A log cabin Republican, a Jew, a stoner, a bitch, a cunt, a scallywag, a ninja, a turtle, a lawnmower man, a Trisha, a Norman, a lipstick lesbian, a social outcast, a person that knows how to skank, a junky, a sniper, a lowbrow, a bookworm, a sure thing, a next top model, a gay guy who thinks he's straight, a long jumper, a colorman, a baron, a saint, a woman that smells like lemon grass, an honest man, a teamster, a lawyer, someone with three toes, someone with a wooden leg, a cum dumpster, an oil tycoon, a hopeless romantic, a sycophant, a fuck buddy, a spokesman, an elder, a wiseman, someone that when they hear they hear only silence but they're not deaf, a priest in a nun costume, someone that can recite pi to 100 digits then in reverse. I want to be buried in concrete and sleep with the fishes.
(1) Korg GT-3 guitar tuner (black)
(1) Take-out menu (Pizza Luce)
(233) Cents, in various currency
(1) Electric razor (Conair, silver and black)
(1) Campaign button (Paul Wellstone, green)
(1) Cellular telephone (Samsung, silver)
(7) Guitar picks of various weights, shapes and colors
(1) Rope for use in case of emergency (fire, terrorist attack, etc.)
(7) Dirty socks
(346) Other things not worth mentioning at the moment
Remember when you asked me last night if I thought you were weird? I said no, of course not, why would you think that? And you looked relieved and said good.
Well that was a lie. I wouldn't like you if you weren't a little strange. And I wouldn't love you if you weren't a tad bit insane.
Say what you will about heroin, but there is no greater gratification than finding $5 at the bottom of your shoe.
How did it get there? And for what purpose?
You had the dream again last night. The one where all your teeth fall out. You rolled them around in your mouth like marbles.
She was there too; the girl who you know shouldn't be there. She was laughing with you, not at you, and she wanted your teeth.
What do these teeth mean, you wonder. Why is this girl who you know shouldn't be there here, you wonder. And why did she want your teeth; and why didn't you give them to her?
Okay, this is a new category dedicated to the documentation of the various fucked up and strange glitches I find every day in the matrix in which we all live. Maybe I will find a pattern.
Todays glitch: watching a ten second clip of Cheers at 3am, Norm was falling off of his bar stool for comic value. He did this twice. I quickly changed the channel to an All In The Family rerun, only to find another similarly fat man--not Archie-- falling off of his chair right at this exact moment. A man looking strinkingly similar.
No pattern so far.