The idea that women have greater sexual strength than men always seemed very much in line with my own experience, but it’s very difficult for some men to accept this premise. Whenever I bring up this point in my workshops, invariably several men will vigorously challenge me. Of course, I understand why this is so. It is the nature of men with their strong male egos to want to be recognized as the stronger of the species and intelligent women generally recognize this manly trait, and wisely make no issue of it.
As men, we see ourselves as bigger, stronger and physically superior to women. However, physical dominance is hardly the proper criteria for evaluating sexual strength. Sexual strength, as I use the term, is the ability to generate and contain sexual excitement and ecstatic pleasure without terminating the orgasmic flow, and without losing vital life-force energy. It is properly measured by how successfully an individual manages his or her sexual energy. Ask yourself: After lovemaking, are you energetically engorged or sexually depleted? Are you happy, enlivened, and sexually fulfilled? Are you feeling emotionally connected to your partner, and all of creation? Or, are you sleepy, melancholy, let down, dull, feeling separate and emotionally withdrawn?
Sorry guys, but sexual strength is an area where women possess a clear advantage. A woman can sexually receive a man (or many men) for as long as she pleases. If she is properly aroused, a woman’s sexual appetite can be nearly inexhaustible. In the sexual arena, women have two clear biological advantages over men. First, they don’t have to attain and maintain an erection to have sex. Second, and more to the point, unlike men, women generally do not lose energy through sex.
In Erica Jong’s popular book, “Fear of Flying,” she alludes to the enormous sexual strength of women:
"The female has a wonderful all-weather cunt. Neither storm nor sleet nor dark of night could faze it. It was always there, always ready. Quite terrifying, when you think about it. No wonder men hated women. No wonder they invented the myth of female inadequacy."
At heart, many men are as terrified of women’s infinite sexual capacity as they are fascinated by it. Unfortunately, the general effect on men is to make them feel sexually insecure so they often attempt to compensate with some other strength. Could sexual insecurity be the primary reason that men have sought physical, political, financial, intellectual and religious advantage over women? Could that be why they created the myth of female inadequacy?
The good news for men is that gender equality, at least on the level of sexual performance, can be attained in spite of a woman’s innate sexual advantages. Men merely have to learn to orgasm without ejaculating. It takes a bit of training, but by doing so, male and female energies are correctly balanced and one tends to transform the other. Once this skill is mastered, the system can stay up and running indefinitely, and most male ejaculations become entirely superfluous.