The budget's small, your children's holiday dreams are big. How do we temper their expectations?
Aside from a beautiful dollhouse my sister and I received one Christmas, I can't remember any of the gifts I got during my childhood. What I do remember are baking cookies while listening to and singing Christmas carols; helping my father string lights and decorate our tree one piece of tinsel at a time; watching "Rudolph," "Frosty" and "The Grinch"; sitting at a long table on Christmas Day amid the boisterous chatter of my 10 brothers and sisters. I would urge families to cultivate some holiday traditions, which over time will become treasured holiday memories.
-- Mary Rayis
Ask your kids if they'd rather have one big present or several smaller presents; that way you make them feel like it was their decision. With younger kids, more is always better, so purchase books, CDs, arts and crafts materials and kits, which each are relatively inexpensive. For older kids, try add-ons to last year's expensive gift, such as music downloads, DVDs or clothes/outfits for their American Girl doll.
-- Janet Oak
Make sure everyone is getting the same share, and plan activities that include the whole family: ice skating or (a trip to see) the local Christmas tree. Take them somewhere to donate their time or make gifts to send to the troops or children in need.
-- Eva Rios
Kids feel our mood. If you are upset because you can't give them everything they want, they will be upset. So, don't be upset.
-- Marie Grass Amenta
Cutting back can be a gift, says Michele Borba, an educational psychologist and author of "The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries" (Jossey-Bass, 2009).
"The kids learn to appreciate people and the gathering, instead of focusing on store-bought items -- usually quickly forgotten -- and in the end are less spoiled," she says. Borba offers these tips to keep festivities merry and bright.
*Announce your scale-down plan, with specifics, such as fewer gifts for everyone, or just adults, or a specific money cap. Preface the plan by explaining calmly and briefly that money is tighter this year so everyone will be receiving fewer presents. "The key is to give your kids a heads-up far enough in advance to keep their expectations in check as the holiday season rolls around," she says.
*Suggest handmade instead of store-bought. Specify that a certain number of gifts should be no-cost items. "Kids can have fun making gift coupons that describe their gift from their heart to a recipient, such as a promise to call Grandma once a week, a pledge to bake cookies for Grandpa or a vow to take out the trash for Mom sans nagging," Borba says.
*Think one "family gift." Start a tradition: Have your extended family think of one group outing such as going to see "The Nutcracker." That memory may last far longer than the toys.
-- Compiled by Wendy Donahue, Tribune Newspapers
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