|Reviews for Pokémon: Lelouch of the Rebellion|
| Farla chapter 1 . 4/20/2010
You wouldn't capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn't capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you're using it as the pokemon's name, ie, Ash's pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it's a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you're thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.
This isn't much of a story, and doesn't make any sense even on its own merits.
You start off by saying Japan is strong because they're the only area that has pokemon of all types. Only that shouldn't really matter much - even if Brazil, as you say, only has bug types, Brazil is a hell of a lot bigger than Japan, and would have more than enough to overwhelm Japan even if every last pokemon they had was a fire type.
[There was another island nation.
One on the other side of the world, and like most of the other nations, few species of Pokémon were native to this country naturally.
Most of them were the likes of Magikarp, Growlithe and Seedot, but this island nation was abundant in two Types of Pokémon:
Steel. And Dragon.
This island nation was rich in Dragonite, Tyranitar, Aggron, Steelix, Salamence, Flygon, Garchomp, Metagross, Lucario, Forretress…
The Pokémon of this island were strong.]
So, they had pokemon that would lose to gyarados, which were possessed by most of their neighbors? (Tyranitar isn't even dragon type!) Yeah, I can see how they'd be unstoppable. It's not like there are a lot of pokemon that can use water and ice moves or anything, and certainly fire moves are nonexistent.
Seriously, dragon pokemon aren't an autowin button, and your attempt to make them look more impressive by listing the unevolved forms for their neighbors and fully evolved forms for them is transparent and ineffective, especially when they're largely ones that require L55 to reach.
[The people of this island went out on ships to new lands and conquered.
They fought other countries, their powerful Pokémon as perfect weapons.
America, Canada, Mexico, Greenland, Iceland, South America, Hawaii, The Falklands, New Zealand, Indochina, The Philippines, Cambodia, Papua New Guinea, the Southern Pacific Islands, Korea, Indonesia, The Middle East, even Japan succumbed to their great armies of Pokémon.
Oh, Japan's Pokémon were varied, and powerful, but as a small island nation, they could only hold out against the enemy for so long.]
By "the enemy", you realize you're talking about another small island nation? No? It's in the opening line of this section!
[Japan had been stripped of its name and divided into regions, Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, and more.]
THE GAME REGIONS ARE BASED ON THE FACT JAPAN IS DIVIDED INTO REGIONS. ALREADY. AS IN CURRENTLY, AT THIS STATE IN TIME. GOOGLE KANTO OR SOMETHING, SERIOUSLY, FIVE SECONDS OF RESEARCH.
[The original inhabitants of the nation were made into lower-class citizens, made to bow daily to the foreigners that owned their land.
These foreigners made gyms, a Pokémon League even, a whole system based on the idea that those with the strongest Pokémon were the ones with power, the ones who dictated how the world turned.
There were those who fought against this system. Team Rocket, funded by their European benefactor, fought tooth and nail against this oppressive empire, but they were broken by a child whose sole claim to power was the foreign blood in his veins and the Pokémon he carried on his belt.
They couldn't even get weapons to fight against this boy; guns belonged to the army, everyone else had to make do with their Pokéballs.
But it wasn't just the broken natives who fought against this oppression, this dictatorship.]
a) A system that says those with the strongest pokemon rule doesn't work with a class society unless you ALSO ban those "lower class" people from having pokemon. Otherwise they're all equal and are just being whiners about the whole "dictatorship" business.
b) " child whose sole claim to power was the foreign blood in his veins and the Pokémon he carried on his belt." So, aside from the fact two things are not sole, his claim to power was that technically he had a lot? Maybe next they could whine about how the genius' sole claim to intelligence was being really smart. Hey, does the fighting dojo get bricks thrown through its windows over how their sole claim to physical strength is that they're really strong? UNDESERVING FASCIST OPPRESSORS!
c) OH NOES THEY CAN'T HAVE GUNS AND HAVE TO MAKE DUE WITH POKEMON! Because it's not like a bunch of people just took over the world with pokemon OH WAIT THEY DID. Who the hell wants guns at that point?
d) In conclusion, if the natives, given the exact same access to pokemon, consistently get their asses kicked by foreigner ten year olds, then they pretty much deserve getting their stupid asses conquered.
...and now the oppressors, who beat the entire damn world on a strong platform of using the hell out of their uber pokemon, are...using guns. Because.
Also, are we supposed to be supporting random sue guy there? Because all we know about him is he's getting threatened by the military after he used his pokemon to fight them, followed by his sue power kicking in and him mind-controlling them into shooting themselves. Maybe your next character could be introduced robbing a bank, then shoot at the police a bit, and when he's out of bullets he can shout about how the police are a bunch of fascist pigs until his magic sue power kicks in and he murders all of them.
| pokespefan chapter 1 . 4/20/2010
. . .
Wow . . .
this should be interesting.
if there's gonna be a next chapter, then is this gonna be set on the manga(pokemon adventures)/videogame version or anime version.
I like the manga Pokemon Adventures (or pokemon special in japan), even though it's a bit violent, but i like how the male and female protagonists and the rivals from pokemon videogame genereations appeared in the manga series (and I'm still waiting for some updates and Diamond and Pearl Chapter, Platinum Chapter, and Heartsgold and Soulsilver chapter as well). And I kinda love their names(being named after the videogame versions): Red, Green(Blue in US), Blue(Green in US), Yellow, Gold, Silver, Crystal (or Krys or Chris), Ruby, Sapphire, Emerald, Diamond, Pearl, and Platinum (or Platina).
And you do know that they are planing on the new game "Pokemon Black Version and Pokemon White Version" on Nintendo DS, right? . . . yeah . . . I wonder if there's gonna be a Black and White Chapter for Pokemon Special Manga?
like i said, this fanfic is very interesting. with some explanation of pokemon world in japan, even america, europe, etc. and . . . Code Geass!
. . . interesting . . .
| Tetsui chapter 1 . 4/20/2010
Oh...My...God...THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME THING I'VE EVER HEARD OF! I pray to GOD someone writes this!
| Patcheresu chapter 1 . 4/20/2010
Happy birthday MAH BOI
| NightmareSyndrom chapter 1 . 4/20/2010
That was good. I would like to see more of this.
| Biigoh chapter 1 . 4/20/2010
Totally awesome fusion/cross-over. I do hope you'll continue the CG/Pokemon fic. _
| ByLanternLight chapter 1 . 4/20/2010
*kersplode* WHY! WHY IS IT YOU TAUNT US WITH AWESOMENESS ONLY TO LEAVE US!
| Silith145 chapter 1 . 4/20/2010
Code Geass Pokemon. Strange combination.
| SirLuciousWolf chapter 1 . 4/20/2010
Being that i'm your first reviewer (sweet!) I'm going to tell you how much I love your story and how much I think you def. continue.
See you soon