A friend of mine is getting ready to leave a company they have been with for a long time. They held a position that came with a lot of perks, a very important title and a lot of stress. Watching this friend go through the transition from high-profile CEO to a position in a smaller company that does not have immediate name recognition by the general public has made me think about how much our jobs and our titles define us. Sometimes we give our jobs more importance than we even realize which can lead to that imbalance between life and work that is talked about so often.
If who we are in our job defines who we are in our lives are we giving equal weight to both roles? Do we give equal effort to our roles as parent, spouse, and friend? Who are we? What do we do for a living? Is there a difference between the two?
For some, their career is who they are. For others, it may be hard to know the difference between dedication and definition. Here are some ways you can use to determine if you might be defined by your job.
- Your title is VERY important to you
- You value people and activities based on how it effects/benefits your career
- Your passions in life are all work related
- You feel emotionally empty and/or restless when you’re not working
- When things don’t go well on the job, you take it personally
- Almost all conversations have references to work in them
- You make yourself available all the time for work calls, emails, meetings, etc.
- If you lost your job, you would feel completely worthless
If you find that you are defined by your job, you may choose to reorganize your priorities. It can be easy to fall into the trap of being defined by what you do rather than who you are. Think about how you spent your free time before you became so career-focused. What do you like to do outside of work? How can you redefine achievement and accomplishment in your life? When you describe yourself absent the work that you do, who are you? List the top ten things you would like to do if resources were not an issue to see your true personal passions revealed.
We play so many roles in our lives- CEO, parent, partner, child- and it is the incorporation of each of them that strikes that balance. Putting too much weight into any one of those roles causes a crisis of identity that will not help us in our career or our lives. Don’t forget you are more than your job and so much more than one title will allow.