Full Of Joy
Bright white light dapples the faces of the young, pretty music circles and echoes around the ears, fingers feel the lush dew of early morning grass, the crunch and tang of an apple excites the tongue and the nose is filled with the sweet aroma of that indefinable smell that haunts happiness. I feel my feet trail through the few spring flowers, and watch quietly as you parade in front of me. You’re always there; the blight on my paradise. It’s like a window – a glass door into another world that’s locked and barred from the other side. You dim my light; you turn my apples into ashes as they lie in my hands. One look from you, unknowing, rots the young and beautiful, aging them into hideous spectres; creatures to haunt my waking hours. I never sleep; I cannot while you live. Every nightmare you have, every bad thought you ever considered – every lustful glance, sinful desire, strange debauchery… All of your impurity seeps into my perfect world. It burns my plants; it destroys my sweet children. It burns my skin. Now I cannot even shut my eyes. The last whore you looked at burned away my delicate eyelids. But don’t worry. My transformation from perfection to rot had an added bonus. Every day I scrape at the window, at the glass door. Those strange sounds you hear whenever you’re alone? The fear that creeps into your heart after dark? The creaks and the thumps you convince yourself are the pipes and the heating? My fingernails – they screech and scratch at the window, at the glass door. Each day, I get closer. I’m down to my last few layers. Soon I’ll be full of joy again. Can you hear me laughing yet? I can’t wait to meet you. —
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