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In 2001 Barrack Obama was born in Kenya. Shortly after his birth, his parents decided they wanted him to make America as poor as Kenya. So they put smuggled him onto a boat and had him sent to America. After the boat arrived in America, a white homosexual man couple found him and wanted to raise him.
During his childhood, his "parents" taught him many tricks like
- How to make things poor
- How to put people out of business
- How to lie
All of the "tricks" they taught him would come in hand for his presidency! Later on his "parents" decided they wanted him to have a horrible education. So they had him sent back to Kenya for school.
edit Teen Years
As soon as Barrack turned 13, his "parents" taught him how to pimp. It wasn't long after when he stated pimping other teenaged boys. In rare cases, he would pimp seven year old GIRLS. Obama realized that he needed a birth certificate for a lot of things. So from his prostitution money, he paid Chris Christy, the nearly anorexic governor to print him one. As soon as he got his drivers license, he drove to gas stations learning how they worked. After all, if he knows how they work, then he could raise the prices when he became president. Then one day he walked into a strip bar. He saw the perfect Ho, Michelle Obama. She was eating vegetables and drinking skim milk.