A Brief History of Sweater
The Ugly Holiday Sweater has a long and storied history spanning many cultures.
People often think ironically ugly holiday sweaters are a recent development in yuppie culture, but in truth many cultures across several continents have used some version of the holiday sweater for centuries:
- The Gaels of ancient Ireland decorated their chests with a rudimentary paint made from the sap of trees, drawing reindeer-like shapes.
- Mixtec Indian tribes carved ornate wooden vests depicting large, fierce white bears and sleds carrying large warriors clothed in red. It is believed the vests were a type of ceremonial armor used on the eve of battles.
- Norse elders acquired intricate tattoos of snowflakes, yetis, and moose as they achieved notoriety on the battlefield and respect in their villages.
- Bactrians wove delicate shawls and scarves depicting fanciful images from far away lands they traded with, such as men made of snow and red-nosed deer flying through the sky.
Don't wear this shirt: To the North Pole. You'll want more layers than this.
This shirt tells the world: "Isn't it HILARIOUS?! Isn't it?! ISN'T IT?!!!!"
We call this color: I still want a hula black.