Food anxiety is an affliction resulting from the unrealistic perception you may not have enough food to feed everyone. Making a pound of pasta for two people is a manifestation of this. It also happens when you are worried you might make your guests ill, like when you serve raw oysters or undercooked meat. The sound of vomiting or groans of diarrhea only make this feeling worse.
I began to feel extreme food guilt. Was it the Grilled Cheese with Bacon and Avocado? The Bolognese Sauce?
"Nonna's last lasagna might be my last lasagna!" Jon said.
Gall bladder stones develop over time and I had only been force feeding him high fat foods for little over a month. Isn't that how it works when you fall in love? You feed the person and yourself until you are both overweight and unattractive to each other and then you join a gym?
None the less, leaning over his gurney I had that big eyed "I'm sorry I did this to you," look on my face.
"It's all your fault you evil guinea," Jon said and we both broke into hysterical laughter that made his pain and my guilt worse.
This, along with, "You're still handsome even though you're in a wheelchair," and, "I don't even know where my organs are," and, "Your teeth can fall out, your organs can't" are among the demented comments we made while nervously waiting his fate.
Well that fat party is over. It's quinoa and bean sprouts from now on (well or him at least.) And he wasn't even allowed to keep the evil bunny. Food can hurt.