How we change what others think, feel, believe and do
Relaxed Body Language
A relaxed body generally lacks tension. Muscles are relaxed and loose. Movement is fluid and the person seems happy or unconcerned overall.
The torso may sag slightly to one side (but not be held there by irregular tension). It may also be well-balanced, with the shoulders balanced above the pelvis. It does not curl up with fear, though it may curl up in a restful pose.
Shoulders are not tensed up and generally hang loosely down.
Breathing is steady and slower. This may make the voice a little lower than usual.
The color of the skin is generally normal, being neither reddened by anger or embarrassment, nor pale with fear. There are no unusual patches, for example on the neck or cheeks.
Relaxed limbs hang loosely. They do not twitch and seldom cross one another, unless as a position of comfort.
Tense arms are rigid and may be held close to the body. They may move in suddenly, a staccato manner. Relaxed arms either hang loosely or move smoothly.
If arms cross one another, they hand loosely. Any crossing, of course can indicate some tension. Folding arms may just be comfortable.
When we are anxious, we often use our hands to touch ourselves, hold ourselves or otherwise show tension. Relaxed hands hang loose or are used to enhance what we are saying. They are generally open and may shape ideas in the air. Gestures are open and gentle, not sudden nor tense.
Legs when sitting may sit gently on the floor or may be casually flung out. They may move in time to music, with tapping toes. They may be crossed, but are not wound around one another.
Note that legs can be a particular sign of hidden tension when the person is controlling the upper body and arms. When they are sitting at a table, what you see may be relaxed, but the legs may be held tense and wrapped.
There are major signs of a relaxed person in their face.
The person may smile gently or broadly without any signs of grimacing. Otherwise the mouth is relatively still.
When talking, the mouth opens moderately, neither with small movements nor large movement. The voice sounds relaxed without unusually high pitch and without sudden changes in pitch or speed.
The eyes smile with the mouth, particularly in the little creases at the side of the eyes.
A relaxed gaze will look directly at another person without staring, and with little blinking. The eyes are generally dry.
Eyebrows are stable or may move with speech. They do not frown.
Other muscles in the face are generally relaxed The forehead is a major indicator and lines only appear in gentle expression. The sides of the face are not drawn back.
When the head moves, it is smoothly and in time with relaxed talk or other expression.
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