You'd have to feel sorry for Myleene Klass this morning: the Daily Mail has decided to launch a war on her body shape, but can't even decide what's wrong with it.
At first, it snickers because Marks and Spencer have airbrushed out some "lovehandles" from her Bikini photo shoot - although it tries to make it sound like the paper is disappointed at the treatment:
Having printed pictures of her with these offensive handles and had a bit of a chuckle at them, the paper then decides she's also too thin:
Myleene's ultra-slim appearance prompted onlookers to wonder where her famous curves had disappeared to.
But her shrinking frame is likely to disappoint admirers - including fiancé Graham 'Gray' Quinn - who have celebrated her shapely physique.
There is, presumably, a magical weight where Myleene could satisfy the Mail's demands. Or, possibly, someone who could decide if they're outraged by the airbrushing, or by the presence of "lovehandles".