mention the fact that rarely, if ever, do players have to hit the same shot twice in one round. Just like surfing, no wave is ever the same. Consequently, golfers must expect the unexpected, but simultaneously be able to produce a wide and diverse array of shots.
The naysayers of golf have been rolling their eyes thus far because they would never equate the pressure of a "real" sport, like baseball, to that of golf. And rightfully so-in golf there are never 50,000 fans thunderously yelling as you stand at the plate with the bases loaded, a 3-2 count, in the bottom of the ninth and down one run.
Instead, golfers endure their own form of pressure and must shine in absolute, dead silence. Down one on the last hole, 2,000 people circulate around the 18th green, with the leaderboard raised above the crowd, a sign of the players' fates ready to be sealed. From 165 yards away, a golfer visualizes his or her shot, strategizing how to get the ball as close as possible to the red flag stick tucked in the back right of the lightning-fast green. Set on an incline to the right, an emerald blue lake thirsts for golf balls that have strayed off-line.
The golfer prepares to hit, then suddenly, a monstrous wind picks up and the flag swerves back and forth. Without any conscious doing, the mind is held hostage in the realm of unknown possibilities. Palms begin to sweat. Knees start to shake. Dreadful thoughts clutter the mind. It's like becoming the physical embodiment of that horrendous Eminem song, "Lose Yourself": "Knees weak / arms are heavy / he's nervous."
Such an obstacle cannot be compared to 0.4 seconds on the shot clock, needing a three-pointer to win the championship in basketball or throwing a hail Mary into a sea of defenders in football. These feats do not simply require physical exertion, but they demand patience, foresight, strategy, confidence and power over mind and body.
"Any endeavor where your body's coordination and stamina play a determining role in the outcome-that's a sport," says Kevin Lynn, a local radio commentator for WILK. "Any endeavor where your mind and heart and confidence and guts can have an impact on your body and ultimately the outcome of the contest-that's a sport."
People perpetuating narrow-minded judgments about golf have probably never even attempted to play. They assume golf is for old, fat, rich white guys driving around in golf carts.
At the forefront of changing such intolerant views has been the most dominant athlete of this decade, Tiger Woods. His legendary dedication to fitness has helped set a new standard for golf both as a sport and an athletic endeavor. His basic routine includes stretching, core exercises, strength and flexibility workouts, cardio and weight training. He is built as well as any point guard in the NBA or wide receiver in the NFL. Woods has defied the norm and redefined what it means to be a golfer.
There is more to golf than Happy Gilmore. Going to the golf course to hit some balls at the range or playing a round of golf can be an escape; from financial issues, relationship problems, school work. In my eyes, golfers have always been like artists; they too are in a perpetual search for what is right, constantly experimenting.
Does golf put you to sleep? Tell Will at [email protected]
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