Ways to Embrace Mistakes as Life's Lessons
Julie Fuimano, Personal & Career Coach
There are no mistakes in life; only lessons.
What this means is that whenever something happens,
there is a gem for you to learn from. If you can
learn to accept mistakes, shortcomings, and unwanted
events as opportunities for learning and personal
growth, then you'll feel less stressed and fearful,
you'll be more confident and self-assured, and
your life experience will be more rewarding and
If you do something incorrectly or wrong, or
you do something that makes you feel bad, you
may get angry with yourself. Most of us have a
habit of beating ourselves up mentally over and
The fact is that when you make a mistake, there
is a lesson for you to learn. Mistakes are gifts.
They offer you the opportunity to explore an area
where perhaps you are deficient, need additional
knowledge or training, or need to reevaluate your
approach. Perhaps you were rushing. Whatever the
reason, if you take the time to explore what happened,
you can learn what you need to know to correct
the situation and to put systems in place so that
this same mistake does not recur.
Some people refuse to accept that they did anything
wrong. It was someone else or it was the system.
This is known as a victim mentality. They rationalize,
deny, make excuses, justify, and blame. These
people have not yet learned to accept responsibility
for themselves and for their actions.
When you do something wrong or something doesn't
quite work out the way you want, there are ways
of managing it so that you learn the lesson, move
on from it, and grow stronger in the process.
By adopting these three approaches to life, you
can learn to handle yourself gracefully and deepen
your relationships with yourself and with others.
1) Be open to making mistakes
Accept that you're human and that each of us
will do things we regret. Each of us will take
a wrong turn, hurt someone's feelings, or make
bad choices. Be open to making mistakes and embrace
them as an opportunity to learn valuable life
lessons. They hurt sometimes - a lot of the time.
But if you open to learning from your mistakes,
you will be able to move on rather than wallowing
in regret or disappointment. If you don't learn
the lesson, it will repeat itself again and again
in different situations until you get it. Experience
is a hard teacher.
2) Be aware
In other words, look for areas of improvement.
Be on the lookout for "mistakes" or
ways to strengthen your character. Be aware of
what you are doing, why you are doing it, how
you feel, and how you make others feel. This way
of thinking is about being proactive and seeking
betterment to avoid unnecessary blunders. If you
are aware of how your behaviors impact others,
then you can determine whether that is enhancing
or hurting your relationships.
You are responsible for how you are received
by others. This is a matter of emotional intelligence.
You must be aware of the impact your words and
actions have on others. Sometimes, your words
just don't land right or you say something but
it is not what you meant to say. People have difficulty
expressing what they really mean. By being fully
aware of how you impact others, you maintain an
open state of learning which allows you to constantly
practice being a better person - a better you.
3) Accept full responsibility for yourself
and your life
Whatever happens, whenever you make a mistake
or you are involved in a misunderstanding, take
responsibility. There is always something to be
learned or improved even if the other person was
Accepting responsibility is liberating. Yes,
it's hard to admit you were wrong. But it demonstrates
strength, courage, and a commitment to personal
excellence. It's respectful. By doing so, you
demonstrate that you care about yourself and the
When you accept full responsibility for yourself,
you also accept responsibility for making things
right. If something was done poorly, then you
can fix it. If something was misunderstood, then
focus on building greater understanding in your
relationships. When you accept responsibility,
you demonstrate the highest level of respect for
yourself and others. And you learn to make better
choices to avoid problems, mistakes, and misunderstandings
in the future.
By being open to learning life's lessons from
every event, situation, and encounter; by maintaining
an awareness of how you are received in relationships
with others; and by accepting complete responsibility
for yourself; you empower yourself to create richer,
more meaningful relationships with others. You
also will also develop more self-respect and learn
to stop beating yourself up over your mistakes;
instead taking responsibility, making things right
where necessary, and committing yourself to developing
greater integrity and a more mature character.
Julie Fuimano, MBA, BSN, RN is
a Success Coach working with executives, leaders
and professionals who want more happiness, more
time and less stress. She is the author of "The
Journey Called YOU: A Roadmap to Self-Discovery
and Acceptance," the manual for effective
living. Learn how to unleash the greatness within
you and create a life and a career that works
for you! To explore how coaching would work for
you or your organization, call (610) 277-2726.
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