The importance of fairies, gnomes, etc. to Waldorf is somewhat difficult to divine. At our local waldorf school there seems to be more talk of gnomes and fairies. Now, gnomes are a very important part of anthroposophy. To Steiner, they are part of his body of scientific knowledge. Just the way we most people say "rain water erodes the earth to make rivers and canyons," Steiner would say, "gnomes push the plants out of the earth and make them grow upwards."
To Steiner this was considered a scientific fact. According to Steiner, gnomes also produce parasites and possess a unique gravity. Gnomes are also part of Steiner's cosmology, being spiritual beings that result from a fallen human incarnation. So, be good, or you may come back as a gnome.
You can learn more about gnomes at OpenWaldorf's Steiner Says
page. You can also perform a Google search on gnomes
at the Rudolf Steiner archive. This way you can read Steiner's words in the original context and form your own opinion on his view.
How does this play out at Waldorf? It really depends. One of the main factors is how committed your teacher is to anthroposophy. You can just ask them what they think about gnomes/fairies. "Are they real?" "Are they make believe?" "They seem to be an important part of the curriculum. Why?" "Did Steiner think gnomes were real? Do you agree with Steiner?" Two questions I like to ask are "was rudolf steiner clairvoyant?" and "is there anything steiner says that you disagree with?" this is sort of like asking a catholic school teacher "did jesus rise from the dead?" it helps you understand how your individual teacher is aligned with regards to anthroposophy.
You can also do what I did as my daughter got older, and simply teach her that gnomes/fairies aren't "real" (let's not debate the essence of reality). Unless, of course, you believe they are, like some Waldorf parents do.
Finally, I must point out that we all believe pretty weird things. Rather than generalize, ask questions to understand your individual Waldorf experience, and participate at your own comfort level. I've really been thinking about this lately, and will probably add something to the Waldorf Parent's Survival Guide
along this them. At Waldorf, as with anywhere, (1) never be afraid to ask questions (2) speak up if you disagree with something. let the school know, and manage it with your child (3) never be afraid to let your parenting authority override waldorf's. if your child would like to read at an early age, encourage that if you wish. if you feel like it's not a big deal to watch the grinch on tv once a year, let her do it.
My opinion is that the notion of fairies/gnomes as real creatures is no big deal. So what if some teachers believe that? As I alluded to before, all kinds of teachers believe all kinds of weird things. And so what if teachers teach assuming this as fact? If you disagree, teach your kids otherwise.
My only negative experience with gnomes was that I noticed that gnomes sometimes get used to explain away bad behavior of other kids, and even teachers. My daughter had her share of a class snack swiped from her desk while she was passing the snacks out to the class,
and the teacher's response was "a little gnome must have taken it." I would have much preferred for the teacher to stop the class, and get the guilty party to return it. Instead, the teacher didn't even replace the snack, and my daughter had to watch all the other kids eat their snack, wondering why a gnome had taken hers. In case you're wondering, that's the day I told her gnomes aren't real. : )