$12 BILLION: Thanks to SoftBank's gigantic pile of Vision money, there is an actual scenario where Travis Kalanick could conceivably return to Uber. Bloomberg reports that the company is in talks with SoftBank, General Atlantic, Didi and Dragoneer to raise as much as $1 billion to $1.5 billion in new funding, alongside another $2 billion to $10 billion in secondary funding. This could be used to buy out at least some of the stock from disgruntled shareholders like Benchmark and other early investors who no want to dive off this ship before it sinks any further. Er, I mean, "lock in gains." (Read all about the complications and the board battles this deal would cause here .)