One of them actually says to me, "well if you had enough bad experiences with black people you would understand why someone would use that word." I had to remind her that my father was murdered by an African American man and at no time did it occur to me to become racist. She didn't say anything after that other then it not being that big of a deal.
I thought the world was at a consensus that racism is always bad and a big deal. I guess I was wrong. I feel so uncomfortable around them now.