On another web site of mine (specifically deviantART.com), one of my watchers challenged me with a pugilistic statement about being UNABLE to make a simple statement like “He drives a red sports car” without using adjectives.
Naturally, this set my wheels in motion. 2008 has been the year of hard growth for ol’ JDT in writing, and one of the hardest things to hear was how littered my writing was with adverbs and adjectives. To the point of being weakened by them.
I made it my mission to eliminate adverbs then and there from my writing. I’ve done a pretty good job of that so far, but will keep striving.
Meanwhile, I’ve started addressing adjectives now. The statement the watcher made, I took as a challenge.
First, it’s BAD PRACTICE to TELL the reader “He drives a red sports car” and is MUCH better to SHOW the reader he drives one. So I proceeded from that understanding. (The watcher issuing the challenge isn’t a writer, and may or may not understand the whole “show don’t tell” mantra we writers live by.)
Second, I wanted to write that description, showing someone driving a red sports car, without a single adjective (or adverb, of course).
I’ve challenged other writers I know to do the same; write an interesting description, showing not telling, using the sentence “He drives a red sports car” as the premise and using NO adverbs or adjectives. To assist me with the parts of speech identification, I used WordWeb.
This is the result. How did I do? Are you interested in trying it yourself? It’s a great exercise, and loads of fun.
Here’s my entry to my own contest. Sound off and let me know what you think.
He slides behind the wheel and the leather embraces him like a lover. Adjust the sunglasses, verify the look with a glance in the mirror. He turns the key and thunder roars beneath him. A smile traces his lips, engine purring.
He gooses the accelerator and the vacuum sucks him backward. It responds to his will, hugs the blacktop. Daylight melts on crimson as it stalks the streets. It’s leashed thunder, waiting to strike.
He can’t help smiling at the power it has. It’s like walking a tiger while the neighbors walk poodles.
He nods to his reflection and weighs on the gas. The rumble of the engine warns the day of his coming.
All original content is COPYRIGHT J. DANE TYLER 2008
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED