Every couple has arguments, but what happens when recurring battles begin to feel like full-scale war? Do you retreat in hurt and angry silence, hoping that a spouse who "just doesn't get it" will eventually see things your way? Urge your partner to face up to his or her shortcomings? Demand some immediate changes or else?
This practical guide offers new solutions for couples frustrated by continual attempts to make each other change. In their decades of clinical practice and research in the field of couple therapy, Dr. Andrew Christensen and Dr. Neil Jacobson developed a therapeutic approach for couples based on one simple truth: no matter how much two people love each other, their differences will eventually cause conflict. But this reality does not have to get in the way of healthy, happy, and long-lasting romance. In fact, learning to accept your differences in an atmosphere of empathy and understanding not only can help you recover from arguments more quickly , and it also can lead to greater intimacy in your relationship.
Filled with thought-provoking exercises and real-life examples, the book is designed to help you understand the conflicts you have with your partner, learn why you may have the same fights again and again, and keep small incompatibilities from causing big problems. The authors dissect typical relationship conflicts, illuminating why one person's well-meaning comment may seem to the other like a criticism or an attack. Gaining insight into your own "hot buttons" for hurt feelings and pain, as well as your partner's, you will learn to acknowledge each other's emotional vulnerabilities and innate personality differences. Most important, the book describes concrete steps you can take to achieve active acceptance of each other's feelings and actions. In the process, each of you may find yourself more open to making the kinds of changes the other was asking for all along.
Based on Drs. Christensen and Jacobson's groundbreaking and tested therapeutic approach, Reconcilable Differences shows how acceptance can bring lasting peace to couples' wars. Discover how you and your partner can traverse the difficult path from conflict to closeness, from enmity to intimacy.
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