Despite the fact that it is increasingly clear that homosexuality is mostly an inborn, hardwired phenomenon much like genetic gender and race, many people still believe that sexual preference is a choice. Sadly, even in the face of long overdue and vital social and legislative changes allowing for gay marriage in a greater number of states, a lot of individuals maintain that being gay is unnatural, immoral and abhorrent. While it may be nearly impossible to disabuse such rigid and ignorant people of their erroneous beliefs, more flexible and enlightened thinkers understand that homosexuality is almost never a deliberate choice.
Interestingly, many therapists agree that women have a more fluid sexual nature than men and are, therefore, more apt to explore gay, straight, and bisexual roles during their lifetimes. What’s more, it seems that human sexuality is a far more complicated matter than previously thought and the simple, trinary classification of “gay, bi or straight” is woefully inadequate in capturing the wider array of people’s sexual lives. For example, there are transsexual, intersexed, hermaphroditic, and asexual people, too. Indeed, despite increasing social awareness of the complex nature of sexuality (as reflected by the growth of the LGBTQIA—Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, Interesex, and Asexual—community) because of the rampant misinformation and prejudice that surrounds homosexuality, coming out can still be a very, very scary and risky business.
So, here are some helpful ideas that can help you and your child to successfully navigate the “post-closet” landscape.
Keep in mind that almost all healthy people want love, support, validation, and noncritical acceptance; not rejection, criticism, blame, and disapproval.
Remember: Think well, act well, feel well, be well!
Copyright by Clifford N. Lazarus, Ph.D.