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"The Alphabiotic Alignment/Unification Process is accomplished with you lying on the back, with your head at the high end of the Alphabiotic Couch. It involves a gentle, though unique, movement of the head and is accomplished in less than fifteen seconds."*
Alphabiotics is an alternative medical practice based on the notion that "all disease is the result of an imbalance and lack of Life Energy." Health depends on "aligning" and "balancing" "Life Energy." The alignment and balance is achieved by neck manipulation and is called the "Alphabiotic alignment." Or maybe not. Recent websites make bolder claims about affecting the brain and back off from assertions that would identify alphabiotics with energy medcine. Alphabiotics is called "the new science of stress relief," but I could not find any scientific papers published in any reputable science journals that demonstrate the effectiveness of alphabiotics. Given the vague nature of the terms used to describe what alphabiotics allegedly does, it seems impossible to design a double-blind controlled test of the practice.
According to Alphabiotics.net:
The Alphabiotic Alignment is a hands-on process which instantly unifies the brain hemispheres, balances the energies within the nerve system and muscles and releases stress held within the mind/body. In this state of Alignment you begin to function better on levels [sic]: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual, placing you in a more favorable position to heal yourself.
Alphabiotics is the brainchild of Dr. V. B. Chrane who started practicing it in the 1920's near Abilene, Texas. It was "established as a unique new profession by Dr. Virgil Chrane, Jr., on December 28, 1971," according to Virgil Chrane, Jr., and the practice is still flourishing with Virgil Jr. and his son, Dr. Michael Chrane.
Alphabiotics is NOT about chiropractic, therapeutic manipulations, medicine, energetic healing or massage therapy. We don’t treat, heal, cure or diagnose.*
What does alphabiotics do, then?
Alphabiotics has discovered how to tap into the Power of Life that is within each of us. They have shown us how to utilize the unlimited, Intelligent Power that is ever standing by, ready to solve our problems, manifest our dreams and keep us in a constant state of physical, emotional, and spiritual balance and harmony.
The Chranes train new alphbioticists in three or four days, but some states have board certification that requires months of training. No medical background is required.
In 2000, the Washington state Commission of Chiropractic Quality Assurance determined that some aspects of the alphabiotics alignment process are indistinguishable from chiropractic and that certain techniques used are associated with risk of stroke. The only person I've ever heard from who has been to an alphabioticist claims the practitioner described the practice as "healing the nervous system." She said she had an adjustment done and felt more balanced, less nervous, and no pain in the neck area after the adjustment. (She had been slapped around by her boyfriend.) Do some people feel better after alphabiotics? I don't doubt it. Does relaxation help relieve stress? Many studies indicate it does. Does alphabiotics relax people and relieve stress? It may well do so. Does it do this by "allowing the body to return to homeostasis"? I don't think anyone knows what that means and that may be why there are no scientific papers about a return to homeostasis from alphabiotics. Is alphabiotics a type of placebo medicine? Probably. Does that mean it's worthless? No.
"Alphabiotics" Practitioner Loses Chiropractic License Stephen Barrett, M.D.
Alternative Medicine and the Laws of Physics by Robert L. Park
Alphabiotics: Sorry guys, it's a cult! by Aaron Sakulich
Energy Healing: Looking in All the Wrong Places by Robert Todd Carroll
Why Bogus Therapies Often Seem to Work by Barry L. Beyerstein
Mal-adjusted Seattle Weekly