Fog City Diner: Buy the gear, not the food
Published 4:00 am, Thursday, July 2, 2009
At Fog City Diner, the branded restaurant gear takes up more space on the menu than the desserts do. There are seven desserts and a dozen "must have" clothing items and accessories, ranging from T-shirts ($19.95) and aprons ($21.99) to a dog dish ($4.50).
"Is this place really that popular that they can sell all that stuff?" a friend from the Midwest asked.
"Yes, when it opened in 1985," I explained. Fog City wildly mixed food cultures, served great wine and offered a groundbreaking diner-like setting.
The place still looks cool, what with its rich wood interior and shiny chrome facade, but the food seems tired. As I feared when looking at the merchandise, it's become a tourist trap, with all the stereotypes that implies.
The food might have survived the decades if it had been prepared with care, but there's little to recommend about unsalted, dry chicken schnitzel ($18.75); gummy smoked chicken and cheese quesadillas ($11.95) so yellow they looked to be infused with saffron; mu shu pork burritos ($8.88) that tasted mostly of sugary plum sauce; or fish tacos ($9.95) that smelled of iodine (thankfully, the sauce and cabbage gave them something to hide behind). Only the grilled Mongolian pork chop ($21.95) showed glimmers of the restaurant's past glory.
Frankly, I was embarrassed I'd taken friends there, but I didn't say much and they were perfect guests. "It's really a fun place," one said as we departed.
Since I hadn't eaten at Fog City for several years, I decided my recollections of the evening might have been overblown. I bucked up and returned with diminished expectations only to find that things weren't any better, and at times were worse.
On this second visit, the nightly special cauliflower and asiago soup ($7.70) should never have made it to the table. If anyone had tasted it beforehand, it would have been apparent that there was no flavor other than flour.
The three crab cakes ($12.95) were dry and tasted mostly of breading. They were the highlight of the meal. Pot roast ($18.50) reminded me of a precooked chunk of meat I picked up once at Trader Joe's for an emergency lunch. Even though the red wine sauce was good, it couldn't save the starchy underseasoned garlic mashed potatoes. The pan roasted halibut ($18.95) was more like a thin fillet of petrale sole, and the Meyer lemon vinaigrette only added a greasy haze to the plate.
Mile-high lemon meringue pie ($8.25) was as tall as the name implies, but the meringue was a sickly brown, the filling too sweet and the crust soggy.
Probably the best thing about the meal was that we were in and out in 50 minutes. At least it was efficient, and that was a blessing. The food at Fog City is certainly nothing to linger over. Next time I'll skip the crab cioppino and order a nifty pair of Fog City Diner boxers. They're both $19.95.
Fog City Diner
1300 Battery St. (at The Embarcadero), San Francisco
(415) 982-2000 or fogcitydiner.com
Lunch and dinner 11:30 a.m.-10 p.m. Monday-Thursday, until 11 p.m. Friday. Brunch, lunch and dinner 10:30 a.m.-11 p.m. Saturday; 10:30 a.m.-10 p.m. Sunday. Full bar. Reservations and credit cards accepted. Generally easy street parking at night.
|Overall||Rating: ONE STAR|
|Service||Rating: TWO STARS|
|Atmosphere||Rating: TWO AND A HALF STARS|
|Noise Rating||Noise Rating: FOUR BELLS|
FOUR STARS = Extraordinary; THREE STARS = Excellent; TWO STARS = Good; ONE STAR = Fair; NO STARS = Poor
$ = Inexpensive: entrees $10 and under; $$ = Moderate: $11-$17; $$$ = Expensive: $18-$24; $$$$ = Very Expensive: more than $25
ONE BELL = Pleasantly quiet (less than 65 decibels); TWO BELLS = Can talk easily (65-70); THREE BELLS = Talking normally gets difficult (70-75); FOUR BELLS = Can talk only in raised voices (75-80); BOMB = Too noisy for normal conversation (80+)
Prices are based on main courses. When entrees fall between these categories, the prices of appetizers help determine the dollar ratings. Chronicle critics make every attempt to remain anonymous. All meals are paid for by The Chronicle. Star ratings are based on a minimum of three visits. Ratings are updated continually based on at least one revisit.