The French are, fairly or unfairly, regarded as the world’s greatest lovers. Is it true? I’ve never (fortunately) had a Frenchman make love to me, so I can’t say, but I think the good old Dutchie from the plaas will give Pierre a run for his money any day. Brute strength and ignorance won many a fair maiden.
But the champion, without a doubt, would be our very own Jacob Zuma, president of this illustrious country. He’s managed to screw fifty million people for five years now, and no Frenchman I can think of has even come close to that.
Rob Ford gave it a valiant go, but his attempt fell down when he put stuff up his nose. And as hard as I think about it, I cannot think of anyone, anywhere in the world, who even approaches our cuddly, loveable President.
He does, after all, head up the Moral Regeneration Movement, which aims to restore the morals of our wayward youth. If anyone knows of the dangers of immorality, it is he.
‘You see…this thing I… did? Don’t do it. It is bad.’
It’s called leading by example and I don’t know whether it works or not, but we have an entire political movement dedicated to showing us what not to do. It’s pure inspiration, that’s what it is!
Why do we know it’s a bad thing to throw poo on the steps of the Cape Legislature? Because the ANC Youth League did it, that’s why! It’s called leading by example, and no-one does it better than them.
Why do we know it’s a bad thing to have rats in our hospitals and people dying in the corridors? How do we know it’s wrong for babies to die of preventable diseases and even have their penises cut off when they come in for a circumcision? Because the ANC-run healthcare system does these things. Leading by example, there’s no better way.
How do we know it’s not right to deny people basic rights like running water, sewage and garbage removal and sanitation? Because the ANC does it.
Are you beginning to see how good this Government actually is? How they love the people?
Nkandla is an object lesson in this very matter! How do we know it’s wrong for the President’s private home to be funded by tax-payers’ money to the tune of R206 000 000.00? Okay, I can see you’ve got the gist of it. It’s easy when you try.
So, the ANC has shown us what good governance is not. They are absolute masters at that, it must be said. And even better, they continue to lead the way, by being the most corrupt nation in Africa. That’s according to Corruption Watch, and international NGO who specialises in these matters. Zimbabwe rates higher than us! Give these guys a hand!
Education? The lowest standards in Africa: what an accomplishment! No wonder Gwede Mantashe tries so hard to look like Lenin. He wants to be like him in every way.
They manage to make Julius Malema look good, and that’s a tough act. These people are brilliant!
So the moral of the story is quite simple. If you want to learn how to behave, watch the ANC and do the opposite. I promise you won’t be disappointed.