Germany has a moobs problem. Moobs, or man boobs, are popping up in members of the German army’s elite fighting force and it’s all because of their hard-hitting methods of training.
Soldiers from the Wachbataillon guard battalion are experiencing the unintentional side effect of moobies as a result of slapping their rifles too hard on their breasts during drills. Metro jokingly suggests that perhaps the German army has “begun developing man-boobs in a potentially-innovative approach to defeating enemy forces.” According to The Huffington Post, a new military report published in the German Medical Science finds that dozens of soldiers in the Wachbataillon unit have developed the condition because the drills they perform stimulate male mammary glands.
Metro reports that “more than 75 per cent of the battalion have developed the weapons of mass distraction after being affected by the condition known as one-sided gynecomastia which has stimulated growth in the soldiers’ glands.” Professor Bjorn Krapohl told the German Herald how the German Army developed this moobies problem and future incidents might be averted:
‘There is a very significant link between the activity in the guard battalion and the development of the breast on the left side. They need to change the way they drill. The constant slamming of the rifles against the left hand side of the chest is clearly a significant factor.”
An army spokesman said “affected soldiers are being medically supervised and treated individually.” Some have resorted to plastic surgery for breast reduction.
Oh, and as a friendly tip, never, ever run a Google image search for the keyword “moobs.”