How often have you thought to yourself or heard someone say, “All the good ones are taken,” or “I’ll never find true love”? These statements and thoughts may seem like clichés but when we hear them or think them over and over, they reflect our limiting beliefs about our ability to have lasting, loving relationships in our lives.
Beliefs have such power because they structure your way of thinking. Every day you think thousands of thoughts to yourself. You may contemplate gentle, compassionate, loving thoughts, or you may tend to berate yourself over and over again. Your thoughts and emotions are directly connected to the beliefs you hold. This is why it is so difficult to maintain positive thinking about your love life or anything else unless you establish nourishing beliefs first.
Your attitudes and thoughts produce powerful feelings in your body. If you believe you will never be loved or have a wonderful romantic relationship, you have many thoughts that support these attitudes every day. Every time you have these thoughts you will feel the emotions connected to the views you have. With these examples, you might feel hopeless, sad, angry, powerless, or anxious. Whatever you are feeling, know that it is directly connected to your beliefs and thinking.
When you consider your emotions in this way, you can see that it is normal to feel depressed, angry, or sad when your thoughts and conclusions are pointing to a future without true love. Instead of judging your emotions as bad or denying your feelings altogether, you can begin to examine the way you feel and explore the beliefs inside you that are creating these emotions. I suggest you explore honoring all your emotions as guides to your inner reality, the beliefs you hold deep in your unconscious.
You can begin to untangle your identity from your thoughts and emotions by getting in touch with the beliefs that are causing them. One effective way to do this is with journaling. Stream-of-consciousness journaling has become popular in recent years because it lets your deepest beliefs emerge without criticism in a format you can return to again and again. Follow the steps below to use journaling to unearth any obscured limiting beliefs you may hold about love and relationships.
1. Begin your journaling process by letting go of all judgment about your writing. Breathe deeply for several breaths and focus your awareness on your situation, concern, or question and give yourself permission to write freely.