Why don't we tell people when they make big financial mistakes?
As regular readers know, I am addicted to blogs. Besides the ones I read daily, there are hundreds more than I read on a more infrequent basis. These sites range from professional personal finance blogs to frugality blogs to just simply sites that fall into the home and life category. Yep... I like reading aboout people's lives via their blogs!
I am not sure if it is due to Spring fever or the stars not being properly aligned or what, but I have been seeing a rash of stupidity in the blogs I read. Not stupid as in low IQ, but rather stupid in terms of choices people are making. Especially financial choices.
• People are buying toys and i-gadgets they don't need while not even able to pay their standard bills each month.
• People are quitting jobs left and right without any type of plan to make a living.
• People are robbing their emergency funds for non-emergency purposes like decorating, new smart phones, or vacations!
The insanity is overwhelming! I want to respond to these posts with "YOU ARE AN IDIOT. YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO DO THAT! SAVE YOUR MONEY!" But I don't. No one does. Instead, everyone responds with encouraging statements such as "I am sure you will find a way to make it work," or "You can replace the money you spent next month when you get your tax refund."
The truth is, when my "real life" friends are making similar stupid choices, I usually don't respond much differently than I do to my online friends. No one appreciates being given advice. We, as human beings, don't like to upset people or hurt their feelings (and yes, most people take offense to being called an idiot). And so, rarely do we speak up when we see people making dumb decisions with their lives and finances.
So what can you do to help your friends when they are being idiots with their finances? Below is my advice:
1.) Lead by example. Do the right thing with your life and finances. Not everyone will follow your example, but some will and you may even inspire others to improve their financial habits!
2.) If you do want to speak up to your friends to let them know they are being stupid, do so kindly. Instead of saying "you are an idiot" try softening the blow by saying "That is an interesting decision you made... I am curious as to how you came to the conclusion that this was best for you?" You never know... maybe they have a rational reason for their choice that you didn't consider? Or maybe they won't have any rational reason for their actions and admitting it out loud will make them realize their choices are... well... stupid.
3.) Provide alternative solutions. If your friend is making a stupid decision, suggest an alternative. If they want to steal from their emergency fund to buy something unnecessary, suggest they wait a month because you heard such-and-such store will be having a killer sale and by then they will have received their tax refund. Or if they want to quit their job without a back-up plan, suggest they wait it out while they search for a new job or research self-employment options. Sometimes the decisions are so obvious yet people overlook them in their compulsive thinking... but as a friend you can remind them of the obvious and maybe... just maybe... they will listen!
What stupid things have you seen people doing lately? How do you deal with it when you see a friend acting stupidly? Do you call them out on it, or do you ignore it and let them make their own mistakes?