I just have to ask a question. When did we become afraid to speak? I've noticed it lately - we tiptoe around things that are controversial, even if that's not the speakers intent. I feel like a lot of people who have made headlines for something they have said probably didn't mean it the way it sounded. Everyone is guilty of making a mistake in the way they use language and usually it's not that big of a deal. Even the people surrounded by talking heads that are coaching the speaker on what and how to say something make mistakes. I feel like we've gotten to a point where we fear language. We fear discussing ideas or sharing different opinions. We are terrified of offending someone - and because of it, we keep our mouths shut.
When we become afraid to speak out and declare that there is something that could be changed we kill the free exchange of ideas. Yes, there are some subjects and words that over time and historical changes have fallen out of our lexicon. There are some words that, like many of diseases, have been eradicated from our daily life. These words (which I won't list) are the kinds of words that only people who are ignorant or just downright hateful still use in their everyday language.
Who's At Fault?
Everyone. That's the truth. History is littered with people who have opened their mouths and caused the world to be completely flipped on its head. These are people who have flipped the world in both good and bad directions. Intent with language is just as important as the words that are said. Patrick Henry, Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, and Martin Luther King, Jr. are just a few examples of people who have flipped the world. So are Hitler, Stalin, and Castro.
The difference? Intent. The people who speak with hate are doing so because that is exactly what they want to do. For them, it's not about creating healthy debate and exchanging ideas.
When it comes to debate, we apply it on an emotional level. This is a part of human nature but when we become afraid of expressing opinions and our thoughts, we stop progress. We stop understanding. We stop the idea that you can walk a mile in someone’s shoes . Having a debate is not the same as standing on a street corner with signs and screaming obscenities.
Debate is the exchanging of ideas - an understanding of two people who come from different backgrounds, were raised under different circumstances, and have different values.
Debate is not about changing someone's mind, proving yourself right , or hurting someone’s feelings.
You want to have an effective debate?
- Listen & Learn - Do not discount someone else’s opinion simply because you disagree. There's a lot you can learn from another person.
- (Try to)Keep Your Emotions Out of It - Easier said than done, I know, as heated debates are often based on things that get people pretty fired up, like politics and religion. In friendly company, these are subjects that people are comfortable enough to bring up and discuss. Try to think of things in a logical manner rather than a personal one.
- Avoid The Okay, Whatever factor. - When someone says something you disagree with there is no need to snort laugh and say okay buddy, whatever . If you do this, you are only proving that you're closed minded and not open to another person's perspective.
Debate is a touchy thing but it is where some of the greatest ideas are born. I'm concerned about the state of communication to see that more and more people are growing afraid of language and how it can be used to discuss the things that are happening around them. Don't be afraid to speak and to voice your opinions. The problem with language is that it can be twisted to serve someone's needs. Stop twisting the ideas - stop twisting the language. Listen to someone else and open your mind to the fact that there could be other opinions besides your own out there.
Are you afraid of language? Why? Do you feel it stops you from gaining a different perspective because you're afraid to ask a question?