I like to follow the guidelines of appropriate usage of ki. In the dojo, I consider taking a pin beyond a tap excessive... therefore, probably 'violent'.
Anything beyond what is needed in a technique, to me, skirts the 'violent' label.
I really can see your view here, as it is something I experience myself a copule years ago. I hooked up with an instructor who had the capability to show very effective technique, but didn't generally teach that in class. I like this approach a lot -- show the capability of a technique occasionally, without risking a classmate, but just teach what is needed.
Great post, Jeff, this is a good pointed inquiry.