Summer is approaching at a rapid clip, and it's time to brush up on some seasonally-appropriate equations. Or, in the words of the great deceased English poet Philip Larkin, "I know my calculus, it says u + me = us."
You guys, summer. This is how I feel about it.
1. Four (4) trips to the beach to tan (with sunscreen, mind!) = normal male attention x 3
2. Two (2) Coronas + one (1) shot of Cuervo Gold x a pool party = regrettable Facebook pictures
3. Three (3) hot dogs at the barbecue beforehand = regrettable Facebook pictures ^2.
4. Dude with air conditioning < Dude with air conditioning and summer house < Dude with air conditioning, summer house and a boat!
a. Make out with someone in a convertible.
(+2 if "The Boys Are Back In Town" by Thin Lizzy is playing.)
(+3 if it is daytime.)
6. Probability of hooking up with a rando you meet at music festival: increased from approx. 15% to 20%
7. Probability of long-term couple breaking up: increased from approx. 25% to 30%
Did I miss anything important? Do your own math below!