Birthplace: Philadelphia Pa
Age lost virginity: 15
Age first started dancing: 22
Age first sold my body for money: 26
SP: what is a funny thing to say to someone when they first wake up? Is it wearing a gas mask then saying, “we need to move fast!”
KS: what was your name again?
SP: what is the best tv show to have on while having sex on a couch?
KS: Talk Sex With Dr. Sue
SP: which of these qualities about me do you find most appealing (or which should i amplify about myself to be more appealing):
B. can grow pretty insane beard that turns red with sunlight (like red red, not orange red)
C. am very polite in the classical sense
D. can perform devastating right hook
E. am good kisser and am always very funny first thing in morning, like when showering
KS: either c or d
SP: write a four line autobiography of your favorite piece of clothing.
KS: my fav piece of clothing is a black, red and white teddy with skulls, hearts, and the words "love" written in the hearts. I always make decent money when i wear it. It fits me like a glove and knows my every move, and it ran away from its former owner to come "hang out" on me
SP: what is your favorite book/who is your favorite author?
KS: The Power of Now, Eckert Tolle
SP: is there any way to avoid being hated by people? if so how? and does it involve randomly handing out cupcakes?
KS: To avoid hate one must be able to avoid jealousy, and females are EXTREMELY jealous. They assume just because I have worked in a brothel that I'll fuck ANYONE, have aids, and am after every man, woman and child on the planet for sex, which is absurd. I have tried to make friends for years in this business and its not an easy thing to do. I just smile and keep plugging away at em with kindness and wish them the happiness they lack because theyre so busy hating on successful women who use their bodies for an income they have little time for anything else, i.e making money at the strip club, etc.
SP: describe the last date you were on.
KS: last date i was on i went to a place called the rainbow springs in ocala and swam and kayacked for the day. It was very serene.
SP: when mc hammer claimed to be "too legit to quit" did you ever question this self-proclaimed legitimacy? and can one be "too" legit or is legitimacy a finite state?
KS: Hey, all i can say it this. STOP. HAMMER TIME.
SP: what is the stupidest television show you watch and why is it stupid.
KS: Brett Michaels' Bus of Love and i watch it as i am dying to see Brett somehow lose his bandana and let the world discover he is indeed completely bald under those bandanas
SP: describe your reaction in full after the following scenario: i just presented you with a peanut butter and raspberry jelly sandwich that i have cut to look like a heart (note, I am smiling the whole time and the smile seems genuine, not diabolical)
KS: I'm a true romantic and i would not only find it endearing, but you'd probably get a blow job as soon as i were done eating it!
SP: make up an afterlife and describe it here (you have to use the phrase "black nipples leaking honey into a blind man's eyes"
KS: Well, the blind man drew his last breath, yet he still felt his presence as a being. He felt himself float up from the hospital bed and thought "well, I'll be damned, the lord intends for me to be blind in heaven? Or maybe I'm not headed there at all? He began to panic. Shortly thereafter, a woman approached him, he could not see her, but he could smell her and she said hello and by her voice he felt she may be african american. She said "fear not, cracker, because the boss has sent me down here to handle your mishap; from now on, you're straight, boo. With that she pulled out a gorgeous set a breasts the poor man again could not see, to wish she gently put one of her nipples into her mouth.They began to emit a sweet fluid, and he drank some. "Now here you go" she said, and put the nipples up to his eyes and began to squeeze them of their nectar like substance. With her black nipples leaking honey into a blind mans eyes, he began to realize he could see again! He gave her 20 dollars, and went on his way,now that he could see, he realized he was gay and saw a REALLY boyish looking angel across the room. After soliciting him, he went directly to hell. The end.
KS: FALSE. I have never watched it.
SP: LIAR! what is something someone says that immediately precludes having sex with him/her
KS: ...would you like to get more comfortable?
SP: what is an action you perform that symbolically lets another person into your personal life.
KS: Opening myself up to them and offering my friendship. I would say its when i give them my number
SP: is there hope for humanity.
KS: I wish there was, but fear we may have already gone too far to save things. I hate knowing our species is the only one that destroys not only themselves but their world as well, for what? some green paper?!?!
SP: did your parents ever reward you for good grades or did they only get angry if you got bad grades?
KS: i was rewarded for good grades, of course! :)
SP: name one thing you would hand out to the entire world on your birthday if you could
KS: a genie who would provide them with the way for that person to obtain whatever it is that they needed in order to be happy
SP: what is the "douchiest" age for men?
KS: to me its not an age but a male’s cleanliness that makes him "douchy"
SP: when a man cheats on a woman, why does the woman always seem to get mad at the other woman and not the man.
KS: its a primal thing, ever seen 2 female dogs in heat fight over a male dog? And most females get pissed at the man for cheating and often cut the woman a break if she was unaware that the man had a female counterpart, but if the woman was aware she gets angry with the woman because it shows a complete lack of respect
SP: if you could live in a family like on STEP BY STEP, who would you choose as your siblings?
KS: siblings suck; they just make your inheritance smaller
SP: do you ever get randomly dizzy in your kitchen and almost fall, or is that just me?
KS: i get dizzy from time to time if i get up too quickly, but it being a kitchen thing is just you, buddy. :)
SP: would you watch a porno where there was no sex and it was just a guy making popcorn for a girl who was sitting on a couch with a blanket over her legs and then the climax of the movie was when the guy fixes the blanket so it's over the girl's feet?
KS: maybe once, but not because it would turn me on, just to see something so obscure
SP: if you were on a walk and you saw a raccoon and it screamed and glitter came out of the scream, what would you do?
KS: make sure i get more shrooms from whoever i just bought them from
SP: what would be the message you'd write on a decorative helium balloon?
KS: "I'm only gonna fly til i run out of gas, brother"