(excerpted from the audio cassette Nights of Passion: The Meaning of Sexual Dreams)
While any dream can be fascinating, our sexual dreams are particularly tantalizing and thought-provoking. Some of us are blessed with erotic dreams that are wonderfully satisfying, enriching and pleasurable. On the surface these dreams appear to be like eating chocolate without calories; there's no risk, no involvement, and no consequences for indulging our desires! Indeed some sexual dreams fall into the category of what Freud would have called "wish fulfillment." These fun, sexy dreams can fill-in or enhance your love life and they are easy to identify. Other sexual dreams are more complex, and contain fascinating clues to important personal needs, desires, fears and changes. Here are some of the more typical types of sexual dreams, and some of the functions they appear to serve:
- Erotic-Passionate: These dreams have heightened physical sensation, and are often truly sexually satisfying. They may be very graphic, like acting out an X-rated movie, and the sexual activity is the main or only action within the dream plot. These dreams may be the mind's attempt to satisfy our natural sexual appetite, and they are influenced by all sorts of stimuli. (Some people report that reading erotic stories, watching romantic/erotic movies, and doing stretching or yoga just prior to sleep can bring on these dreams.)
- Issue Oriented: Many sexual dreams actually revolve around something that influences or inhibits the sexual activity in the dream. The interruption, obstacle or vanishing partner in your dream may be a symbolic representation of the element in waking life that impacts your intimate life. These dream stories can be immensely valuable help in recognizing and overcoming inhibitions to fulfillment and intimacy.
- Vitality-Life Force: People recovering from illness, depression, surgery or the grieving process may suddenly and inexplicably begin having highly erotic dreams. These appear to be associated with an increase in physical vitality and a greater sense of aliveness, although they may precede physical recovery in some cases. These dreams often strike the dreamer as very funny, given the depth of challenges they have been facing, but they may serve as a rather earthy reminder that although you have been through hell, you are still very very much alive.
- Relationship Sorters: Some sexual dreams involve a sort of casting call of past lovers. Everyone you have ever been with may show up at the same party, or in the same bed. The plot of these dreams varies, but they focus on past relationships, either a survey of many relationships, or that one old flame who haunts your dreams with regularity. Their function seems to be to help sort out threads from past involvements which continue to impact current relationships and levels of intimacy.
You may recognize a familiar theme in some of these often-reported sexual dreams. You and your dream are unique, so think of these ideas as starting points, not conclusions.