How do your sex-talk skills stack up? Check your answers from the quiz against these.
Answer to Question #1: A
As early as the toddler years
Okay — this one was a giveaway, but sooner is better than later. Think of it this way: Talking to kids about sex is just part of good parenting, and you want to be the best parent you can be right from the start. Plus, little ones are eager audience members — they’re naturally curious about bodily functions, and they love to learn new stuff. Just be sure to continue the conversation as your child gets older and has new sex questions that need answers.
Answer to Question #2: C
"Vagina” (or “penis,” if you have a son) — because it’s the proper name.
Let’s face it — a vagina’s a vagina and a penis is a penis. If you don’t teach your child the proper name for his or her genitals, he or she’s bound to pick up a nickname for them somewhere, and you might not be too pleased with what’s heard in the sandbox. Also, it’s important for your little one to be able to communicate to you or her doctor exactly where something feels wrong or hurts. Hey, he or she might toss around the “penis” or “vagina” word in some inappropriate places, but your small fry will also feel less inhibited talking about his or her penis or vagina as the need arises later in life.
Answer to Question #3: D
Treat it as an opportunity to talk about body parts and privacy.
No doubt about it — the masturbation chat can be tricky, especially since you don’t want to send the message that your little one has done anything wrong. But you do want her to know that going to town in the middle of the family room isn’t all right. The key is to define the parameters of what’s okay and what’s not. Touching your own private parts? Okay. (Touching someone else’s? Not.) Doing it where other people might see you? Not okay. In short, treat your toddler’s natural interest in masturbation as an opportunity to explain that our bodies are great, they can feel great, and she can touch herself when she wants to in private.
Answer to Question #4: A
Keep it simple. Offer details only if she asks.
It’s tough to know how to address complicated questions, especially when you’re talking to kids about sex. Keep answers on your toddler’s level by responding only to what she asks. If she wants to know why she has a vagina, say, “Girls have vaginas, and you’re a girl.” No need to elaborate on the various functions and parts of that vagina — save it for down the road. Still, don’t ignore her questions, and if she asks for more details, offer them, using simple language. Remember, you’re laying the groundwork for open communication as she grows — and thinks up even more complicated questions.
Answer to Question #5: B
Explain that bodies change when people grow up.
Toddlers are curious little people, and they learn about the world by observing what’s around them. That means that they look at — and ask about — everything from puppies to pickles to pubic hair. It’s pretty likely that at some point your toddler will see you and your partner in your birthday suits and be curious about the differences in bodies. In answering, keep it simple — no anatomically correct photos or up-close-and-personal demos required (or advisable). Explain that all parts of our bodies change as we grow up — our noses get bigger, our private parts grow hair, and mommies’ breasts grow. Daddies might even lose hair on their heads. Talking about bodies openly normalizes the conversation and helps your child understand that there’s nothing scary or unusual about private parts. Big or little, hairy or bare, body parts are just part of the whole person.
Answer to Question #6: C
Use simple language, but answer honestly.
If you’re pregnant or someone else in your toddler’s orbit is expecting, get ready for her to pop the age-old question: “How are babies made?” Before you answer, keep in mind that she isn’t asking you to explain ejaculation and embryonic growth — she wants a simple answer. Try explaining that mommies and daddies fit their bodies together like puzzle pieces to make a baby. Drag out one of her favorite puzzles, and she’ll probably move on to other topics.
Answer to Question #7: B
Toddlers are very literal creatures. If you say, “Want to hang later?” they’ll conjure up images of the two of you dangling from monkey bars. That’s why using words like “egg” and “tummy” can be confusing when you’re talking to kids about sex. If you tell her you have a baby in your tummy, she’s likely to wonder if you ate one for lunch. Say babies come from eggs, and she’ll be looking for children in her breakfast. Instead, use anatomical terms, like “ovum” or “uterus.” Even though she might not know exactly what you mean, she won’t be confused by hearing familiar words in an unfamiliar context.
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