To forcefully go fuck yourself against your own will.
Holy shit, Marston! Why must you engage in acts of molesterbation?
To order or otherwise instruct an individual or group to engage in acts of masturbation, often giving them the freedom to decide upon the appropriate location to perform said acts (i.e. Living Room, Restroom, Wendy's, or a random corn field). It is often necessary to carry a stuffed llama under one's left arm in order for the target audience to understand the gravity of the situation.
Also known as: "Go Fuck Yourself: The King James Version"
Jackson: Marston, is that a sleeping bag up there on the roof of Castaway's?
Marston: Yes, Mr. Jackson, it is.
Jackson: Are you gonna get up in there?
Marston: Yes, Mr. Jackson. And I feel that perhaps I may vomit.
Jackson: Fucketh thine self!
Marston: Done. Carry on.
1. A completely and totally unnecessary expletive with no real meaning.
2. The act of engaging in sexual congress with a man/woman named Sampson.
Let's get the sampsonfuck outta here!
Mary-Beth: I fucked John last night.
Jacqueline: Isn't his last name Sampson?
Jacqueline: Wow! Was that your first Sampsonfuck?
Jacqueline: You must be very proud.