This week I have decided to answer several questions in one! I get SO many questions about naps- naps for all ages and all kinds of nap problems! This week I will focus on why your child may be resisting naps or taking short “disaster” naps. Next week I will focus on tips for improving naps!
The first morning nap doesn’t start to develop it’s consistency in time and length until around 12 weeks and then the afternoon nap follows several weeks later. Notice the “around” and “several”…these are not definitive numbers.
So if you have a newborn, after 6-8 weeks you can decide to put your baby down drowsy but awake at bedtime as your first big sleep goal! No nap coaching! Just make sure the daytime sleep tank is full any way you can get it. This will help your baby sleep better at night.
When sleep coaching, night sleep improves first and then the morning nap.
The afternoon nap and early rising are the last two pieces to fall in to place so stay consistent and don’t give up!
Naps can help improve your child’s mood and reduce crying, whining and temper tantrums. Getting enough day sleep helps their brains grow and develop so that they can learn and grow at the incredible rate that they do! Skipping naps never improves night sleep!
Potential reasons your child may be resisting naps or not napping long enough:
Your child has not yet learned the skill of putting him or herself to sleep independently.
If you are feeding, rocking, walking, lying down with your child to get them to go to sleep for their nap then they will need you to do this to help them get back to sleep when they wake at a normal arousal during a nap. If you find your child is taking longer and longer to get to sleep for their nap and when you do finally attempt to leave their bed or put them in their crib they wake suddenly, then it is time to nap coach! Follow all the details outlined in The Sleep Lady’s Good Night, Sleep Tight on how to do this. It takes a couple of weeks but it’s worth it! Your whole family’s lives will be transformed for the better!
You are missing your child’s nap window!
The more overtired you allow your child to get, the more wired he’ll get – making it harder for him to go to sleep and stay asleep. We all operate on an internal clock that tells us when to go to sleep and when to be awake. When we miss that window or sign that says “I am ready to slow down and get ready for sleep…I am waiting for the signs from you Mom and Dad”, the body secretes chemicals that wire our children which creates more crying, tantrums and artificial energy. This, of course, makes it more difficult to go to sleep and stay asleep. Watch your child for signs of being tired and aim to put him or her down for nap as soon as you see those signs. If you have an alert child who is good at masking his signs then you will need to watch the clock.
Developmental milestones, changes in childcare and growth can affect sleep patterns.
Make sure you are watching for signs of tiredness between naps and are adjusting your schedule accordingly. Always go by your child’s cues first! For instance, if your childcare center moves all 1 year olds to one nap and your 1 year old is not ready, talk to them, bring in my book and show them a typical 1 year old schedule. Share with them that the average age to transition to one nap is 15-18 months old. If you don’t feel your child is ready, ask them what you can do to keep them in the 2 nap room or program. Be an advocate for your child’s sleep!
The nap timing is inconsistent from day to day.
If your child naps well at childcare but you want him to nap on the go on the weekends, this may wreak havoc with his nap schedule and cause him to be overtired (and potentially negatively affect his night sleep). Try to be in sync with you childcare’s nap schedule (if it is working well and is reasonable) on the weekend and make naps a priority. Do your best to stay within half an hour of the nap time schedule you created. Our children do better when they go to sleep around the same time and wake around the same time…this is true for night and day sleep! (By the way, it’s true for adults too!)
Health problems can cause napping difficulties.
The most common are asthma, allergies, ear infections and reflux. Asthma and allergies can interfere with breathing when laying down, which makes it harder to go to sleep and stay asleep. Ear infections can make lying down more uncomfortable and finally, our child can reflux more easily when lying down flat. Reflux can wake you up from a sound sleep! Since our children build their immune systems while sleeping, it is even more important that they get the sleep they need when sick. While they are sick and you are working on getting their reflux, asthma or allergies under control, do whatever you need to do to help them sleep. You can always work on undoing any negative sleep habits when they are feeling better! And of course, talk to your doctor about your concerns!