Akuma
September 28th, 2003 <GROUP CALL> Chad: Pause? Melissa: Okay Jackson: Okay…wait, gimme a sec. Brian: Sure Laura: Yep Joshua: Yes, I’m ready. Chad: Okay….pause on three. One…two…three. Chad: Everybody at the 53:47 mark? Jackson: Exactly Laura: Perfectly synchronized Brian: Like what Laura said. Joshua: I’m off two seconds…I got 53:45 on my DVD player. Chad: Slacker…okay gimme a minute…gotta pee. The five best friends from high school have watched horror movies remotely since their freshmen year at their respective colleges. They gather remotely, via a “group call” on their cell phone speakers, while they all watch the same DVD horror movie synchronized together as a group. This allows them to watch the same movie together while making comments to each other. Each member of the “Durham Horror Posse” takes their turn once a month to choose a horror DVD for their remote group viewing. Once revealed, the other members of “The Posse” would then order the DVD via Netflix mail delivery. This group of best friends began this video tradition back at Durham High School starting in their sophomore year. Back then, all five would gather at one of their houses, most likely in a dark basement and watch horror movies together on a rented VHS tape from Blockbuster. The Thing, The Exorcist, Poltergeist, Scream, Leprechaun, Mimic, Hellraiser, and Halloween were among their favorites during their high school watch parties. Per tradition, each member would bring a different snack to each viewing. Now as juniors in college, they continued this tradition as they wanted the ability to talk to each other and make comments during the movie as they did back in high school. One member, Joshua Hastings, came up with the idea during their freshman year at college. Joshua was attending Michigan State University on a Molecular Chemistry scholarship, when he realized The Durham Posse can continue this remotely, with everyone at their respective colleges, watching the same horror movie on a Netflix DVD, synchronized together. Adding a cell phone group chat on his Blackberry phone, Joshua could set up the other four members to call in, with all viewers on their cell phone speaker so they can talk to each other during the movie. Melissa Corbett is a nursing student at Springfield University in Massachusetts. Jackson Harding is on a football scholarship and Communications major at Vanderbilt. Chad McDermott studies Mechanical Engineering at Syracuse. Brian Dawson, who had changed his major twice, goes to UMass studying whatever seemed to tickle his academic fancy that current semester. A sixth member of the Durham Horror Posse was added last year when Brian met Laura Stillson at college during his sophomore year; the same year he wanted to be an English teacher. Laura, an Education Major and a horror film enthusiast, was unanimously voted into the group by its members and has been a dedicated member ever since her first movie with the group; 13 Ghosts. After the brief pause by Chad, the group continued and eventually finished watching their latest movie; Ghost Ship. Melissa: Okay, I thought it was just okay. Chad: Special effects sucked. Joshua: Great pick Jackson. Jackson: Hey..I heard it was scary…okay…we’re gonna get duds once in a while… Brian: Dude, Children of The Corn part 7 was better! Ghost Ship? Really Jack? Tell ya what, stick to playing football…we’ll pick the movies moving forward. Jackson: Okay..okay…it was cheesy….ghosts on a boat…it sounded good.Laura: I thought it had all the elements…fear…isolation…paranoia…decent amount of gore…good job Jackson! Jackson: Thank you, Laura! See people…open up yo imaginations! Melissa: So, who’s turn to pick next month? Joshua: Oh..just wait horror fans! I got next month’s viewing all picked out. Each of you should be receiving a DVD in the mail in the next couple of weeks. We will simultaneously cue that bad boy up next time….looks to be end of October. All Hallow’s Eve bitches! All I gotta say, it’s an import from the Far East…..unavailable in any video store in the U.S. Netflix does not carry it or Best Buy. Melissa: I hate foreign movies…tell me it’s not subtitled. Joshua: I have no clue…I made this easier for you all. Nobody has to order from Netflix! I’m mailing the DVD out to everyone….at my expense BTDubs….. Chad: Oh great….you do know that Cabin Fever is coming out on DVD next month…and you choose some Asian horror instead? Brian: What’s its title? Ninja Zombies of Tokyo? Hah..ha..ha Jackson: Godzilla vs The Ramen Noodle Beast? (muffled laughter) Laura: Okay guys….easy…The Grudge and The Ring were both successful Japanese horror movies…so let’s give Josh some props on “going international” here… Joshua: Thank you, Laura. Okay crew..laugh it up….you just wait next month. Gotta go…need to start my paper on reactive molecules when neutrons are stripped away….so….yeah. Melissa: Bye bitches Brian: See ya! Laura: Love you guys! Bye-bye. Chad: Out Jackson: Later ya’ll Joshua: Till our next viewing…. Joshua: Oh wait….hold on. One rule…nobody opens their DVD envelope until we all hook up for the viewing. Chad: Got it. Laura: I’m okay with that rule. Brian is in the bathroom….I’m sure he’s good. Jackson: Heard. Melissa: Gee, can’t wait. Such suspense! <END OF GROUP CALL> One month later. Joshua opens the “Posse” group chat on his Blackberry at 9:58pm on Saturday, October 29th. He waits for the members of the Durham Horror Posse to call in. By 10:07pm all members have dialed and locked into the group call. <GROUP CALL> Joshua: Welcome members of the Durham Horror Posse. Hope everybody had a sparkling week at their institutes of higher learning! Jackson: Ankle sprain this week in practice. I’m probably gonna miss a couple practices and I didn’t suit up today vs Kentucky. No biggie…. Laura: Awww…poor Jackson! Maybe this movie will take your mind off your sprain. Chad: I bet Vandy played better today without you dude… Melissa: Not funny Chadster! Jackson: I’m good Melis….Chad still pissed he got cut from his Pop Warner league when he was ten. Kentucky beat us…beat us bad. I’m over it. Brian: Josh…can we open the DVD envelope? Joshua: Hold on…first, our tradition; name your snack and beverage for the movie. Brian: Laura and I are sharing a bag of Cheetos and a six of Keystone Light. Vodka Jello shots too! Joshua: Nasty shit guys…really Keystone? That’s the beer we use for Beer Pong! I’m rockin’ Twisted Tea and cold pizza! Got some weed too! Chad: Buffalo wings…washing it down with Natty Light!! Unfortunately, no weed. Jackson: You guys are so barbaric. Captain and Coke with Rold Gold pretzels for me! Joshua: Melissa? Hello? Melissa: Okay…stuffin’ my face with ranch Doritos and a cheap chard. I got half a joint to suck on for the viewing. Joshua: Let’s do this!! Ladies and gentlemen, open your DVD envelopes!! ~ Chad: Josh…what the fuck!!! Jackson: Dude…this a joke right. Akuma? Impossible… Brian: A pretty lame joke Josh! We should’ve ordered the Cabin Fever DVD from Netflix. This is bullshit. Laura: Hold on Bri….just relax…okay…Josh, please explain because this cannot be the actual Akuma movie. Joshua: Oh but it is…I.. Chad: But how did you.. Jackson: It’s banned everywhere…no fuckin’.. Melissa: Josh…guys…I….not funny..this is Joshua: Okay…hold on…everyone is talking at the same time. Just listen. It’s banned everywhere including in Japan where it was made but not in Mexico where bootleg copies of the original movie are available if you know the right people and throw a few pesos their way. Melissa: Not feeling good about this already. Chad: Mexico? How the hell did…. Jackson: Josh man, you know the story behind this movie. Right? Brian: I say fuck it…let’s get drunk and watch together. Laura: Brian!!…shush….lets discuss…let’s think about this. Melissa: Okay peeps….we’ve all visited online forums about this cursed movie. We’ve read what’s out there. Akuma is a Japanese demon that starts off as a moth…then grows. It feeds off fear and human affliction…..okay…I’m sure it’s an urban legend…dunno…..don’t care. Not sure we need to see this. It’s banned for a reason! Count me out on this one. Jackson: Melis…chill. You know the rules….we all watch a horror movie together or we all watch nothing at all. Nobody bails. Chad: Yeah, I heard about a moth too. The moth represents some Japanese demon of like…resurrection?Brian: On a MySpace page of urban legends a while back, I had read that Akuma was filmed in a cursed village in Japan. The myth states that when somebody watches this movie, someone in that village drops dead. Over four hundred people in that town have suddenly dropped dead since the movie was secretly released. Joshua: Such bullshit! Melissa: Oh great, so we all watch this movie and six people in Japan will drop dead. Fun. Laura: I read something different….watching this movie brings back a deceased relative. I know it’s crazy…I’m sure there are probably dozens of these types of insane rumors out there on all the online horror forums. Chad: Josh, are these DVD’s ripped from the original? Man..I mean, Akuma is handwritten with a Sharpie on the disc including some Japanese scribble…it’s probably some children’s cartoon or an illegal porn featuring some senorita with a freakin’ donkey. Josh, you got duped bro! Laura: Josh…how did you get these copies? Josh: Yes, these are ripped CD’s from the original. I saw an advertisement in the back of my Fangoria magazine. It listed rare international horror movies for sale. Akuma was listed. I called but some guy in L.A. said it was a misprint. But he said he knew a dude across the border that had bootleg copies. He gave me his number and I talked to some Mexican dirt bag named Enrique. He told me he had one copy but could burn me more if needed. Brian: This so shady…but I like it!! This is gonna be epic! Joshua: So, I placed an order over the phone. Took a chance and used my credit card. It cost like five bucks per disc. Shipping was another ten spot. I got them in the mail last month and then went to UPS to send one to each of you. You can thank me anytime now. Chad: Fuck you very much Josh. Jackson: Damn, I’m pouring me another strong Captain n Coke….I say let’s do this! Brian: Remember back in 99…we watched Blair Witch for the first time together and how we were spooked because we heard it was actually real found footage. We survived right? Chad: I agree with Brian. They hype up the movie so it creates this mystique of realism to increase interest and viewership. They know there’s a market for urban legend movies. Just like what Blair Witch did…. Joshua: You guys know what to do. Place the DVD in your player. Lights out. Grab your remote and we all hit play at the same time. Laura: Fuck it. Brian and I are in. Jackson: My ankle is throbbing. I need a creepy distraction. LET’S GOOOOOOO!!!!Chad: Okay….I’m ready Joshua: Melissa? Chad: Melis? Brian: Josh, did she hang up? Melissa: No, still here assholes! My apartment is way too dark; I was just turning on lights. Joshua: Soooo…like, you with us? Melissa: Just a Japanese urban legend, right? Okay…fuck it. I’m in. Joshua: Okay sports fans, grab your remotes. Hit play on three. One….two…….three. ~ Chad: Okay…really? No intro? No title? No sound? This could be any amateur movie. Dude…we got duped. Melissa: Love the grainy black and white effect….soooo amateurish. Joshua: Does anybody have audio? Laura: Negative Brian: No audio…not a peep. Jackson: I hear nada. Chad: My video keeps fluttering. Think I got a bad rip. Laura: Okay…what is that? Anybody? Jackson: Looks like a shadow on a wall…not sure. A dark stain? Laura: Is it growing? Melissa: Oh my God! Are those people on the floor? There are children too! Brian: They appear to be dead. Decent make-up work…looks real. Chad: Look…I see moths flying over the bodies… Laura: Yeah…big-ass moths…oh gross…one just crawled into that lady’s mouth. Melissa: Moths are so nasty. They’re the ugly cousins of butterflies. Jackson: Why is there no sound? Was audio removed somehow when these discs were burned? Another fifteen minutes pass in the watch party as the camera in the film pans across the dark room showing at least eight bodies lying on the floor. Two of which are young Japanese children along with one that appears to be a teenage boy. The bloated white bodies appeared to be in a process of decay with each one facing upwards with mouths hung agape. The glow of an old box style television and a dim, orange-shaded lamp on a tabletop provide the only illumination in the bizarre room. Large moths flutter in the gloomy orange haze of the room. The person manning the video camera in the movie walks past a mirror briefly reflecting back a tattered Japanese Geisha woman with disheveled jet-black hair with drippy-faced make-up running down her white face as if she were made of wax. Melissa: Okay..I’m calling first pause. This makes no sense. This is NOT a movie. Grab your remotes. Melissa: Ready.. pause on three. One…two…three. PAUSE. Chad: Everybody at the 17:48 mark on their DVD player? Melissa: What the fuck…mine is showing all zeros. Jackson: Mine is showing 44:18….way off. Joshua: This ain’t right…mine is 92:41 Laura: Ours says 17:48…same as Chad’s. Joshua: That’s fucked up…we’ve only been watching a little over fifteen minutes! Brian: Does everybody have the same image on their screen? A room with bodies on the floor with an old TV showing white noise? Kinda like the TV in Poltergeist…. Chad: Yes, but my screen is real glitchy though…jumpy. Melissa: Yes Brian, same scene. Laura: Can we please unpause?….I don’t want to stare at this same scene any longer. Jackson: I got same image…I need to pee…gimme five. Joshua: Why is the DVD tracking off? Chad: Wait…hold on…my paused scene just jumped ahead. I’m looking at a cemetery now…. Laura: Fuck! We just lost power! No lights…no display on our microwave or stove! Okay…wait….Brian, why is our TV still on? The DVD player has no power…no lights. But the movie is playing! I now see a cemetery too on our TV screen! Brian: Jesus Christ Laura..relax…I’ll go check it out. Where do we keep the fuckin’ flashlight? Laura: Brian…please unplug the TV! Joshua: Brian..Laura…it’s gotta be on a different circuit. Do you know where the breaker box is? Laura: Brian is checking it out. Melissa: This can’t be happening. Brian can be heard on everyone’s cell phone speaker but from a distance.Brian: Found a flashlight…breaker box is good…nothing tripped. I’m going down to the lobby…see if anybody else in our building has an outage….. Laura: Unplug the fuckin’ TV now Brian! Brian unplugs the TV. The TV goes black, filling their apartment with a deeper, more sinister darkness. Laura: Brian….don’t leave! Don’t you fuckin’ leave me alone! Brian: Relax….it’s a simple power outage…that’s all Laura, nothing supernatural going on here!…Okay..here…I’ll light a few candles for you. You got your friends on the phone. I’ll be back in ten. Jackson: Laura…we’re here girl….we gotcha’. Melissa: Easy girl…deep breaths….Brian will be back soon. Joshua: Maybe we end this. Chad: No dude…we move forward. They just lost power…no biggie. Jackson: Shit..my cell battery is down to five percent! What the fuck. I had full charge when we started this! Laura: You positive you fully charged it? Laura: Jackson? Jackson: What…the…fuck! Chad: What Jack? What’s wrong? Just plug in and charge it! Jackson: No…no…no…no…I just lost power! My lights went off…fridge went quiet…can’t charge my phone now! What the fuck man…my TV is still on….it’s all white noise! Brian leaves their sixth-floor apartment to head down the stairs to the ground level. Laura: Guys..I gotta tell ya…I’m scared…like really fuckin’ scared! (quivering voice) Melissa: Guys…there’s a butterfly in my apartment…..no…wait…it’s a fuckin’ moth….big and fuzzy…I mean big…like the size of a goddamn sparrow! It’s crawling on my TV screen now. Chad: Kill it Melis…roll up a magazine and smack it! Joshua: Everybody calm down. Shut off your DVD player…shut off your TV…we’re done here! Jackson: Hold on wait…..shhhhh…………..there’s somebody here with me…oh my God….I hear breathing in the kitchen! (whispered) Chad: What? Don’t fuck around Jackson! Melissa: Jackson? Jackson: I got two percent power….please don’t leave me…(whispered) Chad: Jackson….yer not fuckin’ around? Joshua: I got you Jackson…We’re here for you bro. You got this. Jackson: Oh God…one percent…someone is in my living room….call my mother and tell her I..<CALL ENDED> Laura: JACKSON!! Chad: Jackson…come on dude…stop.. Joshua: Wait, Chad….he’s really disconnected from our group call. Laura: Can you call him back? Chad: His cell phone died, and he has no power…unless he’s joking…I swear if… Laura: I think I should call my mother. Chad: Jackson is playing with us, right? He is a joker..right? Joshua: Let’s be cool people….this has nothing with the movie. We’re all safe. Joshua: Melis…still there? You good? Laura: Melissa? Hello? Joshua: She’s still connected to my call group….I think we need to…. Chad: Melissa!! Come on girl…. Joshua:….call the police or something…. Laura: Melissa! What’s going on? Talk to us….. Melissa: Mommy? <CALL ENDED> Joshua: Melissa? Laura: Melissa? Josh…what happened? Chad: What did she say? Joshua: She hung up…I think….she’s not showing up on my group call anymore. Laura: She said, “Mommy?” Chad: Josh…..Laura…we all know Melissa’s mother died from cancer when she was seven… Laura: What is going on here? Joshua: Chad…you unplug? Chad: Yes…TV and DVD player are off. Joshua: Okay…me too…let’s get through this …just weird coincidences….let’s remain calm and think about this… Laura: Oh thank God…..Brian is back! Laura: Oh my God Brian! While you were gone, Jackson lost power too! Then his cell phone just died and now he just….. Brian stood motionless, flashlight in hand, in the dark room facing Laura. His silhouetted body, a hollow shadow that the candlelight could not quite reach, swayed slightly. A throaty gurgle escaped his mouth. Laura: Brian? What’s wrong? Joshua: Laura, what’s up? Laura: Could you not shine the flashlight in my face? Laura: Thank you….now what did you find out downstairs? He stepped closer, now within the luminous reaches of the candles. His face glowed and flickered with the choreographed motion the candles. Laura thought he looked “off”.Brian: Good news Laura. I finally met my great-grandfather downstairs. He gave me a gift for you. (heard on the cell phone speaker from a distance)Brian takes another step forward and stands directly in front of Laura in their dark apartment in a catatonic daze. In candlelight Laura sees Brian’s throat pulsing. He opens his mouth wide to show Laura a moth walking out from the back of his throat, perching itself on the tip of his blackened tongue. Brian sticks his tongue out further displaying the moth sitting proudly on the tip of his tongue like a freak show cuckoo clock. Brian’s eyes are blood red with mad excitement. His pupils were excessively dilated in the candle lit living room. The large brown powdery moth fluttered its wings as if stretching from a long-cocooned hibernation. Laura lets loose a guttural primal scream captured on the cell phone speakers of Chad and Joshua. Joshua: Laura! What’s wrong?? Chad: Brian…Laura..what happened? The oversized moth, the size of a small bird, flew like a thrown dart straight for Laura’s mouth, now wide open in mid-scream. Laura’s body instantly jerked and flailed around uncontrollably like she was a marionette on a string. Instinctively she ran into the kitchen as if there was a special kitchen utensil near the sink to remove the hairy insect now lodged deep in her throat. Brian stood emotionlessly watching with pure delight. An evil crooked smile washed across his dry black lips. Laura had no control over her arms as she spastically knocked dishes and pots to the kitchen floor. Glass could be heard breaking on the cell phone speakers of Chad and Joshua. Joshua: Laura?? LAURA!!! What’s happening over there?? Chad: Brian…is Laura okay? Brian!! Pick up the phone!! Laura drops to the ceramic tiled kitchen floor. Her legs start to furiously kick the nearby kitchen cabinet doors. Her body convulsed and flipped and flopped like an epileptic on PCP. Her last attempt at self-preservation was to desperately claw at her own throat to try to rip open her gullet to remove the moth. Her fingernails dug in and tore at the skin of her throat. Her frantic, uncontrollable motions slowed. She twitched one last time. She laid still with both eyes and mouth wide open. Brian’s head tilted to one side like a dog trying to understand its master’s command. He appeared fascinated. Chad: Guys…come on….what’s going on?? Joshua: Chad…should we call the police? What’s their address? Do you know? Chad: Hello!! Anybody there? Is everybody alright?? The moth slowly backed out of Laura’s mouth, releasing the remnants of Laura’s final scream which got trapped between her lungs and her throat by the winged intruder. The released sound was reduced to a weakened breathless sigh as the moth dislodged itself. The moth walked across her black Maroon 5 tee-shirt, rubbing its saliva-soaked wings on her shirt as if to clean itself. It then fluttered its chalky wings to air-dry and then flew off. Brian straightened his tilted head and walked to his cell phone, still on speaker, leaning up against a framed photo of him and Laura when they traveled to Newport the year before. He bent down and spoke Japanese into the phone for both Chad and Joshua to hear. “Anata wa kon’ya shinudeshou” he repeats it, “Anata wa kon’ya shinudeshou”.<CALL ENDED> Joshua: What? Was that Brian? Chad…you hear that? Chad: Holy shit bro..what the fuck was that? Joshua: Looks like he hung up. Chad…what do we do? Chad: This can’t be happening Josh, This is too much for me! Chad: Josh, when is your roommate coming back? Joshua: Late tomorrow. He went home for the weekend. Brian calmly walked to their sixth-floor window, opened the window then the screen. He hoisted one leg over the window frame then the other. He ducked his head and sat on the window frame momentarily, looking down at the dark empty street below. A brisk late October breeze cooled his skin. He leaned forward and fell. He hit the pavement face first, breaking most of the bones in his body. His skull cracked open and sprayed the sidewalk with bursts of viscous red, pale pink and thick whitish-gray matter that resembled a Spin-Art drawing that an eight-year-old would make. Chad: Okay bro…when do we call the police or at least our parents. Something is going on that can’t be explained. Joshua: I need to clear my head. All of this has a rational explanation. I swear we’re being pranked. Chad: I’m beginning to wonder if those guys planned this. It’s close to Halloween and all.. Joshua: Let’s just get through this night. We’ll figure it out tomorrow. Prank or not. I’m gonna hang up…okay? Joshua: Okay? Let’s talk tomorrow. You hear me? Joshua: Chad? Chad: Josh…Josh….oh shit….no….no….oh God no…. Joshua: What’s happening? Chad: I’m not in my apartment anymore Josh…I’m cold….Its dark…too dark. … I don’t know where I am right now! But it’s not my place! It smells rotten..I think I’m outside….in a cemetery…Oh my God…. I gotta go…my Nana is here…she needs me….<CALL ENDED> Two Days Later “He’s been through a lot I believe. Dunno what happened over the weekend. He was hysterical when I found him on Sunday afternoon. He looked awful, curled up in the corner of his bedroom. Saying something like “they’re all gone, they’re all gone”. Then he kept repeating something like Okomo, or like Akoma…over and over again. I brought him to the ER immediately then called you guys.”, said Joshua’s roommate Nick addressing Joshua’s parents.Nick, Joshua’s parents, Arthur and Gloria Hastings and Detective Michael Scarpino were all standing together in room 237 of Glenview General Hospital in Lansing, Michigan. Joshua lay next to them in a hospital bed heavily sedated.Nick continued, “Oh…he did say something else…he said ‘I saw my Uncle Bob but he didn’t take me’ when I was driving him here.”“What?…Really? That’s my brother Robert. He died in a car accident about five years ago…Josh and my brother were very close”, said Mrs. Hastings with a look of concerned bewilderment on her face as she looked at her husband then back at Nick.“We’re still putting the pieces together on what happened to his friends. We’re working with investigators in three other states. It’s gonna take time…right now we don’t suspect foul play. But there appears to be some bizarre connection to what happened to all of them Saturday night.”, stated Detective Scarpino.Scarpino continued, “We found beer cans and marijuana in Joshua’s apartment. We also found a bag of mushrooms in his bedroom. He might’ve had a bad trip and just freaked out. We don’t know for sure yet. Toxicology report won’t be available for another two days.”A nurse walks into the room and directs her gaze toward The Hastings and says. “Dr. Traylor would like to see both of you in his office for an update on your son’s condition. Please follow me.” Joshua’s parents glance back at the hospital bed where their only son lay sleeping. Gloria Hastings walks over to kiss her son on the forehead. She turns and follows her husband and the nurse out of the room.Nick turns to the detective and asks, “Is it okay if I go now? I’ve got classes to attend at the university?”“Yes, definitely, I have your number if I have any further questions. Thanks for all you’ve done for Josh.”, answers the detective.“Sure…no problem. Josh is a good kid; he’d do the same for me.”Nick slowly walks out of the room leaving Scarpino alone with Joshua. Detective Scarpino hears a fluttering noise near the window. He turns to look at the sheer, pale yellow curtains of the hospital room window and sees nothing out of the ordinary. He turns back to Joshua’s bed and whispers under his breath, “Don’t know what happened Saturday kid, but we’ll figure it out. You get your rest and we’ll talk tomorrow.” Scarpino walks out of the room, closing the door behind him and turns right toward the elevators.The fluttering sound returns, this time heavier. A fluffy large brown moth emerges from behind the curtains, walking up the curtain and perching itself on top of the curtain rod. Its antennae move in unison testing the room’s air density and offering the moth its sense of smell. It stretches its powdery wings preparing for flight. The bright incandescent lamp in the corner of the room, normally an attraction to most moths, does not attract this moth. Instead, it redirects its flight path to another target; the wide open mouth of Joshua Hastings. . <END OF GROUP CALL> Credit: G. H. Appleby Copyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance.