Say “hooligan,” and most will picture alcohol-fed football (soccer) fans of limited tooth count smashing one another in the face. Their vehicular equivalents have a similar appetite for volatile fuels—you’ll see no vehicle here listed on any EPA “greenest” list. The applied violence here, however, results in nothing more than glares from onlookers and childish laughter inside the cabin from such behavior as burnouts, power slides, large applications of torque, and general tomfoolery.
Smooth is fast, but sideways is fun. Why? Because it is. Those who don’t get sideways won’t like burnouts, either. It’s like asking a certain segment of the population why they insist on using pillow shams, which should be removed before using a pillow for things such as sleeping.
These cars are built to take the abuse. Outsize personalities need to be backed up by overbuilt hardware, and these vehicles deliver. Although hooligan vehicles might look a bit menacing, their talents aren’t always overtly broadcast. Often, those that boast loudest fail, such as Chevrolet’s thankfully offed SSR. Driving it was like tucking an oversized, blunt bowie knife into your belt and walking around a sporting goods show.
Torque and hooliganism go together like Sunday mornings and winding roads. All the vehicles here dish it up—except for maybe the last one, a shortcoming easily compensated for with total mechanical indifference (think rental car) and dutiful applications of gravity (all cars accelerate at the same speed when pushed off a cliff).Continued...