She Avoids Your Kiss
there’s a problem if she’s quietLike my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “I don’t like it when a woman gets quiet, because I can’t trust her.” It usually indicates that her Interest Level is not as high as it should be. And guy, when you copied her behavior, you did react to her. So you’re contradicting yourself. And by the way, instead of impersonating a clam, you should have been the funny clown. You might own all my books, but you haven’t memorized them.
You’re on target when you say that something wasn’t right about the situation. What happens when you finally have all of my materials down is that your intuition will sense the date environment. When the woman isn’t talking, it might mean she’s not in the best mood, or she’s had a particularly rough day, or — worst-case scenario, but most likely possibility — she has low Interest Level like I said earlier. When a babe is quiet, especially in the early stages of dating, you have a problem. I’ve never found that being quiet was a positive.
here’s your mistake…Going in for the kiss when she was in a funky mood was a huge mistake. I told you what to do, Archie, and you broke the rules. Of course you weren’t thinking straight — you were thrown off by the fact that this babe wasn’t talking. So what did you do? You bastardized “The System.”
And here’s where the problem gets more complicated. Victoria turned you down for a kiss, but you kissed her at the wrong time. And once you break the rules of “The System,” it’s hard to gauge what’s really going on with the woman’s Interest Level. To boot, you reacted to her quietness by changing your entire personality, and you didn’t make her laugh.
What you should have said when she said being quiet means she’s happy was, “Oh, I get it now.” However, you don’t believe her or disbelieve her. To you Psych majors, you look for a pattern in the future.
what did she mean?What did Victoria mean by, “You can be even more quiet than me?” I don’t like this at all. Like my cousin Sal “The Fish Love says, “I smell a rat here.” Talk about Womanese — Victoria’s the one who was being silent, and then she turns around and attacks you for being quiet.
your mistake no. 2It was another big boo-boo when you asked if Victoria didn’t like you. Why in the world are you talking about her Interest Level? I tell you guys to keep it light and funny and no heavy subjects, then you go and get embroiled in a heavy contest of trying to outflank each other on the subject of what “quiet” really means. This mess wouldn’t have happened if you’d kept it funny and light like you were supposed to and not tried to kiss her at the wrong time.
Getting that great kiss from her was the one positive thing that happened. And hopefully this distant mood of hers was just a passing thing. Maybe it’s her nature; with time you’ll find out. By the way, Victoria should have told you first that she had a good time on that date. And you didn’t have a fun time, dude — you lied.
things ended okThe way it ended, things seemed to be OK, but again, Archie, just make sure you don’t forget what happened and keep your eyes peeled for a pattern.
In the end, there could a thousand reasons why Victoria refused your kiss. One, for instance, might be that you tried to smooch her in a public place. But don’t ask why she didn’t kiss you — ask yourself why you didn’t go by the book.
What happened is not a red flag, because you went against my principles. You did something wrong, then she did something wrong, so there can’t be a red flag. Like the great Doctor Freud once said, “A red flag is when you do everything right and SHE does something wrong.”
In the future follow my guidelines strictly and stop cherry-picking.
Remember, guys: If you don’t go by the rules, you can’t judge her Interest Level.
To hear my LOVE RADIO SHOW, send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644. For the past 30 years Doc Love has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”