Bullying: A different approach
Here are some different approaches to bullying you might like to consider:
- The bullying experience is made up of observable (behaviours) and hidden (meaning, beliefs and states) components.
- Most common definitions of bullying have four components; intention to cause harm; is repeated, involves an interaction between people and a perceived power imbalance.
- The behaviour of the bully and a power imbalance are the focus of most definitions of bullying, and how the target thinks is usually ignored.
- The two missing, yet crucial components of the bullying experience are how the target thinks about the bullying (the beliefs and meanings of the target), and the unresourceful state of the target.
- Your child’s beliefs, meanings and states play a major part in their shaping their bullying experience.
- The success or failure of the bullying attempt is ultimately determined by the meaning your child gives it.
- State plays a major role in how your child experiences bullying.
- While the behaviour and intention of the bully is out of the control of your child, they can control their responses, including what they think, feel, say and do.
- The effectiveness of the bullying behaviour is determined by the meaning your child gives the behaviour.
- Bullies are children making really bad decisions about how they treat others based on their understanding of the world.
- Parents who are of most help to their child are the ones who have taken the time to inform themselves about how bullying works, and have firstly explored their own thinking and feeling about bullying.