Carl Rogers used the term Incongruence to describe feelings of depression and unhappiness caused by not living the life we really want to. Rogers felt that individuals could have a good job, marriage and children but still feel unhappy, a key element of Incongruence.
Rogers believed that these feelings of unhappiness are important because they serve to remind us that we aren’t on the path we would really like to be. He felt that we often take a direction in life based on societies values and principles rather than our own. These are programmed into us during childhood by our parents and other authority figures which we accept without question, and which stay with us throughout adulthood. An example could be a career path we are encouraged to pursue, or a marriage we are encouraged to stay in rather than risk societal and family rejection or disapproval.
The key is to follow our own personal value system, which Rogers called the ‘organismic valuing process’, or risk feelings of Incongruence. How can counselling help us get in touch with our true value system?
Rogers believed the role of the counsellor is to interpret what is being said to them by their client, and not try to analyse their unconscious as recommended by Freud. The counsellor needs to reflect back to the client so that they can become more aware of their feelings and the situation they are in. The client can then think about what is making them unhappy in their present situation and discover the path they would like to take.