Ray : Where’s my iPad?
Timmy : Your iPad’s gone!
Joshua : Can we move to Alabama?
Ray : No, son. We’re moving to Texas.
Josh : But if we lived in Alabama and came here for a visit, we could sing “Sweet Home Alabama“!
Timmy : That’s funny, Josh!
Me : Noah, where did you put my glasses?
Noah : I gave them back to you.
Me : I promise you that you didn’t.
Noah : I promise me, Mom, I did!
Me to Ray : What do you think about Ikea being accused of using horse meat in their meatballs?
Ethan : I think you shouldn’t buy food at a furniture store.
Ethan : If a cockroach can live through an atomic bomb, what the heck is Raid made out of?