Over the years, I’ve observed that many times the initial reaction to tragedy often dictates the final outcome of the situation.
I’m not talking about our split second response to disappointment, but the way a person responds in the days and weeks following the receipt of an unfortunate situation. Initially we react with emotions. That’s normal. The key is how we respond after the initial shock is gone. Ideally, as we mature, our response time should improve, shortening the reaction from the purely emotional release, which is natural, to the more confident and assured position, which is making rational decisions in spite of our emotional state.
Doing that takes discipline and practice.
Many people, it seems to me, never move beyond the emotional response and it cripples their potential for future recovery.
Let me give you an example.
Recently my oldest son Jeremy lost his job. His company downsized and, what he thought was a stable position, suddenly disappeared. He had been married less than a year and had weeks earlier purchased his first home. Jeremy is very mature for his age, so he handled the news better than some might have, but you can imagine the shock and disappointment was big for him.
For the first 24 hours he was numb, afraid, even a bit angry. I knew then that his reaction to this unexpected change of events would greatly determine his recovery period. I encouraged from the sidelines, but knew he ultimately had to own his response.
What happened? The next day he went to work. He weighed his options. He developed a plan. He took immediate action towards reaching his objective. The plans changed a few times in the coming weeks, but his resolve and confidence remained steadfast. Today he’s successfully working for himself. He’s only a couple months in, but already the signs of success are apparent. He’s recovering from disappointment into a better position, with more flexibility and job security, than he had previously. I’m so proud of him.
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The initial response to disappointment or uncertainty often determines the quality of recovery.
This principle has Biblical implications. Recently I saw this principle reading about Nehemiah. Nehemiah had just learned the wall of his home city had been destroyed. His people were in jeopardy. The potential for devastation to the Jews was huge.
How did Nehemiah respond?
“As soon as I heard these words I sat down and wept and mourned for days” Nehemiah 1:4
That was his emotional response. Perfectly normal.
What happened next?
“and I continued fasting and praying before the God of heaven.”
That was his rational response. A sign of maturity.
Nehemiah knew that ultimately the protection of his people was God’s business, not his. He called upon God, because he knew that ultimately God was in control. In spite of the circumstances around him, God could be trusted.
There’s another example. Nehemiah was the cupbearer for the king. On one of his visits to serve the king, the king notices Nehemiah is not his bubbly personality as usual. The king asked Nehemiah what was wrong.
Look at Nehemiah’s response:
Then the king said to me, “What are you requesting?” Nehemiah 2:4
Imagine you’re standing before the most powerful man in the world and he asks you to state a request on your behalf. As we later learn, Nehemiah’s request would take him out of the king’s service. It was a huge request. How Nehemaih responded would greatly determine the outcome.
What did Nehemiah do in that moment? Verse 4 continues:
“So I prayed to the God of Heaven. And I said to the king…” (verses 4-5)
This time Nehemiah had less time to react. His initial reaction would greatly impact the quality of the response he received from the king. What happened next was greatly determined by his initial reaction.
Are you in the midst of a crisis? Have you received bad news? Are you disappointed with where your life is headed?
Your initial response may determine your future recovery.
Have you seen this principle at work?