We're with our kids every day.
We wake them up, feed them breakfast, send them off to school, help with homework, give them dinner and put them to bed every day. We know them and they know us - but have we really bonded with them?
Being your child's friend doesn't mean you have to shirk discipline and allow them to do whatever they want to do. As your child's first friend, they crave attention from you and want to share the things they enjoy. In you, they have the person who knows them best. This makes them feel safe enough to be wrong about something - it allows them the right to be imperfect. This friendship will grow over the years and blossom into a close relationship with a bond that is secure.
Bonding with your kids takes effort, but not necessarily more time. Here are five ways to bond with your children using activities you probably already do:
Children love to cook! Finding out what happens if you stir ingredients together is part of their investigative nature. Making something for their family to eat fills kids with a sense of pride, not only because they made something yummy, but because they helped. Give them age-appropriate tasks to do and talk about what you're doing while you are all in the kitchen. It'll be a little messy, but that's part of the fun.
Want to help your little one recognize colors? Does your preschooler need to work on identifying numbers? Accomplish both by playing a game together. Many of the games on the market for children under 6 emphasize number, color and letter recognition and can be used as teaching tools while you are playing. They'll never know they were learning their colors while playing Uno - they'll only know they were having fun!
If you have five minutes, you can do this. The memories you'll make for you and the children alike will be priceless. Put on a family favorite song or, if you don't have one, just put on the radio. Then get up and dance with them. Let it all go. Swing your hair, break out some air guitar, show some old school moves. Make them laugh and know they are laughing AT you, embarrass them - they'll cherish it forever.
READING KICKED UP A NOTCH
Reading to your child is very important for their developmental skills. It helps with reading comprehension, deductive reasoning, identifying context clues and a host of other aspects of learning. Here's a way to liven it up every once in a while. Read a story that gets them moving. Have them act out the story, doing the actions and making the sounds that the book calls for. You won't be able to stop yourself from doing it too.
Work in a little snuggle time every day. Grab an oversized blanket and curl up on the sofa with your kids. It can serve as downtime right before bed or during TV time. This connection will become something everyone looks forward to.
Bonding does require effort, but it's one of the best things you can do as a family unit. It doesn't take much - just a little creativity.
- Lisa Wood is many things - psychological horror author, adjunct professor and freelance writer among them. She lives in Martinsburg.