A Series of Unfortunate Events begins with a fire. The three Baudelaire childrenViolet, Klaus, and Sunnyare walking on Briny Beach one day when Mr. Poe, the family banker, finds them and tells them their mansion has burned to the ground and their parents are dead.
As if thats not enough, the Baudelaires are soon caught up in a harum-scarum web of villainy, intrigue, and bad hygiene that involves a secret organization, a woman named Beatrice, several incompetent guardians, two triplets, a plot to steal the Baudelaire fortune, pinstripe suits, and three mysterious consonants. Mr. Snicket will recommend screaming and running away. I recommend reading them as often as you can. But then, I am an Unfortunate.
This is a spoiler-free page, or at least it tries to be. The other pages may contain spoilers without warning, so watch out. Or go read the books first, whichever you prefer.
you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your
mouth, particularly if that thing is cats.
For various reasons, portions of this chapter have been changed or made
up entirely, including this sentence.