You gave your teen (or tween) a phone so the two of you could better communicate with text messages. But so far all you’re getting from the kid is a bunch of IDKs — which translates to “I don’t know” — the text equivalent of a shrug and a grunt. Here are some do’s and don’ts to help keep the lines of communication open:
Set rules. You need to clearly outline what you expect from your child when it comes to texting. Tell her she needs to text you whenever she goes somewhere, even if it is three different places in one night. She should respond promptly to your texts. You’ll want to limit when she can text, too. For instance, experts say to keep the phone out of the kid’s bedroom at night. Texting at the dinner table or in a movie are also big no-nos.
Follow your own rules. When your teen texts, text him back pronto. “If you want them to respond quickly, then you need to do so, too,” says Shawn Marie Edgington, author of “Read Between the Lines: A Humorous Guide to Texting With Simplicity and Style.”
Short and sweet. This is not the time for Faulkneresque prose that rambles on past the allotted 160 characters. Nothing turns a kid off more than having to wade through multiple messages. Keep it brief and get to the point. Limit yourself to one question per text as it’s considered bad form, not to mention confusing.
Check your tone. IF YOU WRITE IN ALL CAPS WITH LOTS OF EXCLAMATION POINTS, IT SEEMS LIKE YOU’RE YELLING!!!!! The last thing you want to do is get into a prolonged text fight with your child because your message sounded unnecessarily brusque.
Watch the nagging. Don’t make every text a request to take out the garbage or a reminder to load the dishwasher. Your teen might well tune out on all of your texts, assuming you’re just hounding him again. If you do need to ask him to do something, take a softer approach. “Don’t put all these demands on them without first asking, ‘How was your day?’ ” Edgington says.
Type it out. You’re not a kid, so don’t text like one. Layoff the OMG (oh my God) and LOL (laugh out loud). It’s sort of like a 50-year-old woman wearing a midriff. It doesn’t make you seem younger — it makes you seem ridiculous. In fact, the increased popularity of abbreviations has made them passé — even for teens.
Remain nameless. You don’t need to sign your texts “Love, Mom.” Your kid knows the text is from you. By staying anonymous, Edgington says, your teens “can easily update you where they are going without looking like a dork.”