Eating fish DOES make you smart. If you're a woman... with wide hips...
Smart women eat fish!
This is Sandra Tsing Loh with the Loh Down on Science
saying that old chestnut about eating fish making you smart? It's apparently true. For females. With wide hips.
Everyone else? We're DOOMED!
So say researchers at the University of Pittsburgh. Except for the part about being doomed.
The researchers studied four-thousand children in a national survey. After controlling for parents' income, education, and similar factors, they found that kids who ate fish scored significantly higher on cognitive tests.
They also found that fish-eating GIRLS, especially those with wide hips, scored even higher than fish-eating boys.
Why the hip correlation? Researchers speculate it's because our bodies store different fats in different locations.
Our hips are where we tuck brain-boosting omega-three fatty acids, and most omega-three comes from eating fish.
The more of the stuff we have on board, the more we have available to boost brain function. Thus, the theory goes, wider hips would make for smarter girls.
And saddle bags on full-grown women's thighs? Genius! But do we have to eat the fish? How about chocolate mini Dove Bars? Just asking.