People who speak English as a second language may make for the most star-crossed secret admirers Valentine's Day has to offer. Poor Christoph Waltz and his stilted, idiom-drained English! All he wants to do is own his beloved, take her deep into the woods, and sleep with her there for 100 years. If it's in God's plan, of course. Somehow it just doesn't sound quite like the romantic woodland picnic it would sound like in German.