Say what you like about the Torygraph (pause while correspondents dutifully vent spleen about fascism, right wing propaganda, Conrad Black, anachronistic jingoistic clap trap and so forth), but they do have good investigative journalists.
The secret behind the delay in the reopening of the meccano set in Switzerland has been revealed.
Brian Nerd, the Torygraph’s science and jolly wheeze’s reporter tells us:
But just 10 days later an electrical fault led to a catastrophic leak of helium used to cool the machine's powerful magnets, causing a complete shut-down.
The world assumed that there was something fundamentally flawed in the design that had to be fixed, or they couldn’t get a plumber for six months, or they had lost the blueprints, or there were no spare parts and then B&Q closed down before they could fulfil the order. This is all nonsense. Switzerland was chosen because of its inherent efficiency (and also because we all thought it would be bloody funny that if there was a small black hole created it would be these smug cheese chewing protectors of nazi gold hoarders who were the ones who copped it).
We can deduce that the actual mechanical problems were quite minor, it is just that every time someone said “pass the wrench, Ludwig” (I have no idea what a wrench is) everyone else would fall about laughing at the silly voice. I can report that something in excess of 212000 litres of urine has had to be removed from the floor during the repair process.
Now that the effects of the helium have worn off, everyone is speaking in a normal voice, and the tedious and ostentatious malarkey can recommence.