It always seems to happen with a guy friend: At some point, one of you wants something more from your relationship. Sometimes, you actually start dating, and sometimes…it just gets awkward.
That's why we were psyched to see a new study from Boise State University that pinpointed why some of these friendships keep going, while others totally bomb.
Researchers interviewed people who had a thing for a friend, as well as that friend, and realized there were some common factors in the friendships that lasted.
Here's the breakdown:
•Both people kept working at it.
Duh, right? But most people shut down when a friend says they're into them, and then…things fall apart. People who said they really valued the friendship and kept working at it stayed buddies.
•They really wanted to be friends.
You've probably been a in a situation where you're tight with a guy, only to have him disappear when you make it clear you don't want to date him. But guys who just want to be in your life will stick around.
•They got over it.
Both friends had to accept that the feelings weren't mutual and move on.
•They were tight beforehand.
If you and a guy friend had been buddies for years, you're way more likely to keep being friends than if you just started hanging out.
•They talked about deeper stuff.
Researchers found that people who had always talked about feelings (what they were insecure about, how they felt about exes, etc.) were more likely to get over it than those who talked about more superficial stuff like other friends and what you're going to do this weekend.
So if your best guy friend suddenly tells you he loves you, skip the "I'm just not ready to be in a relationship now" line. Just be honest and tell him you don't feel the same way. Once you give him a little time to process that, let him know that you really love being with him (just not, you know, that way). Then, it's his move.