American elephants are far more aggressive than their African and Asian relatives. They spend their days eating donkeys. In 2000 the American elephants ate many Floridian donkeys. Unlike other elephants, American elephants have red, white, and blue skin. And their ears look like George Washington's face.
The American elephants population is estimated at several million most living in the South and in Washington's Mexico. It is believed that once they have eaten all the available donkeys they will migrate into Canada and start dining on duck. If and when this happens, their skin will lose the blue colour, and will be coated in a layer of fake maple syrup from china. Which will lead to brain AIDS. Also, their ears will resemble Wayne Gretzky's face, and they'll take up playing hockey.
American elephants are the only animal visible from orbit.
They have the largest testicles of any animal. The scrotum is pulled out between the hind legs and draped over their back like a saddle while being ridden into great bear hunts.
In an interview with Colorado Congresswoman Diana DeGette, Stephen asked her to protect American elephants with a bill known as the Saving Territory Establishing Pachyderm Habitats and Elephant Natural Conservation Opportunites Labeling Boundaries Ensuring Rapid Transit or S.T.E.P.H.E.N. C.O.L.B.E.R.T. Act.