This paper addresses the problem of how to produce artificial agents so that they can relate to us. To achieve this it is argued that the agent must have humans in its developmental loop and not merely as designers. The suggestion is that an agent needs to construct its self as humans do -- by adopting at a fundamental level others as its model for its self as well as vice versa. The beginnings of an architecture to achieve this is sketched. Some of the consequences of adopting such an approach to producing agents is discussed.