It’s worst at night, in the gray space between waking and sleeping. There, Derek remembers how it felt to be strong, to flex his fingers and feel power at the palm of his hands. The shift hums beneath his skin, familiar but beyond his reach, and the ache of loss tugs on other memories.
He’s all but human now. Peter is the only true Hale left.
When he’s awake, his body is a curiosity to him, something to be relearned, to craft into a new kind of weapon. When he sleeps, he’s right again, and his dreams are peaceful. But in the gray he’s restless; in the gray he longs for what he cannot have.
In the gray, she touches him, and his heart skips a beat.
Braeden’s hands are callused from the weapons she handles, but they’re gentle as they glide over his body. She moves over him, leans to kiss his neck, his jaw, his mouth, and he shivers at the touch of her tongue, at the roll of her hips against his. “We’ll get it all back,” she murmurs, sitting up to touch his face, and she isn’t afraid of him, as man or wolf, and he fills his hands with her breasts, smiles as she sighs and pushes into his touch. He skims a hand over her belly, slides his fingers between them, finds her wet, and she gasps as he circles her clit. She leans in to kiss him again, hips rocking against his fingers, and he’s hard, sliding against the cleft of her ass, and he loves this, this uncomplicated heat between them, this understanding of body and mind.
When she takes him in her hand and guides him inside her he closes his eyes, grits his teeth against the warm, slick pull of her body, blows out a breath before he looks at her again, at the pleased smiled on her face. And then she moves, and he moves with her, thrusting up as she rocks down, and he can’t help the noises he makes, settling his hands against her hips.
Braden comes first, beautiful as she shakes against him, and he follows moments after, whiting out as he says her name. When she cups his jaw he opens his eyes, reaches for her and tangles his hands in her hair, kisses her with a reverence that seems new to her, if the way she trembles is any tell.
He uses the bathroom first, crawls back into bed as she leaves to do the same. But she comes right back, slides between the sheets and curls into his body, lets him wrap his arms around her and hold her close.
Derek slips through the gray, this time, falls asleep in moments. And in his dreams he’s human, and the world is bright.