Here are some tips for parents aimed at dealing with bullying taken from a Bell Elementary newsletter sent last fall to parents:
• Ask your children about bullying behaviors they have seen or experienced. Help them define what bullying is and let then know you are there to help them in whatever way possible.
• Encourage your children to report bullying incidents. Let them know they have made the right decision by telling someone.
• Help your child identify bullying.
• Help your child plan ways to diffuse the bullying (i.e. staying away from the bully, staying near an adult when the bullying behavior begins to occur).
• Share your concerns and information about the bullying with the school. Volunteer time to help supervise on field trips, on the playground, etc.
• Do not ignore your child's reports. Encourage your child to report again to school if bullying continues.
• Start early to help your children avoid becoming a bully. Observe your children and praise the when they act appropriately. Positive reinforcement is the best form of discipline.
• If you hear your children calling others names or excluding others from participation, correct their behavior. Ask your children how they would feel if they were being called names or excluded from activities.
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It could start with teasing on the playground, a threatening text message or a shove in the hallway.
No matter its form, bullying is a problem that local schools take very seriously. Educators continuously try to educate students and parents about how to recognize and address it.
Michele Lemell, the safe schools and healthful living coordinator for Asheville City Schools, says one of the most important things parents can do is simply talk to your children.
“You've got to talk to your kids about everything,” Lemell said. “And you've got to have access to everything.”
Bullying or harassing behavior can come in several different forms, including name calling, spreading rumors, a threatening text or phone message, punching, shoving or any other form of physical and emotional abuse. It often takes place in less supervised areas in schools such as restrooms, school buses or playgrounds.
North Carolina lawmakers updated the state's anti-bullying legislation in 2009. The changes required school systems to implement anti-bullying rules spelling out characteristics of potential targets, including sexual orientation. The statute also addresses cyberbullying, which includes using the Internet, mobile phones or other digital technologies to send threatening messages or pictures.
Bullying behaviors usually peak in the middle school levels and start to decrease once students reach high school.
Christiaan Ramsey, director of special education for Madison County Schools, worked as a middle and high school teacher as well as a bus driver. He witnessed student bullying firsthand and saw how deeply bullying impacts students.
“I began to understand that simply using disciplinary techniques such as suspension often does little to get at the root cause of bullying,” Ramsey said. “I found that character education, communication and support for both bullies and their victims is much more likely to reduce the amount of bullying that goes on in schools.”
Ramsey said a study he conducted found the single most effective intervention for dealing with student bullying is the development of a positive relationship between students and teachers.
“Teachers said students need someone to talk to in a time of need,” Ramsey said. “They need to know someone at the school is there for them and cares about their problems.”
To address bullying, Asheville City Schools last year implemented the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program at the elementary-grade level. Olweus focuses on changing climate and social norms so bullying isn't considered cool, and involves all adults and students in the school as well as parents and others in the community.
ACS plans to integrate Olweus at the middle school level this school year and high school in 2012, Lemell said.
“Our approach to the Olweus program is you don't mediate the situation. We don't bring the child who was exhibiting those bullying behaviors and the target to work things out. It's individual intervention for each of those children, and if there were bystanders involved egging on the behaviors those students are also met with,” Lemell said. “We have a set of steps that we go through to really address what was happening.”
Buncombe County Schools also recently worked to strengthen the school system's process for dealing with bullying, said David Thompson, director of student services. Schools address bullying using a three-tiered approach, and depending on the severity of the incident, resolutions might include mediation, classroom meetings or involve law enforcement.
“We're going to put that approach in place for the bus drivers because when we looked at our data, it looked like a lot of problems initiated on the bus,” Thompson said.
Buncombe County Schools also started an anonymous bullying hotline as well as an online bullying reporting system through the schools' websites.
Although traditional bullying accounts for most reported incidents, cyberbullying is a growing concern as mobile phone and social media sites continue to proliferate, school officials say.
“In order to combat the problem of cyberbullying at the school level, teachers, parents and administrators must work together,” said Ramsey. “The key for success is communication between the home and the school along with increased parent/ teacher monitoring of how and when students are using cell phones and the Internet.”
Lemell, who has two teenaged daughters, said she has a couple of rules concerning phone and computer usage in her home to help her keep tabs on her children.
“If your (Internet browser) history page is missing, you lose Internet privilege. If you delete all of then the text messages from your phone, you lose phone privileges,” Lemell said. “It's a real open book in my house. We set those (rules) up clearly in writing we review them occasionally. You kind of have to get on their level, but again being really clear about what are those dangers out there on the Internet.”
However, children might be reluctant to come forward if they see a threatening or questionable message if they believe parents will immediately revoke their Internet or phone privileges, Lemell said. That's why it's important to maintain open communication with your children, she said.
“Our first gut reaction as a parent is you just don't have access to that,” Lemell said. “That is one of the biggest things that makes them hesitate coming to us as adults, and we need to be mindful of that.”