This one was in my local paper this morning:
After this was finished, Dick then stripped the little kiddos naked and subjected them severe beatings, painful stress positions, severe sleep deprivation, and exposure to extreme cold and hot temperatures. until they confessed to whatever crime he wanted them to confess to. Then he let Mark Foley take it from there.
Proud, yes proud, to be an American! We're #1! Okay, maybe with a little help from our friends, but we torture better than anyone!
-- Badtux the Snarky Penguin