Throughout history great men have pondered the great secrets and mysteries of life. "Where did I come from?" of course has been on top of the philosophical to-do-list for thousands of years. Luckily as Pastafarians we have the answers to such questions. These questions are unanswered for many and would surely cause an unenlightened person to tremble and undoubtedly lose control of their bowels. Pastafarians know that the FSM put us on this earth to spread his saucy goodness. So our minds tend to wander to the second most important question that one can ask themselves.
If Pirates Fought Ninjas Who Would Win?
Many of the world's great thinkers have pondered this eternal and quite mind boggling question. Plato spend three years writing an epic and concise dialogue on the matter entitled "The Cove" however unable to finish it he got really drunk and slipped while stumbling home hitting his head on a rock. When he awakwened he had lost quite a few brain cells and no longer able to comprehend the expansiveness of "The Cove" he changed it to "The Cave" and wrote some rubbish about messianic complexes and fear of change; pretty useless stuff.
RenÃ© Descartes once commented on the matter in a very profound manner saying "Cogito ergo Pirata" (I think therefore I am a pirate) this was edited and made more acceptable to the public for his published works.
Most recently this dilema has been expressed in the equation
)-1 = 2nT/n
The bare fact is that pirates are the obvious victors in any cross-genre scuffle with ninjas.
Part One- Sri Lankan port cities at dusk or dawn
FACT #1: Such a fight would be rare
Pirates are generally seafaring or found on sandy coasts and beaches. Ninja's on the other (probably fingerless-gloved) hand ninjas are found on land, attacking dojo's and corrupt warlords. Additionally pirates are generally daiurnal where ninjas tend to work at night. Therefore we can assume that such a battle would occur at either dusk or dawn somewhere where ocean meets land like a beach or a port city.
FACT #2: Ninjas have limited territories
Whereas pirates have been documented o have existed across the planet from the carribean to Ireland to the Indian Ocean whereas ninjas tend not to leave their Asian home. Therefore the battle would take place at dusk or dawn at a port city somewhere pirates and ninjas might cross paths, a good inbetween point might be Sri Lanka
At this localle the fight may be a toss up. Pirates are slightly more likely to win given the sheer number of pirates on a ship, their swah buckling ability and use of gunpowder weapons traditionally shunned by ninjas.
Part Two- Factual Facts
FACT #3: The planet earth is 75% ocean
Therefore a random battle is most likely to occur on the seas where pirates would undoubtedly win even if the ninjas even had their own super fast (probably black*) ninja boat the pirates would simply blow the thing out of the water or attack by turtle and take them by surprise.
Thereby we realize that pirates are then victors in at least 63% of all battles with ninjas
Ninjas have this weird obbsession with wearing black which we can use to infer that ninjas were the emos of history