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6 rules for dieting
- If you eat something, and no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories.
- When drinking a diet soda while eating a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled by the diet soda.
- When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count as long as you don’t eat more than they do.
- Foods used for medicinal purposes never count.
- If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
- If you are in the process of preparing something, food licked off knives and spoons have no calories.