Pull back the curtain on a critical, judgmental person and you’ll usually find this…
Everybody knows a few of them — arrogant people who think they’re always right about things and everyone else is wrong. To these people, nothing anyone else does is ever “right” or good enough.
But what’s usually behind the actions of the know-it-all, the finger-pointer, the high-horse rider, the snob, the holier-than-thou, the constant critic? Usually, the same thing…
Lack of empathy.
If you’re dealing with someone who just can’t see the possible value or meaning in your point of view, then you’re dealing with someone who cannot empathize well. People who cannot empathize cannot take on an alternate position and view things from another’s vantage point, and take on the perceptions and feelings that a person in that alternate position would have. If they could, they’d easily be able to see the reasons why their point of view is not the only valid one and stop claiming that everyone else is just “wrong”. People with low or no empathy also have a difficult time understanding or caring about the fact that insisting your thinking is wrong and valueless will hurt your feelings.
Many things affect a person’s ability to empathize or express empathy. Mental disorders and brain differences are the most likely culprit. Among the most vigorous criticizers and judgers are people with traits of the following personality disorders:
Narcissistic Personality Disorder – a mental disorder that is partially defined by a lack of empathy for others. Narcissists can be arrogant, insensitive, critical, self-centered and don’t like being questioned.
Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder – a mental disorder that makes its sufferers rigid, critical, fault-finding and demanding. Not surprisingly, the current considerations for the revised version of this disorder’s characteristics include difficulty empathizing.
Antisocial Personality Disorder – another mental disorder partly characterized by insufficient empathy. Sociopaths can be cold, callous, sneaky, aggressive, conniving, and even dangerous.
More about these disorders and others can be found at Light’s House, using the above links and the purple and green buttons on the righthand sidebar of this blog.
Join us Monday — we’ll be talking about the number one myth about narcissists. Can you guess what it is?