What happens when I try to study…
Me and Annie are in hysterics and we have come up with a number of conspiracy theories.
- Every trig formula we’ve ever learned is made up for the purpose of demonstration, and actually has no real-life application.
- Math was invented by terrorists to keep us distracted.
- Math is one big inside joke between all scientists, philosophers, and math teachers to crush our souls. It doesn’t actually exist.
- Math is proof that the devil exists.
- Math is the real cause of cancer.
- WARNING: Long-time exposure to math can cause brain damage, tumors, anxiety disorders, internal bleeding, suicidal thoughts, hemorrhoids, breast cancer, lung cancer, prostate cancer, arm cancer, leg cancer, toenail cancer, dry skin, mosquito bites, irritability, hives, heart failure, clogged arteries, morning sickness, pregnancy, hallucinations, schizophrenia, anger issues, bipolar disorder, male pattern baldness, dizziness upon standing, vertigo, tingling in extremities, slurred speech, temporary blindness, dry mouth, profuse sweating, vivid or strange dreams, severe liver problems, alcoholism, substance abuse, and bladder control problems.
- Math is the leading cause of fatal poisoning in children under the age of six.