So, I sometimes take online surveys just for the fun of it. They tell me I can win cash, but in the year or so that I’ve taken part in these surveys, I’ve never once won a dollar. Today was one of the most bizarre surveys I’ve taken. It was a survey about rice. Yes, those little grains that are so popular in Asia. Now, I understand that the survey is probably intended to gauge brand awareness and identifcation, but seriously, some of the questions they are asking are ridiculous. For example, I was given ten brands of rice and asked to mark which brand(s) I felt had the following characteristics:
- In Touch With My Needs
- Understands my lifestyle
- Down to earth
WHAT? None of these words describe ANY kind of rice… when is the last time you encountered human rice that was confident and understood your lifestyle? Oh wait, the last time I was in the grocery store, I remember the following encounter:
LANCE: Oh, look, it’s a bag of rice walking towards me…
RICE: Hi! I’m Mr. Rice. Can I help you today?
LANCE: You’re a bag of rice… I don’t think so.
RICE: Now, now… don’t let this whole “rice” thing throw you off. I’m a person just like you!
RICE: Ah, I understand what people with your lifestyle need… watch as I confidently perform this backflip as proof of my humanity.
RICE: Crap, that damn can opener caught my plastic and now I’m leaking.