There are reports from a certain New York publication that Donnie Walsh still has his eyes on a certain 19 year old from Spain. No, the pedophilia laws in Spain are not more lenient for older, upper class Caucasian males. Walsh is still looking for ways to acquire Ricky Rubio, the Spanish prodigy originally drafted by the Minnesota Timberwolves.
“You know how I be. Last week Kobe couldn’t do without me. You know how I be. Last week Kobe couldn’t do without me.
I call myself ‘Big,’ but I’m not as good as Biggie. I call myself ‘Big’ ’cause I live next to Diddy. Excuse me. Diddy lives next to me. So in the hood, dog, I feel like Big. ‘Cause if Biggie was still here He would be right there. On Star Island in a mansion somewhere Chillin. Sittin on about half a billion. Cuz me and Gunz combine shit. That’s half a billion. For real dog, Now that’s BIG. And can’t nobody in the world do it bigger than me. That’s like a white boy trynna be more nigga than me. That’s like a homeless man havin more figures than me. That’s like Patrick Ewing havin more rings than me. That’s like rappers havin cars… things than me. That’s like you sayin to yourself you better than me. That’s like Kareem sayin to hisself he better than me. Now stop. Think about that. It ain’t about that. It’s about BIG AKA Big Shaq. Now, that’s the difference between first and last place. Kobe. Nigga. Tell me how my ass taste.
Okay. Kobe, tell me how my ass taste. Okay. Everybody. Kobe, tell me how my ass taste.
I’m a horse. Kobe ratted me out. That’s why I’m getting divorced. He said Shaq gave a bitch a mil. I don’t do that. ‘Cause my names ‘Shaquille.’ I love ‘em. But I don’t leave ‘em. I got a vasectomy, now I can’t breed ‘em.
Kobe, how my ass taste? Everybody. Kobe, how my ass taste? Yeah!
You couldn’t do without me. Kobe, you couldn’t do without me. Kobe, you can’t do without me. Everybody. Kobe how my ass tastes?
Yeah. You can’t do without me. Yeah. You can’t do without me. Yeah. You can’t do without me. Everybody! Kobe…
I thought a transcript might prove helpful for anyone (like myself) who may have undergone a little shell-shock watching Sunday night’s installment of the newest Negro Channel reality program, Shaq Fu: Can’t Stay Away.
BET cameras lazily follow Shaq around malls, strip malls, strip clubs, club clubs and pep rallies… all while he should be preparing for the upcoming season.
Obviously Black Announcer:This week, The Diesel pops some shit at Kobe.
Couldn’t you see it now? It’d be just like Keyshia Cole’s shit. Wayyyy better than College Hill.