I updated the image for the printready- the script looks like this but looking at the example you gave, I am wondering if this is wrong too...
It's important to me to get it right, even though this shirt is not even close to being the winning design.
Is the new one just as wrong?
Glad you're striving to get this right. Hope you don't find my feedback discouraging. I'm trying to help.
The new one does look worse.
Here are step-by-step instructions on how to write the first character:
1) Make two horizontal strokes.
2) Make one vertical stroke, beginning at the midpoint of the higher stroke and passing through the midpoint of the lower stroke.
3) Make two small diagonal strokes on opposite sides of the vertical stroke, located between the two horizontal strokes and in the direction of the midpoint of the lower stroke.
Your second character is perfect, but it's the simplified version of the word rather than the traditional. You can compare the two here:
It's up to you which you prefer. Personally, if I were going to wear a shirt with Chinese characters, I would find the traditional characters more stylish.
The only difference is the very top part of the right half.
To write just that portion:
1) Make one stroke from right to left slanting slightly downwards.
2) Make three smaller downward strokes underneath the first stroke that mildly converge a tiny bit towards the center.