reports on Hack
Art, history, culture, sport and science have strongly impacted this mammal's mental, physical and social development. Interactions with family and other primates have also been essential in shaping its world-view. Politicians and the 24-hour-news cycle now determine most of this creature's toils. But easily bored, it also feeds off alternative stories and voices.
Nocturnally, this creature blends in with other members of the juvenile sub-culture, but by day its shaggy hair, beard and tight jeans differentiate it from other mammals inhabiting the Federal Press Gallery. Its large nose helps it to smell out potential stories and questionable politics, and its deep-baritone vocal chords (after which its Latin name is derived) allow it to assert authority in interviews.
Characterised by a placid nature, this primate seeks to avoid confrontation by leaving hostilities to the more aggressive apes. Testosterone-fuelled dickheads of course pose a physical danger, but if a deep roar doesn't suffice as a bluff, victory can usually be asserted with a current affairs quiz. Brain-degenerating television and radio can also be potentially fatal for this media-savvy mammal.