For years doctors have advised patients to take a spoonful of this or a spoonful of that to cure, or prevent illness. Like shooting stars the new cures have appeared on the medical scene, a burst of glory only to be followed by a slow fade into the archives of quakery. From garlic to peppermint, cayenne to cinnamon, each has had it's day only to be shot down by further research.Now scienctists have discovered why.
"It's the spoon, not the contents!", declared Doctor Vincent Van Nordstrom of the Swedish Cutlery Institute.
"We were puzzled as to why these cures seemed to work some of the time and not others.In Their studies using double blind protocols the researchers screened over ten thousand patients with ailments ranging from Arthritis to Zenophobia(a fear of suncream),utilizing various homeopathic remedies. "We poured over our research time and again looking for some variable that might have skewed our findings in any conceivable way. Then it struck us. The one constant in all these cures was the spoon!"
"We were so blind for so long! Tablespoon, teaspoon,Cod liver oil,bacon grease or whatever else you choose to put on it, it doesn't matter!", Doctor Van Nordstrom explained, "The simple act of sticking a spoon in your mouth at least once a day is the best cure available for whatever ails you."