Similar to just about every other national holiday, Columbus Day has a rich and colorful history. It was celebrated as early as 1792, became official under President Frankin D. Roosevelt in 1937, and then in 1972 got moved to the second Monday in October. Often told in a narrative emphasizing Columbus' challenging of the status quo ("The earth is round, not flat!"), the story of him discovering America teaches young children such values as persistence, sharing and thinking differently. Columbus was the original Steve Jobs, right?
Well, not exactly. In our postcolonial world, we know Columbus didn't really "discover" America -- it's more like he stole it from the Native Americans. That's the basis of most of the jokes circulating around Twitter today, which in various formations essentially read, "Happy Columbus Day! Celebrate by walking into someone's house and claiming you own it." Just as common are a series of hot-faced rebuttals along the lines of: "Why are you mad at Columbus? Revoke your citizenship if you're not grateful for his discovery!"
It's almost as if you can sniff out which presidential candidate a user supports based on the content of his or her Columbus Day message, which is why we appreciate the following ten tweets. Whether you're lucky enough to have the day off, or lucky enough to have encountered easy traffic on your way to the office this morning, there's something here for you to laugh about.