Chapter 51: Coming Back to Existence
Similarly you can bring your inner darkness, and that feeling is very cool. If you can bring it, you are protected by it: no excitement, no passion will disturb you. Try it. These three things: stare in darkness with open eyes and allow the darkness to enter within. Secondly: feel darkness as a mother’s womb all around; live with it; forget yourself more and more in it. And thirdly: carry a patch of darkness in your heart wherever you go.
If you can do this, the darkness will become the light. You will be enlightened through darkness.
When a moonless rainy night is not present, close eyes and find blackness before you. Opening eyes, see blackness.
That’s the method. First feel it inside, feel it deeply so you can perceive it out. Then open the eyes suddenly and feel it out. It will take time.
So faults disappear forever.
And if you can bring the inner darkness outside, faults disappear forever, because if the inner darkness is felt, you have become so cool, so silent, so unexcitable, that faults cannot remain with you.
Remember this: faults can exist only if you are prone to be excited, if you tend to be excited. They don’t exist in themselves; they exist in your capacity to get excited. Someone insults you, and you have no darkness within to absorb the insult; you become inflamed, you get angry, you get fiery, and then everything is possible. You can be violent, you can kill, you can do what only a madman can do. Anything is possible - you are now mad. Someone praises you: you again go mad to the other extreme.
All around you there are situations, and you are not capable of absorbing. Insult a master: he can absorb it, he can simply swallow it, digest it. Who digests that insult? An inner pool of darkness, silence. You throw anything poisoned; it is absorbed. No reaction comes out of it.
Try this, and when someone insults you, just remember that you are filled with darkness, and suddenly you will feel there is no reaction. You pass through a street; you see a beautiful woman or a man - you get excited. Feel that you are filled with darkness; suddenly the passion will disappear. You try it. This is absolutely experimental, there is no need to believe it.
When you feel that you are filled with passion or desire or sex, simply remember the inner darkness. For a single moment close your eyes and feel darkness and see - the passion has disappeared, the desire is no more there. The inner darkness has absorbed it. You have become an infinite vacuum into which anything can fall and it will not return. You are now like an abyss.