If you lose a lid to your relish jar, look behind the hot dog buns!
If your chocolate milk mix won't mix well, maybe it's cause you're using Hershey coco powder and not Nesquick chocolate milk mix.
If you don't know what direction you're going in or where you are, ask a hobo.
If you're afraid of spiders don't go to the pet shop.
If you see a worm that hisses at you, it is probably a snake.
When turning left or right, use your blinker.
If the turkey is still pink, you haven't cooked it yet.
If you crack an egg into your frying pan and a chick comes out, your chicken is sitting on the wrong egg.
If someone asks you if you have any gas, don't tell them, ' Yes, all the time.', cause then they might run away.
Before sliding down a waterslide, make sure you have a clear pathway if not yell, ' MOVE IT OR LOSE PAL!'
If you're turning 50 this Christmas, then NO you are not older than Jesus.
Why can't a man living in the East be buried in the West?
You know you have lost your mind when you finally find it later.
If you're talking and noboy replies, it's cause you're standing in the corner.
You'll shoot your eye out kid!
Don't stand in the middle of a paintball war, you're going to get hit.
Shang Hai, Hong Kong, Egg Fu Yung! Fortune cookie always wrong.
If you are wondering why you can't smell your candle, it's probably cause you forgot to light it.
If you forget your childs name, give it a new name.
If you are wondering why you can't find your cat Fluffy, then you may want to ask why there is a pile of dirt in the backyard.
Hope these help!