Dear friends and writers,
I am writing today to ask for an open call that addresses an issue dear to my heart: Public Ball Scratching.
While I agree that the "how much stuff can you shove up your ass" open call was a fine writing challenge. We already know it's inhumane to shove a gerbil in a sphincter, so it seems a mute discussion. Also ass-stuffing has been such a widely discussed topic here on OS and other places - it's just not controversial or edgy enough.
Here are some topics we really need to discuss:
When is scratching or adjusting balls in public ok?
How familiar should you be with a woman before you make 6 adjustments in her presence?
In What ways could it impact your career if you discuss your itchy balls with your coworkers? Supervisor?
When should you point out that itchy balls may be a medical problem?
When is it ok to tell someone that their incessant scratching is distracting to the point of ridiculousness and they really need to work from home?
Is it ever ok to confront a ball scratcher about his behavior while holding a giant pair of scissors?
Update: Some definitions for OS.
Lets talk about Harbl = Harbl is a common internet meme that joins the words hairball and balls, and commonly refers to the un-neutered male cats. Extra RRRs can be added based on the size of the Harbl. For example if referring to a giant male area one might write