And the King said, “What?” and the Queen
That is awfully cheap to the things I buy!
For that grocer of ours in the light brown hat
Asks two and eleven for pickles like that!”
But a Glug stood up with a wart on his nose,
And cried, “Your Majesties! Ogs is foes!”
But the Glugs cried, “Peace! Will you hold your jaw!
How did our grandpas fashion the law?”
Said the Knight, Sir Stodge, as he opened his Book,
“When the goods were cheap then the goods we took.”
So they fined the Glug with the wart on his nose
For wearing a wart with his everyday clothes.
And the goods were brought home thro’ a Glug named Ghones;
And the Ogs went home with their loads of stones,
Which they landed with glee in the land of Podge.
Do you notice the dodge?
Not yet did the Glugs, nor the Knight, Sir Stodge.
In the following Summer the Ogs came back
With a cargo of eight-day clocks,
And hand-painted screens, and sewing machines,
And mangles, and scissors, and socks.
And they said, “For these excellent things we bring
We are ready to take more stones;
And in bricks or road-metal
For goods you will settle
Indented by your Mister Ghones.”
Cried the Glugs praisingly,
“Why how amazingly
Smart of industrious Ghones!”
And the King said, “Hum,” and the Queen
That curtain! What a bee-ootiful blue!”
But a Glug stood up with some very large ears,
And said, “There is more in this thing than appears!
And we ought to be taxing those goods of the Ogs,
Or our industries soon will be gone to the dogs.”
And the King said, “Bosh! You’re un-Gluggish and rude!”
And the Queen said, “What an absurd attitude!”
Then the Glugs cried, “Down with political quacks!
How did our grandpas look at a tax?”
So the Knight, Sir Stodge, he opened his Book.
“No tax,” said he, “wherever I look.”
Then they fined the Glug with the prominent ears
For being old-fashioned by several years;
And the Ogs went home with the stones, full-steam.
Did you notice the scheme?
Nor yet did the Glugs in their dreamiest dreams.
Then every month to the land of the Gosh
The Ogs, they continued to come,
With buttons and hooks, and medical books,
And rotary engines, and rum,
Large cases with labels, occasional tables,
Hair tonic and fiddles and ’phones;
And the Glugs, while copncealing their joy in the dealing,
Paid promptly in nothing but stones.
Why, it was screamingly
Asking for nothing but stones!