When someone who has died appears to you in a dream, are they communicating with you from spirit, or are these dreams symbolic? Dreaming of a loved one after death can be the most precious, comforting, uplifting experience, especially when the dream is full of love, embraces, and tender messages, and when the person looks healthy, full of life, and perhaps even presents at a different age – younger for someone who died in old age, adult for a child who died young.
Many a bereaved dreamer cherishes such exquisite moments in a dream, and although they wake up to a world empty of their loved one, they draw on strengths from the night-time encounter and a feeling of receiving support from spirit to get through the early days.
Many more wish they could have just one such dream, and often feel devastated and abandoned when they discover their loved one is appearing in other people’s dreams, but not in their own.
On the other hand, many bereaved people have experienced distressing dreams where the deceased person, who was loving and kind in life, is completely different in dreams – angry, blaming, hurtful, controlling, or condemning. In other cases, people who were difficult in life continue to be difficult in dreams, often leaving the dreamer feeling the deceased person is controlling him and restraining him from moving on with life.
There are instances where accurate information has been communicated by the deceased in dreams, information, for example, about the circumstances of death that have been later verified, however these are extremely rare. Contact through dreams in the early days following death may sometimes be the case, but as time passes, you can be increasingly certain that these dreams are symbolic. If a loving person acts negatively in a dream, you can be certain your dream is symbolic.
Dreams of the deceased usually deal with grief and healing. For example, it is normal, during grieving, to feel angry with the person for dying and abandoning you, even though this is irrational. When anger, abandonment and blame come up in your dreams, these are your own emotions being processed. When forgiveness and letting go come up in these dreams, these reflect your own readiness to heal and move on, your own resting in peace.
Look at the person appearing in your dream as symbolising your loss, or your feelings about death, or your feelings about that person and the role they played in your life, and then see the rest of the dream as exploring and resolving these issues within yourself.
[Extract from 101 Dream Interpretation Tips, Jane Teresa Anderson]
Further reading: Dreams of death and the departed
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