Appearance: Oversized paperback, well-thumbed and heavily annotated up to about page 11.
Yes, I've got it somewhere. I was never really into myths and stuff. It's not a myth. It's a 265,000-word modernist novel by James Joyce.
Sounds like a textbook example of what Pass notes is for. What, in as few short words as possible, is it about? It follows the character Leopold Bloom through Dublin over the course of a single day – 16 June 1904, to be precise – but it's best known for its stream-of-consciousness prose style and its dense, complex structure.
You've lost me. Why are we talking about it? Because Kate Bush has used text from Ulysses as lyrics for a song on her forthcoming album, Director's Cut.
Fascinating. Who is she again? Arguably one of the most successful female songwriters the UK has produced.
She didn't write this new song, though. She just copied it out of a book! In this instance, you are correct.
I'll bet that sort of thing happens all the time. Not to the works of James Joyce. His estate, controlled by his grandson, is well known for its tight grip on the author's words. Bush was originally refused permission to use the extract in 1989.
She's persistent, I'll give her that. Actually she ended up writing her own words for it. But when re-working the song – now titled Flower of the Mountain – for the new album she asked again, and the estate gave permission.
What made them change their minds? Who knows? But it could have had something to do with the fact that the copyright runs out in 2012 anyway. If they said no again, she wouldn't have long to wait.
So what are the actual words? I couldn't possibly say. Yet.
Do say: "This represents a magical collaboration between two great artists."
Don't say: "You can buy the CD, but you can only hum along until 2012."