Iím so excited to read a bit of Lily and James from you! Well, Iíd be thrilled to read anything from you, but having it be of my favorite people is an extra treat ;).
I really, really liked this first section with Lilyís thoughts dwelling on him. How it started, with her refusal to Ďhateí him because that was for the cowardly really spoke a lot about her character. You kept alive that sense that they donít like each other, or at least that he doesnít like her, but at the same time itís clear that the amount of time sheís spending dwelling on him wouldnít be just because she dislikes him.
She seems very intrigued by him, like she wants to dislike his ability to do certain things like write a perfect essay without any planning, then let it be passed all around his group, but more than anything she just wants to figure it all out.
I like how Lily kind of takes herself in full circle during this second section and her thoughts regarding Petunia. You canít blame her for wanting, even if itís just that occasional tiny moment, to be able to give it all up. But by the end of it, she knows normal isnít for her.
Ahh my heart got a bit on the feelsy side with the latter half of this second section. I love the idea of Lily being, not quite ashamed, but almost, of where she comes from. Itís like sheís already expecting James to turn around and leave because she is Ďjust lilyí in this. In the crappy town she grew up with, without Hogwarts and all its magic surrounding her. And then James, in his usual fashion, says something really incredibly and makes my heart melt.
I like seeing such a judgmental side of Lily in this third section. Youíre making it obvious that she isnít perfect, sheís even a bit self centered to think she could be the only one to slave the way she does to get everything she wants, and that James just gets it all on a silver spoon. Not that thereís no truth to that, Iím sure from her point of view there is. But everyone has to struggle in someway or another, and I like that Lily doesnít really seem to see that.
And even when she comes upon James, half intoxicated and alone, she still canít understand that he could have things dwelling in his shadows that she has no idea about. She calls him the naive one, but in this part she seems just as naive as him and I really love the irony of that.
Aww this end is actually rather bittersweet. Obviously we know they finally work things out, but the look into how deeply she may have hurt him.. and again, you gave us a really good bit of irony to play with. She spent so long disliking James because he would pick on students and such, and the things he did werenít nice, but was she that much better when she called him hurtful things and acted so much better than him? Her look into how much her judgement and lecturing may have hurt him was very, very sweet in a odd way. We always heart that James grew up and thatís when Lily fell for him, but youíre giving us a different look into this. That maybe they both grew up and thatís how they fell for each other.
This was a really wonderful one shot. I love that you let it stand on itís emotions and imagery, without needing some elaborate story behind it. It was a piece that just grabs your heart, and I think you wrote it beautifully. ♥
Author's Response: Thank you very much for this review! I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to respond to it - it's a fantastic review, and those always make me balk when I come to my responses page. It means a lot to have feedback from an expert on the James and Lily relationship, but your review is so positive that it's left me speechless! XD
The one worry I always have with writing James and Lily is that James could easily become that "nice guy" who pesters a girl until she agrees to go out with him. I didn't want James to be like that, but it meant navigating a fine balance. I'm glad that you like how it turned out, with Lily being curious about him... more curious than she could be if she just hated him. She's drawn to him from the beginning, but she's constantly put off by his recklessness and irreverence. Lily as I've written her here struggles with the juxtaposition of his genius with his role as troublemaker - she wants to admire the genius, but she dislikes the troublemaker, and it places her in an awkward position.
Your interpretation of the Cokeworth scene is fantastic - it goes beyond what I intended for the scene, making Lily's reaction even more significant. James is being sincere, and she almost wants him to leave in a huff - that would make sense to her because it's what most of the other purebloods would do. The culture of Hogwarts and the wizarding world have made her ashamed of her origins, but James doesn't care, and that does a lot to change her opinion of him. She won't admit it in this soon, but it's a scene that she won't forget.
Haha, yes, Lily is very judgemental. It made sense to depict her in that way after reading "the Prince's Tale" - why else would she walk away from her best friend? - and it also gives her a weakness, something she can't really help, but that seriously affects her relationships with others (one could also say that it's something she shares with Petunia). It means that her idea of James Potter is skewed - she sees him in one way, and it takes her a long time to realize that it's an inaccurate view. Her confusion really shows in that last part, and I also make it confusing for the reader by never explaining why James is in that state.
You have the story in a nutshell when you write that they both grew up. I hate the idea that Lily just fell for him one day - it doesn't suit her personality - so I wanted to see what would happen if both Lily and James had to change. It's fantastic to hear that it worked so well. :D
Thank you again for your wondrous review!