Re: An open letter to the martial arts community about conduct in the dojo
here is my contribution to this thread:
Do not rape your students or fellow trainees.
If you see a student or trainee being raped, do something about it. Stop it. Report it to someone in authority. Report it to police. Talk to others about it.
Do not coerce sex out of students or fellow trainees.
If you see a student or fellow trainee in a situation where sex is being coerced from them, do something about it. Report it. Talk to others about it.
if your teacher is a rapist or sexually abusive, report it. Then leave the dojo and find another.
If a fellow student is a rapist or sexually abusive, report it. If nothing is done to address the situation, leave the dojo and find another.
Romance and relationships can and do happen among fellow students and even between teacher and student. If you find yourself going there, or see someone else who is, consider whether power is being abused. Would the two partners make an "appropriate" couple - by their own standards, which can be admittedly very difficult to understand - if they did not have the dojo in common? This can be a very tricky question, but ask it honestly. if something feels wrong, talk to others about it.
Aikido is a non-competitive martial art and dojos are communities in a way that doesn't necessarily translate to other martial arts. If you see something happening and you don't speak up, yes, the illusion of community may survive for a time. But what is truly the right thing to do?