“I adore Madame Obama. . . [but] frankly, this doesn’t suit her. The fringe was a bad idea, it’s not good.”
Look, you don’t say anything bad about Michelle Obama. You just don’t. It doesn’t matter what she does, you say something nice or you just shut your mouth. Like if someone released some footage of Michelle Obama drowning puppies, you’d still be like “well, she did look really classy doing it.” If she made a statement about how she wanted to stop focusing on promoting healthy choices for kids and start promoting PCP use for kids, then you’d say something like “that’s a strong woman who can go after what she believes in.” And then you’d do this solemn, appreciative nod that everyone always seems to do when talking about this lady. Do you know what I’m talking about?
For those of you living under a rock in a cave with no wifi, here’s Michelle’s new bangs:
Flawless, right? Even my dad has a crush on her, and he never talks about any famous lady crushes. He called me after Obama won the election and said things like “I’m so glad Obama won so I don’t have to hear that other asshole talk anymore” and “his wife sure is a pretty woman, huh?” Everyone loves Michelle Obama.