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My previous tweet was made possible by the glorious invention that is maternity jeans.
I want a maternity shirt that says “I hate your negative shit.” and I’ll just point to it when people tell me how awful parenthood is.
If picking the absolute slowest target line was a marketable skill I would be in high demand.
If your first response to someone becoming a parent is “You’ll never sleep again!” you might be a dick. (Do they think we’re unaware?)
I’m “I can’t eat anything spicy anymore because my throat is a river of fire” weeks pregnant.
If you eat an orange tootsie roll and a vanilla one at the same time it tastes like a dreamsicle. You’re welcome, twitter.
Rest assured general public, no pregnant woman wants to hear that her belly is big.
In the world of pot roast the Dutch oven wins over the crockpot every time.
I got to hear our baby’s heartbeat again today and it was just as magical as the first time. 💕
Ginger. Beloved of God. Wife to a bearded wonder. Paleo-ish. Hippie at heart. Crafty as shit.