36 years ago today, Paul Simon's song "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" hit #1 on the charts. As a kid, I remember hearing the song over and over and over and over and over on the radio and asking myself, 'what are the other 45 ways to leave your lover?' Simon suggests slipping out of the back, getting on a bus, making a new plan and dropping off the key. That's only 5 examples. Since then, I've been dumped by phone, during an argument, straight- up left and as a mutual agreement. Other people have come home to an empty house, had their bank accounts cashed out or, in a real 21st century fashion, discovered that their lover had changed their Facebook status to 'single'! The humanity! Today we wanted to know: HOW HAVE YOU LEFT A LOVER OR HOW DID A LOVER LEAVE YOU?
Ditched her boyfriend on a road trip to Vegas
Got dumped by phone while in Marine boot camp
Over the phone, while his mother was in intensive care
Her ex- fiancé told his mother, his mother told her mother and then her mother finally told her
Broke up with a girl at her grandfather's funeral
Just never talked to her ex again... changed her number, no texts, no social networking, etc
Shot her in the head... with a potato gun... he didn't know there was a potato in it
She stole a bunch of his stuff and trashed his place
His girlfriend let her ex move in as a roommate... you can figure out the rest
Dumped his ex- girlfriend on her birthday
Left her husband for a woman... she was a lesbian, had always denied her inner- truth and then finally came to terms with it... thing is, this was the SECOND time this guy had been dumped by a woman for another woman. The guy must have no self esteem left
We also had a quick side discussion about Ronald McDonald, The Burger King king, Jack of 'in- the- box' fame and Wendy... which of them would you think is most likely to have an STD. We all agreed that Jack is the one.
SIT AND SPIN
Last week we played Kool and the Gang, since they are opening for Van Halen in May, and there was A LOT of backlash because, as the haters put it, KISW should NEVER, EVER play such garbage... and on and on it went. Well, Jolene pulled 15 turds that suck far worse than Kool and the Gang. Here's the link... you've warned!
Ok bitches, I'm outta here.
Until tomorrow, if you see a crook, give them a hug and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"