RAD, FAS, ADHD, Autism, PTSD*
Most of these words and what they represent strike fear and grief into the hearts of parents–and for good reason. I’m not going to lie, parenting a child who wears these labels and who comes from a background of complex trauma and abuse is anything but easy and “typical.” In fact, it’s downright soul-crushing and exhausting a lot of the time. Most of society doesn’t understand the unique needs of such a child. His needs are “invisible” and sometimes hard to explain. We’re not a family with a special needs child, we are a special needs family. It’s an isolating and scary road at times with little support. Fortunately, we have wonderful friends who get it and who also share similar journeys.
What one would deem a “normal” life is gone. Simple outings, gatherings, school days or even car rides don’t exist. Sometimes life isn’t lived, but merely survived.
But I’d also be doing you all a great disservice if I didn’t tell you about all the good times too. Yes, they can be harder to come by, but they do exist. It takes a lot of hard work and planning, and a little luck and much prayer. And the triumphs are so wonderful…and are savored much more than words could explain.
Deciding to live beyond the labels and the borders they sometimes create in our society is also a tough road to navigate. But that’s what we’re doing. We’re blowing away the labels and the lines in the sand. I hope to show you how we sometimes succeed at this and sometimes fail, but that you must never stop trying. After all, we still believe adventure is for all. I hope that I can convince others who feel like they are trapped at home caring for a child with complex needs that they can live a full and exciting life in this great big world of ours. So come along and we’ll try together….
*RAD: Reactive Attachment Disorder
“Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is a complex psychiatric illness that can affect young children. It is characterized by serious problems in emotional attachments to others. RAD usually presents by age 5, but a parent, caregiver or physician may notice that a child has problems with emotional attachment by their first birthday. Often, a parent brings an infant or very young child to the doctor with one or more of the following concerns:
- severe colic and/or feeding difficulties
- failure to gain weight
- detached and unresponsive behavior
- difficulty being comforted
- preoccupied and/or defiant behavior
- inhibition or hesitancy in social interactions
- disinhibition orinappropriate familiarity or closeness with strangers.
The physical, emotional and social problems associated withRAD may persist as the child grows older.
Most children with Reactive Attachment Disorder have had severe problems or disruptions in their early relationships. Many have been physically or emotionally abused or neglected. Some have experienced inadequate care in an institutional setting or other out-of-home placement such as a hospital, residential program, foster care or orphanage. Others have had multiple or traumatic losses or changes in their primary caregiver. The exact cause of Reactive Attachment Disorder is not known although research suggests that inadequate care-giving is a possible cause.” via the American Academy of Children and Adolescent Psychiatry
*FAS: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
“FAS represents the severe end of the FASD spectrum. Fetal death is the most extreme outcome from drinking alcohol during pregnancy. People with FAS might have abnormal facial features, growth problems, and central nervous system (CNS) problems. People with FAS can have problems with learning, memory, attention span, communication, vision, or hearing. They might have a mix of these problems. People with FAS often have a hard time in school and trouble getting along with others.” via the CDC
*ADHD: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
*PTSD: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder