There is and has been a swirling cloud of controversy surrounding whether or not parents should reward their children for earning good grades in school.
To me, it is normal and natural for a parent to want their child to do well – in school and in life. I believe that smart parents find ways to reward behavior they want to encourage. The carrot is better than the stick, in old fashioned terminology!
My parents rewarded by brother and I for good grades. They paid for good grades, we paid for bad ones. I remember getting a quarter for every E (excellent work) and although I never had to pay it, there was a penalty for any grade below average. We rewarded our sons for good grades – through high school. My brother and I excelled in school, as did both of our sons.
That said, it wasn’t the money that caused us to get good grades, it was the parental focus, support and involvement in our academic life and their recognition of our academic achievements that led to our academic success. Monetary rewards for grades were just one aspect of that support, involvement and recognition.
According to a survey conducted by the American Institute of CPAS and published on their site in August 2012:
“Nearly half of parents with kids in school, or 48 percent, also pay their kids for good grades. The average rate for an A: $16.60.”
Which means, that more than half do not pay for grades, but it is a small margin, so the debate is on!
The Pros and Cons of Paying for Grades
First The Cons
Parents who object to paying for grades feel that their students are expected to study hard and shouldn’t have to be motivated by money to do so. They relate it to paying for demonstrating courtesy.
Parents who object to paying for grades feel it is ineffective, paying for the final outcome isn’t helpful when the process involved to get there isn’t rewarded. In fact, some studies, done long ago and outside the family environment show that rewards (of any kind) for work done may actually hurt intrinsic motivation.
Parents who object to paying for grades consider it bribery, and bribery, at least according to Beth Kobliner of the Huffington Post in “Should You Pay for an ‘A’? How to Motivate Your Child — Part 1” is bad. She says:
“Offering some unrelated incentive–an iPhone for an A- in honors math or a pair of Beats headphones to boost a grade to a B+ from a C in Algebra 1–is artificial, at best.
After all, isn’t the point to get your kids to work hard for the satisfaction of a job well done? Isn’t a good grade, and all that goes along with it, a reward in and of itself?
At worst, bribery is downright dangerous. (Will it lead to your kid expecting to be paid to get out of bed, do his homework, study for the SATs?)”
If extended beyond the family, as it is being done in some areas, it can lead to conflict for the teacher. In Houston, TX a privately funded effort is paying both the student and their family when the student improves their grades. The NEA article claims:
“Many teachers also say paying students for grades leads to practical problems in their classrooms, including pressure to inflate grades and conflict with students and parents.”
In other words, parents yell at the teachers if the teacher doesn’t give a good grade!
Now The Pros
Parents who pay for grades believe that if used as part of a fully supportive in-family system with the right expectations and intermediate recognition of successes, it works. It worked for us. Would we have gotten good grades without the pay? Probably – because it was part and parcel of a bigger system, but it was a nice little incentive and acknowledgment of our effort.
Parents who pay for grades believe that it reinforces parental priorities. Lets face it, parents are responsible for raising kids and every day in every way they use positive and negative rewards to do so. Paying for good grades merely reinforces parental expectations of good behavior.
Parents who pay for grades believe it can provide incentive. Per Reuters article As school starts, parents pay up for grades:
“I don’t see anything wrong with paying for performance,” says Clare Levison, a certified public accountant in Blacksburg, Virginia, and a member of the National CPA Financial Literacy Commission. “It’s gone on for a long time in corporate America. I think it can be an effective incentive, as long as you’re using it as a teachable moment to tell them about budgeting and saving.”
Parents who pay for grades feel it helps prepare their child for performance based job rewards. How many of those parents who won’t pay their kids for good grades, get merit increases from their company in their salary each year? How many CEOs get bonus or stock rewards for increasing company bottom line financials? It is part of life.
Parents who pay for grades feel it is one way to help teach their child money management. Kids need to have available money of their own, so they can make their own mistakes, so parents and kids can have discussions and practice sessions on spending, saving and giving. Providing financial rewards for good grades is one method of getting some money into a child’s hands so they can start learning these things.
There is no doubt in my mind that rewarding achievement of good grades is an acceptable parental behavior.
There is no doubt in my mind that parents who pay their kids for good behavior of any kind WITHOUT parental involvement, support and encouragement along the way, will not accomplish their goal. I also do not believe that pay for grade programs administered outside the family will succeed, because they will lack that system of parental involvement, support and encouragement.
BUT, paying for grades within a full system of expectations, ongoing support, encouragement and recognition can provide added incentive for success.
Where do you stand on the pay for grades debate?