Earlier this week we addressed such common hurricane-time queries as “How do you know if your power goes out?,” “What do you do if your power goes out?,” and “So I got off the couch for nothing?” This questionnaire proved so useful—when our power did go out, we were immediately able to recognize it as such—that we’ve decided to solve some more electricity-related concerns.
Q. So, after suspecting and positively confirming that, yes, the power did go out, I was surprised by how many things require electricity! What are some things that definitely need electricity that people might not realize?
A. Very good question! So many things that you don’t even think of as being electric do, actually, require a functioning power source. Included in this category are: buzzers to get into buildings, ATMs, bathroom lights, hallway lights, microwaves, the heating, DVR, vacuums (darkness begets spilling), certain iPod speakers, and all Starbucks franchises. Shocking—which is a pun—stuff.
Q. How does not having electricity affect one’s mood?
A. Very poorly, we’d say. If you tend to be hot, cold, bored, television-dependent, caffeine-dependent, bereft of any currency besides a credit card, clumsy, neurotic, impatient, or awake, expect a lack of electricity to aggravate these tendencies.
Q. When is the electricity coming back?
A. In Manhattan and Brooklyn, maybe like four days from now.
Q. Are you fucking kidding me?
Q. What are backup generators, and why do some people have them and some don’t? Are they expensive or scarce or illegal something? And wait, so like, does a backup generator not get electricity from ConEd? How can it work if the power is out? I thought it was like a wireless router, wherein it needs to connect to a larger system, but is it actually more like a MiFi card in that it generates its own network? Why don’t all buildings get them? Why doesn’t ConEd get one? Why does this Daily Beast article on backup generators have, like, zero actual facts about backup generators? Is this too many questions?
A. To answer your last question, yes.
Q. What’s the best way to go about reconnecting with friends whose Upper East Side/Upper West Side apartment you’d previously shown no interest in visiting?
A. A backup generator makes a nice gift, we assume!