A LiveScience report delivers more bad news for us men folk.
Already attached to a belief that we struggle with sharing our emotions, a new study says we find it difficult deciphering what a woman is feeling.
Put another point up for women everywhere. I think the score must be something like: Women, a gazillion; Men: Zilch.
Sure, men still handle much of the heavy lifting in society but women are beating us to death or worrying us to it.
They outnumber us and outlive us. Seriously, from Belgium, to Taiwan, to Barbados, and even in the Federated States of Micronesia, women enjoy a life expectancy that trumps us by several years.
Our U.S. female compatriots outlive us by about five years, What a guy could do with a handful of years.
That’s about 250 more rounds of golf; five more baseball seasons and Masters golf tournaments; five more Super Bowls; five more ties for Father’s Day.
OK. Scratch that special neck wear for dads.
Anyway, Boris Schiffer, a researcher at the LWL-University in Bochum, Germany, placed men between the ages of 21 and 52, inside a resonance imaging scanner.
The researcher then measured blood flow to measure brain activity as men looked at images of 36 pairs of eyes, half from men and the other half from women.
Without putting you in mental gridlock, men struggled guessing the emotions in women’s eyes.
Yeah, you guessed it, we were much better connecting with emotions in the eyes of men. Fist bump, baby.
Millions of homophobes just stopped reading this column.
Schiffer’s study results serve as confirmation that male bonding remains part of a homosocial network which has developed over thousands of years.
We still struggle in our attempt to “figure out” the opposite sex, an exercise that challenges like a rubik’s cube.
I love the word conundrum. If there ever was a word that correctly summed up mankind’s experiences with womenkind, that’s it.
Forget about guys trying to guess what women’s eyes are saying. We struggle with body language and the word ‘no.’
So, women, please, just give it to us straight. Make it as plainly or painfully as honest as you can when men ask the one question that produces a game of dodgeball.
We have asked it a million times from inside caves, in kitchens, cars, supermarkets, everywhere on God’s great earth: Is there something wrong?
If a guy delivers that inquiry then he’s just about as in-tuned with his female partner as a tuning fork to a piano.
That question includes an assessment of eyes, voice, walk, and every other mannerism or womannerism known to mankind.
Let me help all you guys who pose this question then receive the classic “nothing” for an answer.
At that point, you may as well retrieve a blanket, pillow and snacks then retire to your man cave.
Nothing means something. Nothing means that you better keep asking. Nothing means that four hours later she will confess her irritation toward something.
Another study suggested.... Forget another study.
Guys, the key to a successful, healthy relationship is to empower your partner.
If your partner knows she can freely engage you about any topic then you won’t have to read her eyes.
You may have to engage your female side for success but even that could help you live several years longer.
Enough time to return to our home turf of Mars.
— L.A. Parker is a Trentonian columnist. Reach him at laparker@Trentonian.com,