Six Ways Alcohol May Be Good For You
#1.) ALOCHOL CAN HELP YOU LOSE WEIGHT. In a study of 37,000 people, the ones who had a few drinks a week were thinner than people who didn't drink at all. Not surprisingly, BINGE drinkers were the chubbiest.
#2.) ALCOHOL IS AN ANTIDOTE. The ingredient in antifreeze that makes it work is called ethylene glycol (--pronounced eth-a-leen GLY-call. And it's EXTREMELY poisonous.
If you drink it, symptoms include vomiting, diarrhea, paranoia, dementia, and hallucinations. And eventually, it forms little, needle-shaped crystals inside your body that shred your kidneys and kill you.
But if you call Poison Control, they'll tell you to drink a few shots of vodka, THEN go to the hospital. Here's why: Your body digests ethanol quickly, and vodka is basically just ethanol and water. So if you drink enough vodka, you should be able to pass the ethylene glycol in your urine before it crystallizes and kills you. The method is so reliable, it's used in hospitals all over the world.
#3.) ALCOHOL IMPROVES YOUR LIBIDO. But only if you drink a little. Studies have shown that men who drink in moderation are 20 to 30 percent less likely to have problems with erectile dysfunction.
#4.) ALCOHOL MAKES YOU SMARTER. In a study that was published in the "British Medical Journal," people who had 30 drinks per week performed better on logic and reasoning tests than people who drank very little or didn't drink at all.And they even scored better on short-term MEMORY tests.
#5.) ALCOHOL HELPS IF YOU TAKE A SHOT TO THE HEAD. Researchers studied almost 40,000 cases of people with head injuries. And patients had less swelling in their brains if they were DRUNK when the injury occurred.
The reason alcohol keeps your brain from swelling is because it's an anti-inflammatory, like ibuprofen.
#6.) ALCOHOL CAN SAVE YOUR LIFE. When you fall down, your body usually tenses up and braces for impact.But when you're drunk, your central nervous system is basically numb, so your body stays relaxed, and not as much of the force is transferred to your bones and vital organs.
Here's an example, but don't try this at home: A Russian guy drank THREE BOTTLES OF VODKA, then jumped out of his kitchen window. He fell FIVE STORIES, then he got up, walked upstairs, and jumped AGAIN. And he survived with just a few cuts and bruises.
SO DRINK UP HUMANS!