In my culture, saying ’thank you’ is as important as it is in the US. But there is one difference: it seems that in the US it is very important to always send a written thank you note, including from (young) children. When I grew up, grandma/grandpa/anyone would always be thanked for presents; sometimes in person when we met (and it would be sufficient to thank them at the party in question, if there was one + next time I’d meet them), sometimes I’d call them and sometimes I’d meet them before having had an opportunity to call them. And sometimes I'd write a letter (but never just a thank you note; a thank you note only might even have looked like 'I don't want to spend more time on you'). There was never a requirement for a written thank you note, just a ’thank you’, preferably expressed twice (once on receipt, once commenting on the use of it, having had a chance to use it).
I’d be interested in hearing people’s views on why you think it is so important with written notes. I guess to me, I’d much prefer my godson to call me to thank me for something, so that we can actually have a conversation, rather than getting a perfunctory written thank you note. Thank you notes do not have to be perfunctory of course, but from reading some threads I sometimes get the impression that the pressure is strong on children to write thank you notes immediately (I think I even read somewhere that the child in question would not be allowed to play with the gift until the thank you note was written) that there is a risk that the cards wouldn’t receive as much attention as perhaps desirable.
The only times written thank yous are normally prescribed where I’m from I’d say are at life celebrations/events such as christenings, confirmations, weddings, big birthdays or similar where it is difficult to have time to thank everyone individually (or even open the presents when the giver is present).
(And looking at the bigger picture, I’d prefer less resources to be used, so for that reason I think it’s a good idea to use verbal thank yous instead of using resources and money on a card.)
So what do you think – are written thank yous really important where you are from, and why?