Growing up my father taught me a few things. I learned never to play poker with a one-eyed man named Louie, to never borrow money from a guy with tattoos and to always be prepared. However, my old man didn’t teach me everything. Below are a few questions about women Pops has left me to figure out on my own. Can I get a little help please?
1. How do you feel after a one night stand?
2. Do you ever get used to wearing a thong?
3. Does it hurt?
4. Do you know when you are acting crazy?
5. Does size really matter?
6. When the bill comes are you still a feminist?
7. Why do you take so long to get ready?
8. Do you watch porn, too?
9. Will something from Tiffany’s solve everything?
10. Are guys as big of a mystery to you as you are to us?
11. Why do you sometimes think you look fat?
Here I am getting ready for work in the morning, pondering the unknown.
12. Why are you always late? (oh yeah, see question six!)
13. Does it bother you when we scratch?
14. Do you wish you could pee standing up?
15. Why do so many women cut their hair short as soon as they get married?
16. How often do you think about sex?
17. What do you think of women who sleep with guys on the first date?
18. Would you?
19. Do you realize every guy wants a girl just like his mom?
20. Why does every woman think she can change him?
21. Does it matter what car I drive?
22. Do you ever fart?