Episode Sounds: 1ACV05 - Fear of a Bot Planet
- Fry: "I don't get this. Is Blernsball exactly the same as baseball?"
Farnsworth: "Baseball? God forbid."
Leela: "Face it, Fry, baseball was as boring as mom and apple pie. That's why they jazzed it up."
Fry: "Boring? Baseball wasn't...hmm, so they finally jazzed it up."
- Fry: "What just happened? Why is the ball on that sproingy thing?"
Leela: "It's traditional. Just like aluminum bats and the seventh inning grope."
- Zoidberg: "I'd like a jumbo squidlog please."
Man: "We don't sell those."
Zoidberg: "All right, all right, let me have one of your young on a roll."
Man: "We're out of rolls."
Zoidberg: "Fine! Just give me something crawling with parasites." (gets handed a hotdog, then eating/growling sounds)
Fry: "Mmm! At least hot dogs haven't changed."
- Leela: "Miller's on a pace to hit 70 blerns."
Professor: "He's good, all right, but he's no Clem Johnson. And Johnson played back in the days before steroid injections were mandatory!"
- Professor: "Chapek IX was colonized centuries ago by a murderous crew of radical robot separatists."
Bender: "Oh, so just cause a robot wants to kill humans, that makes him a radical."
- Leela: "Hey, hold on. I understand these robots hate humans, but how do they feel about humanoid aliens?"
Professor: "They're not fans."
- Bender: "Oh, I get it, make the robot do all the work!"
Leela: "This is the first actual work you've ever had to do around here."
Bender: "Well, I'm not doing it! It's a robot holiday."
Fry: "Really? Which one?"
Bender: "Only Robannukah, the holiest two weeks on the robot calendar."
Leela: "Aw, come on, Bender. Last month it was Robamadan. And before that, Robanzaa."
Fry: "Man, that one was a blast!"
Bender: "It wasn't just a blast! It was a sacred tribute to my ancestral prototypes...which happened to take the form of a drinking contest."
- Bender: "But so help me, I'll hold a grudge against every last stinking one of you for the rest of your lives!"
Professor: "Well, then it's settled! So long, everyone."
- Fry: "So let me get this straight. This planet is completely uninhabited?"
Bender: "No, it's inhabited by robots."
Fry: "Oh, kinda like how a warehouse is inhabited by boxes."
- Bender: "Yes Ms. Leela, tote that spacebarge, lift that spacebale."
- Robot #1: "Administer the test."
Robot #2: "Which of the following would you most prefer? A: a puppy, B: a pretty flower from your sweety, or C: a large properly formatted data file?"
Robot #1: "Choose!" (Leela and Fry whisper)
Fry: "Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way?"
Robot #2: "No, it is the bad kind of puppy."
Leela: "Then we'll go with that data file!"
Robot #2: "Correct."
Robot #1: "The flower would also have been acceptable."
Robot #2: "You may pass."
- Robot: "Sir, are you aware that you're leaking coolant at an alarming rate?"
Robot: "Let me just patch you up with some hot resin."
Fry: "I think the leak's stopping itself! Wait...wait...yeah! There we go. Wait...yeah."
Robot: "What sort of robot turns down a free blast of searing hot resin?"
- Robot man: "The human was impervious to our most powerful magnetic fields, yet in the end he succumbed to a harmless sharpened stick. Heh heh heh."
Robot woman: "I'm just glad the nightmare is over."
Robot man: "It'll never be over, Wendy. Even now, humans are lurking in our playgrounds...our (?)...perhaps even our movie theaters! (screams in the theater)"
Fry: "God help us!"
- Leela: "Try to stay with the crowd so no one notices how crummy you look."
Robot: "Aw, that was uncalled for."
Fry: "I'm over here!"
- Robot #1: "I heard a human was draining coolant behind garbage can 738!"
Robot #2: "I heard they unscrew our lugnuts at night and eat them at their human brunches!"
- Robot: "We have with us today a guest whose irrational hatred of humans makes me look like a human sympathizer." (laughter)
- Bender: "Death to humans!" (cheers)
Fry: "Aww, it's good to hear his voice."
- Fry: "My God, he's become evil! I mean eviler."
- Bender: "Now, your basic human is between 3 and 25 feet tall, and is made of a hairy, oily goo wrapped in a t-shirt."
Robot #1: "Is it true they bite your neck and suck your transmission fluid and then you become a human?"
Bender: "Sure, why not?"
Robot #2: "Anything in the trap?"
Bender: "Nothing! Today's active humans prefer a low calorie bait."
Robot #2: "Well, that makes 146,000 unsuccessful hunts in a row."
- Bender: "Wait...what's that?"
Robot: "That's the old abandoned adult bookstore. Nothing in there except maybe a few shreds of moldy old robot pornography."
Bender: "Hmm...sounds like a breeding ground for humans. I'd better check it out!"
- Fry: "But Bender, we're your friends!"
Bender: "Friends? That activates my hilarity unit! I'm just a machine to you. You're no more friends of me than you are with the toaster or the phonograph or the electric chair!"
- Robot Judge: "Thank you, prosecutor. I will now consider the evidence."
Fry: "Hey, wait a minute! Isn't anyone gonna defend us?"
Leela: "Yeah! I mean, he may not have a case...but I'm genuinely not human!"
Robot: "Quiet, human!" (collective gasp)
Robot #2: "Uh oh, he froze up again."
Robot #3: "Try control, alt, delete!"
Robot #4: "Jiggle the cord!"
Robot #5: "Turn him off and on!"
Robot #6: "Clean the gunk out of the mouse!"
Fry: "Call technical support!"
Robot #2: "Ok, ok, he's back online."
- Bender: "Humans are no threat to us. They're stupid, putrid, cowards!"
Fry: "Damn right!"
Bender: "The fact is, humans are completely harmless."
Robot #1: "We're well aware of that."
Bender: "You are?"
Robot #1: "Of course. But they're useful to us as a scapegoat to distract the public from their real problems."
Robot #2: "Like our crippling lugnut shortage."
Robot #3: "And a corrupt government of incompetent robot elders."
Robot #4: "Duh, that's for sure!"
Robot #1: "Quiet, Jimmy."
Bender: "Well, I'm glad we got all that out in the open."
- Fry: "Stop! Take one more step, and I'll...breathe fire on you!"
Leela: "He'll do it! He's crazy!"
Robot #1: "Can they really breathe fire, or did we make that up?"
Robot #2: "Gee, I can't remember anymore. It might just be from that stupid movie."
Robot #3: "Was that the original or the remake?"
Robot #4: "I don't...hey, they're getting away!"
- Fry: "So long, suckers! Uh...hello, suckers!"
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