Yes, there are always those moments when you feel like yelling until you've lost your voice for weeks... but you have to take control over yourself, so here are some helpful tips!
Part 1 of 3: Quick fixes for controlling your temper
1Take a deep breath.Ad
2Allow five seconds to stand between you and logic. Count to five, and remember that logic always beats anger.
- Alternatively, count from 1 to 10 in ascending order and then descending order, you will feel a bit calmer.
3Think about the good things that person has done for you. What bad have you done to them? Chances are, you've done at least something to them to make them resentful towards you. Make sure you have a clear conscience-then speak.
- Ask yourself whether blowing your top is going to achieve what you want. Nobody responds well to being intimidated, shouted at and made to feel fear. If anything, it causes people to shut down and try to self-protect. They won't be able to listen to anything you have to say if it's all through your shouting and bad temper.
4Stop talking to that person for a few minutes to whom you are angry and take deep breath around 5-7 times. Try breathing slowly in through your nose, and out through your mouth. This will calm you down.
5Realize that things can be handled well at all times. It's just a matter of what kind of attitude you put into it. Take deep breaths.
6Remember that the reward for patience is happiness.
7If you are angry and you are standing, sit down; if you are sitting, lie down.
8If you still feel the anger and have to let it out, tear old newspapers into shreds. This is a popular method to let the steam out.
Part 2 of 3: If you lost your temper
1Relax. The sooner you can calm down and regain control, the better.
2Forgive yourself but learn the lesson. Sometimes you mess up. Take this occasion and treat it as the learning opportunity it is: What triggered your temper and what are you going to do to ensure this does not happen again?
3Get over it. Let it go. You had a blow-up, it doesn't make you a bad person. Apologize sincerely to the person you unleashed your fury on, forgive yourself, and move on. Life is too short to dwell on past mistakes. Learn from it and try to do better next time.
Part 3 of 3: Longer term fixes for a bad temper
1Realize that no one likes to be around people who get angry easily, and act abusive. The only way you can change the situation is by starting with yourself.
2Be considerate of others, and ultimately, yourself. The way you react will ultimately affect your surroundings. If you have to rebuke someone for doing something wrong, you can always do it calmly, in a private place. This method is always better for everyone in the long run.
3Don't say hurtful things. Saying hurtful things could be very risky and dangerous and it can hurt someone's heart, so remember to stay calm when you feel hyper.
4Get away from situations where your anger might get the better of you, such as when someone is teasing you. Ignore the other person and walk away. If you must, do this a few times until the person gets the hint that you will not tolerate it. It's okay to use your words or body language to tell somebody you will not tolerate how they are treating you, as long as you respond to them in a calm and matter of fact manner, without being overtly hurtful or trying to embarrass them as they have you. It's never okay to hit somebody for making fun of you.
5Remember that your temper can ruin your life. When your eyes are opened it might be too late, so try to control your anger and follow the above steps. It will definitely get you away from tension.Ad
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- Don't hurt anyone. If you want to hit something, punch your pillow.
- When you feel like you are about to blow up, count from 10 to 0 and then decide how you will act. This doctor-recommended method has definitely helped.
- Find ways to distract yourself.
- Learn and analyse why you get angry of the situation.
- Punch and/or scream into a pillow while you are alone. Give it a time limit. This helps to let off steam so you don't take your anger out on someone else.
- If you anticipate a situation where you are likely to become angry or frustrated, such as at your job, wear an elastic band on your wrist. When you feel your tension rising, a twang on the elastic band can act as a distraction and replace the pain you could cause if you were to lose your temper.
- Try writing down the things that make you angry, writing them down may help you to control your temper, to relieve the stress you may feel when you are angry, also to avoid a violent reaction.
- Go to the gym. Working out will take out the adrenaline that comes with anger.
- Go in your bedroom and read.
- When you are angry, your heart beats faster, you feel uneasy and you want to express it somehow. Stay calm and take deep breaths, close your eyes for a while and you will find that the situation is under your control and slowly you will master your anger.
- Ask yourself, in three weeks, will this (whatever is making you mad) matter to me at all?
- Take a nap; your brain will do its work and you will feel much better after a 30-minute nap.
- Although it may seem hard in the beginning, you will get it as long as you put yourself into it. No one wakes up one day as a changed person, and you can't learn a new skill in one day. Learning to control your temper is definitely a skill and it's a great thing to master; good for you and for others.
Categories: Anger Management
Recent edits by: ALEJANDROR, NSK, Serendibite
In other languages:
Español: Cómo controlar tu temperamento, Français: Comment contrôler son tempérament, Italiano: Come Tenere il tuo Umore sotto Controllo, Português: Como Controlar Seu Temperamento, Deutsch: Dein Temperament im Griff haben, Русский: контролировать свой темперамент
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