Seattle, Washington - Clifford Fillmore, tired of the shower room tauntings, decided to take matters into his own hands, literally. During group shower time in front of a bunch of horrified inmates, he sliced off his own penis. Paramedics where called to stop the bleeding, but they were never able to find the penis.
"He was done shaving his legs just like always, when he took the shaver to his dick," one inmate reported. "He had this sick smile on his face the whole time, like he was really enjoying it"
Later that day while on the mend, Clifford went back to work at his kitchen assignment making salads. The following week, when inmates asked him what the hell he did with his penis, he revealed that he had cut it up and put it in their tuna salad.
"Don't worry," he said. "It was still fresh."
Inmates reportedly started throwing up all over the place.
"It was a regular puke fest," one officer reported. "Come to think of it... I ate some of that salad! I'm gonna to kill that little bitch!"
Clifford had only one thing to say… "Paybacks are a bitch and so… am… I…"
(I have only one question. If a prison inmate cuts off his penis… Does that change his standing in the penal community?)