Why is it that white people need to be denied the vote? Why, because they're racist, of course! But hey, the idiot pundit calling for this is white, so therefore it's OK.
That's why this ban on white people voting I'm proposing has got to be statewide. And I'm sorry to say, it's going to have to include all white people, even those who would vote for Obama, because you can't just let some white people vote. That would be unfair.
By this point, you either think I am joking or are calling me an elitist. I assure you I am neither. OK, maybe a little of both. But it wasn't always like this. I come from the Coal Belt, from that Alabamian hinterland between Pittsburgh and Philadelphia, as per James Carville's famous formulation.
I am, in fact, just two generations out of the coal mines that blackened the lungs of my grandfather, leaving him disabled, despondent and, finally, dead at the ripe old age of 54.
So, understand that I am saying all this for the good of the country and, in fact, for the good of those hard-working white people that Hillary used to pander to.
I know those people, I come from them. They are not some shameful abstract demographic to be brushed under the rug of euphemism by Wolf Blitzer and his ilk.
I have broken kielbasa with those people. I went to school with their children. I have gone to Sunday Mass with a deer-hunter hangover with those people. They are bitter with good reason, and they are armed because they are scared. They mean well, but they are easily spooked.
His three reasons for denying Caucasians the right to vote are 1., the election of President Bush; 2., Sarah Palin's candidacy and her supporters; and 3., Ed Rendell and John Murtha said so.
Brilliant political commentary, eh?
Oh, and I forgot: there's the obligatory Pennsylvanians won't vote for Obama because they're racist. Any white person who disagrees with Obama's policies must clearly be a racist! The majority of black people who support Obama, however, are not racist.
Yet somehow, it's people like this asshat who think that they're healing the racial divide, not widening it. I'm really curious how it is not condescending to tell minorities that their race means more than their intellect does. If liberals see Barack Obama and other minority politicians as equal to white politicians, then shouldn't their policies, experience, opinions, and credentials be subject to the same scrutiny? Why should a black politician get special treatment just because he's black? Why should white people be forced to support a candidate just because of their skin color? Again, how is this not condescending or insulting? If Obama wants to be taken seriously, then he needs to call for a stop to the race baiting... although, that's about as likely to happen as Al Gore announcing that he made up global warming to reinvigorate his political relevancy.
Hat Tip: Moonbattery