No, that ad campaign doesn’t really work, does it?
Neither does “Pompeii,” unfortunately, an epic without stars that staggers along as a bad version of “Spartacus” (the cable show, not even the movie) before turning into a video game version of a disaster movie, with tiny running figures and big fiery projectiles.
You might think a volcanic eruption that destroyed a thriving city of about 20,000 would be enough to hold the camera’s attention. But lava isn’t enough for “Pompeii.” We have to have earthquakes, tidal waves and a collision of ’70s bad-movie cliches so massive and shameless all that’s missing is Charlton Heston as a brave centurion, or Richard Chamberlain as an evil Roman architect.
Who: With Kit Harington, Emily Browning. Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson.
Rated: PG-13 for intense battle sequences, disaster-related action and brief sexual content.
Running time: 105 minutes.
When: Opens Friday.
Where: Area theaters.
Instead, we get Kit Harington from “Game of Thrones,” who looks like Eric Bana’s much duller kid brother, and Emily Browning who doesn’t look like much of anything except someone who has trouble keeping her toga modestly arranged.
Neither young star gives this dusty relic any life at all, and the surrounding players are definitely low on star power. (Jared Harris and Carrie-Anne Moss play the mild maiden’s parents; Kiefer Sutherland is the sibilant, and hissable Roman villain.)
“Pompeii” is a spectacle all right – but mostly just of a lot of people, some of whom should know better, making an utter ash of themselves.
Stephen Whitty, Newark Star-Ledger