Kids Halloween Jokes
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Halloween party?
A: Because he had no-body to go with!
Q: Q. What does a panda ghost eat?
Q: What do you do when you see a ghost?
A: Run away of course!
Q: What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A: A cockatoo!
Q: Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A: Because he found out he had only one pupil!
Q: What does a ghost keep in its stable?
Q: What kind of streets do ugly zombies live on?
Q: What happens when a ghost haunts a theatre?
A: The actors get stage fright!
Q: What do skeletons say at the front door?
A: Crick or creak!
Q: Why don’t you eat ghosts?
A: They’ll go right through you!
Q: What’s a vampire’s favourite part of the guitar?
A: The neck!
Q: What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Q: What Halloween monster has 24 legs, 12 arms and 6 heads?
A: A liar!
Q: What is a mummy’s favourite type of music?
A: White Rapper music!
Q: Where do famous movie stars go on Halloween?
Q: What do you call a skeleton that lies around in its grave all the time?
A: Lazy bones!
Q: What key opens a Haunted House?
A: A spooKEY!
Q: What is the problem with two twin witches?
A: You never know which witch is which!
Q: Who won the zombie war?
A: Nobody, it was dead even!
Q: What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?
A: A wide scream TV!
Q: What do you call candy corn?
A: Pumpkin poop!
Q: Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A: Because he wanted to get some muscles!
Q: What monster wears the most clothes?
A: A well dressed werewolf!
Q: Why was the little skeleton crying?
A: Because he wanted to be wrapped up like his mummy!
Q: Where does a vampire keep his money?
A: In a blood bank!
Q: Why don’t skeletons play music in a church?
A: They have no organs!
Q: What do you call a mummy eating her Halloween cookies in bed?
A: A crummy mummy!
Q: What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
Q: What do you call a nervous green witch?
A: A twitch!
Q: What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1999 hide-and-go-seek champion!
Q: What kind of person does a mummy take on a date?
A: Any old girl he can dig up!
Q: Why was the big hairy, two-headed monster top of the class in collage?
A: Because two heads are better than one!
Q: What games do bats like to play on Halloween?
A: Anything with a ball!
Q: What time is it when you see costumes, a house, candy and hear trick-or-treat?
Q: What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A: A Hallo-weenie!
Q: What did the little ghost say to his mom?
A: I’ve done a little boo boo!
Q: How do ghosts like their chicken?
Q: How was Frankenstien’s birth?
Q: What is a skeleton’s favourite drink?
A: Milk, it’s white and good for your bones!
Q: What do you call a vampire 666 miles from a blood bank?
A: A cab!
Q: What do you get when you cross a ghost and a zombie?
A: I don’t know, but it doesn’t sound good to me!
Q: Where did the pirate ghost live?
A: The BOO-hamas!
Q: What did the skeleton order with his drink?
A: A mop!
Q: What is Dracula’s favourite fruit?
A: A nectarine!
Q: What happened when the young witch misbehaved?
A: She was sent to her room with her broom!
Q: Why wasn’t there any food left after the monster Halloween party?
A: Because all the kids were a goblin!
Q: What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A: Spook when you’re spooken too!
Q: What do you call a witch who likes the beach but is scared of the water?
A: A chicken sand witch!
Q: How do phantoms travel?
A: Ghost to ghost!
Q: What did the witch say when she fell in the old castle moat?
A: My god! me eels are killing me!
Q: Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A: Because there was a dog on the other side!
Q: What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A: I scream!
Q: What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
A: A flying Band-Aid!
Q: What did the werewolf eat after he’d had his teeth cleaned?
A: The dentist!
Q: When do vampires like horse racing?
A: When it’s neck and neck!
Q: What song do vampires hate?
A: You are my sunshine!
Q: Why doesn’t a witch wear a flat hat?
A: Because there’s no point in it!
Q: What do you read on Halloween?
Q: How do you make a skeleton laugh?
A: Tickle its funny bone!
Q: What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A: Sherlock Bones!
Q: What is a ghost’s favourite ride?
A: A roller-ghoster1
Q: Why don’t mummies take vacations?
A: They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind1
Q: What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A: Watch the board and I’ll go through it again!
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to the dance?
A: Because he had no body to go with!
Q: What school subject is a witch good at?
Q: Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A: A scare centre!
Q: What kind of mail does a superstar vampire get?
A: Fang mail!
Q: Why didn’t Dracula have any friends?
A: He was a pain in the neck!
Q: What does a bird say when its Halloween?
A: He tweets a couple of #halloweenjokes!